


Educating Justin

by netlagd



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-03-17 23:32:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 64,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3547823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/netlagd/pseuds/netlagd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><img/><br/>banner by such_a_steph</p><p>Justin Taylor has been living with his boyfriend Ethan Gold who he has recently discovered is cheating on him... again.  They are in their Junior year at PIFA.  When confronted, Ethan states that he has to seek other companionship because Justin is frigid.  Justin enlists Brian Kinney to teach him how to be more affectionate and responsive so he can win the heart of the man he loves.  But just who is it that Justin loves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Had A Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: AU (characters are in canon along timelines 1-3)
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters and situations from Queer As Folk are the property of Russell T. Davies, CowLip Productions, Tony Jonas Productions, Showtime Networks Inc. and others. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 1: I ~~Have~~ Had A Boyfriend

“Remind me why we don’t do this more often?” Daphne leaned in toward Justin having to bring her voice to just below a yell to be heard above the thumpa-thumpa that was Babylon.

The techno dance mix reverberated around the concrete and steel cave, the base could be felt more than heard.

“I have a boyfriend,” Justin shouted back to her. He was blissfully unaware of the more than a few looks of disappointment that glanced his way as he shut his eyes and gave himself over to the music. 

The friends were enjoying a rare night out - just the two of them. A few more songs and they headed toward the bar. After ordering a couple of beers, they leaned back against the bar and watched the display of hot, sweaty bodies writhing to the music.

“God, I love dancing! I miss this soooo much!”

Daphne frowned. “Then why don’t you go dancing more often?”

“Because Ethan...”

“...doesn’t like to.” Daphne finished Justin’s words in disgust.

“Daphne...” Justin warned.

“What? He practically glares at me whenever I come to see you. You’ve resorted to seeing me behind his back. Justin, he wants to isolate you from your friends, your family. You said yourself that he blew up over you going to see Molly on her birthday. He never does anything that you want to do. You, on the other hand bend over backwards - or maybe forwards, I don’t know - and are at his beck and call when he feels like going out.”

Justin grimaced. Daphne was right, Ethan did have a tendency to want to control Justin’s life. And going out with Ethan and his friends was like being sentenced to hard labor. “His career is really important, he needs to make contacts now while he’s young, he needs to attend events and functions...”

“Oh bullshit!” Daphne interrupted. “What about your career? When was the last time that the two of you went out to something that you needed to do? wanted to do? was in the most remotely way fun?”

Justin frowned. He knew the answer - never. He and Ethan never did anything that Justin wanted to do, needed to do or found remotely fun. “Being part of a couple means that you have to compromise, support one another, find a happy medium. There has to be give and take.”

“Yeah, well it seems to me that you do all the compromising. All I see is you giving and him taking.”

“He loves me.”

Daphne snorted derisively.

“He does, he tells me all the time.” Justin protested. Who was he trying to convince? Daphne or himself?

Janet Jackson blasted from the speakers, the song somewhat prophetic. Daphne smiled and in a sing song voice asked, “What has he done for your lately?”

Justin couldn’t hold back a grin. He laughed. “He brought me breakfast in bed.”

“Oh yeah, like that was a stretch. What did he have to do? walk the five paces from the kitchen to the bed? I bet he made you wash the dishes.”

Justin tried to hide his frown. Daphne hit the nail on the head. While the gesture was sweet, Ethan had ran off to class leaving the dishes behind. Justin had to clean things up - he always was cleaning up behind Ethan - if he didn’t they’d have cockroaches by nightfall. He shook his head remembering - how could Ethan dirty so many dishes for a lousy omelet and some orange juice?

“Ah-ha! he did!”

Justin winced.

“Justin, he’s always taking advantage of you and you just take it. Like when he was screwing around with that T.A. [teaching assistant].”

“Daphne! be fair, that was last year. And besides, he told me how sorry he was and promised it wouldn’t happen again.”

“Yeah, well what about that guy that he was tutoring?”

Okay, Ethan had lapsed. But he had sworn to Justin that the student had come on to him. Justin had been out of town on a tour of NY Art Museums and Galleries that PIFA had arranged for spring break. He had come home to find Ethan and the student practicing their fingering techniques.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Justin drained the last of his beer and placed the empty bottle on the bar. “Let’s dance.”

“In a minute,” Daphne replied. “You go ahead, I have to pee. Do they even have a women’s room in this place?”

“Yeah. It’s the door over there with no line and no waiting.”

Daphne nodded. “You go ahead and dance, I’ll meet you on the floor in a few.” She headed off in the direction of the ladies room.

Justin shrugged and moved to the dance floor. He was soon swallowed up by the crowd. He closed his eyes, leaned his head back and let the music take over his body.

~~~~~~

“Had him, had him, had him...” Brian Kinney counted off the potential, acceptable tricks on the dance floor.

“Jesus Brian, is there anyone you haven’t had?” Ted snarked.

“He hasn’t had you, he hasn’t had me,” Michael replied. “And he hasn’t had Emmett.”

Emmett closed his mouth over his cocktail straw and tried to look innocent.

But Michael hadn’t missed the action and neither had Ted.

“Tell me you didn’t...” Ted begged.

Michael glared at Brian. “You told me that you don’t fuck your friends.”

“It was a very, long time ago,” Emmett darted a glance at Brian daring him to deny it. “Before we all knew each other. And it was only once.”

“You know my rule...” Growing bored of the conversation, Brian continued his sweep of the dance floor for possible partners. He soon zeroed in on a prospective candidate. “Later, boys.” Brian started down the steps, his eye on the target.

~~~

Justin was dancing to the remake and mix of 70’s disco classics along with every other hot sweaty body on the dance floor. Grabbing behind his neck, he pulled his shirt over his head and stuffed it in his back pockets. He closed his eyes to the crowd and moved to the throbbing beat.

Justin was caught in the thumping bass when a crystal queen landed against him with a thud. The air was pushed out of Justin’s lungs with an ‘oof!’, the crystal queen twirled off without so much as an apology. Justin stumbled a bit feeling himself loose balance and start to fall when a pair of strong arms and a solid chest saved him from that fate.

Justin quickly tried to regain his composure and went to move away from the warm body. The arms that held him tightened for the briefest of moments, pulling Justin close to the strong body, before letting go.

Brian reluctantly loosened his grip on the blond twink and let go. But not before every inch of the younger man’s body had made full contact with his own. 

“Sorry.” Justin mumbled, as he turned to see who had saved him from falling on his ass.

“No problem,” Brian responded dismissively as he scanned the crowd for his quarry. Shit! the trick was no where to be found. “Damn it! You made me lose him.”

“I said I was sorry. Wait. Who?” 

Brian turned to the voice and got a good look at the man with the questioning blue gaze in front of him. Distracted previously, he had overlooked the twink. He was kind of cute, in a shaggy, preppy, bright eyed kind of way. Brian quickly refocused his attention on the blond. 

“You can make it up to me.”

Justin was momentarily stunned as piercing hazel eyes flecked with gold swept his body.

Ignoring the look or blissfully unaware, Justin flashed him a smile. “Sure, it’s the least I can do for saving me from falling on my ass.”

“And what an attractive ass it is.” Brian glanced over Justin’s shoulder for a better view of what he’d felt only moments earlier.

Justin’s laugh was a bit more stilted this time. “I have to warn you, I have a boyfriend.”

“I won’t say anything, if you won’t.” Brian’s fingers reached out to walk a line down from Justin’s naked chest to his navel and then to the waistband of his baggy cargo pants. He hooked a finger inside and started to tug Justin to the back room.

A bit irked at where this man - handsome or not - was headed, Justin stopped and held his ground. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? I told you I had a boyfriend.”

Brian, deciding it was easier to shut the younger man up than to argue, grabbed Justin’s arms, leaned in and captured the blond’s lips.

Justin gave in to the powerful kiss before he realized what was happening. Brian’s mouth devoured his. Brian’s tongue thrust into his mouth, invading him, possessing him. Justin felt like he was drowning, as wave after wave of emotion tore at his body. They broke for air and Justin pulled back, his chest heaving with exertion.

“Who do you think you are?”

“No thinking about it, sonny boy, I’m Brian - fucking - Kinney.”

Justin hadn’t been to Babylon (or anywhere along Liberty Avenue for that matter) often enough to make the connection between Brian and the infamous stud of Liberty Avenue.

“Well, I’m Justin,” he panted catching his breath. “Justin - fucking - Taylor. And I told you I have a boyfriend!” Justin wrenched free of Brian’s hands and quickly moved through the crowd in an effort to escape. Grabbing Daphne (who had emerged from the ladies room and watched the scene unfold) by the hand, Justin continued to the exit. He quickly retrieved their coats from the coat check and steered Daphne out the door and into the crisp air of the night. Pausing in the alley to drag his shirt over his head and shrug into his jacket Justin stopped to light a cigarette. It took him three tries before for his hands to ceased to shake enough for the match to make connection with the roll of tobacco.

“Jesus, Justin what the hell just happened?” Daphne asked as she buttoned her jacket. “I thought we were having a good time.”

“I was until someone tried to pick me up and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“You mean the gorgeous guy with the perfect chestnut hair who had his tongue down your throat? He was *hot*!”

Justin took a drag on his cigarette. “You mean Mr. Brian - fucking - Kinney? He groped my ass and was dragging me to the backroom!”

“So?”

“So?! So I don’t enjoy being manhandled...”

“There’s something to be said for a forceful personality.” Daphne sighed.

Justin shot her a glare. “He didn’t bother to ask, he just took.”

_”and just how is this different from Ethan?”_ Daphne almost snarked out, but thought the better of it. She went for another tactic. “I don’t know. You two looked pretty hot and heavy to me.”

Justin touched his lips - mindful of the slight bruising from Brian’s punishing kiss. It had been hot. Justin had felt more alive than he’d had in ages. For a few moments there, when Brian was stealing the breathe from his very lungs, Justin had considered how good it might be to let Brian take the lead. He shook the thought away. 

“Yeah, well I told him I have a boyfriend. Speaking of which, I think I’ll head home. Ethan will be home soon and I want to take a shower.”

The evening was a bust. Daphne resigned herself to an early night. “I think I’ll go home and take a soak. Maybe read something other than a textbook or medical journal. Want me to give you a lift?”

Justin shook his head. Perhaps a walk would help him clear the thoughts racing around his head. Kissing Justin on the cheek and giving him a hug, Daphne headed to her car. 

Justin turned and headed in the opposite direction to the closest bus stop. There was one on the other side of the park where Ethan sometimes played for coins that passerbys might toss. Justin cut across the green of the field, lightly illuminated by the street lamps that lined the crushed rock and sand walkway.

A rustling behind a bush jerked Justin out of his thoughts. His eyes darted around, perhaps the park wasn’t the safest place to be at night. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket to check the time. It wasn’t even eleven. He quickened his pace away from the noise, but halted when he heard a familiar voice.

“Yeah... that’s it... beg for it. You want it, you want it. I’m doing it to you. Oh, yeah... work it... work it all like that, baby... oh, yeah!” Moans and grunts overtook making words unintelligable.

Justin grimaced at the term “baby”. He knew whose voice that was, he knew what those sounds meant, he peered around the bush in time to see two men on the brink of orgasm.

“Ethan.” Justin said dully. His shoulders slumped and Justin turned away from the two men who were still joined by Ethan’s dick. Fuck! for a night that had started out with so much fun, it was ending pretty shitty.

Ethan abruptly disengaged himself from the man he’d been fucking. He tried to right his clothes before heading off to pursue Justin. “Justin! wait! I can explain.”


	2. It's All About Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: A chapter where it comes down to being all about sex, but no sex actually occurs - don't want to mislead you here

By the time Ethan had gotten to their apartment Justin was cramming clothes into a duffle bag. Justin ignored him.

“Justin!” Ethan put a hand Justin’s arm. “Let me explain.”

Justin jerked his arm away.

“Just leave me alone, Ethan. I don’t want to talk to you right now. If I do, I’ll probably say something we’ll both regret.”

Ethan sat on their bed and watched helplessly as Justin gathered his belongings.

“Justin, I love you!” Ethan wheedled.

“Ethan, you say that, but I’m not sure that you do.”

“Justin, it’s not important.” Ethan’s voice was stronger. 

Justin whipped his head around and looked at Ethan incredulously. “You actually believe that?! Not important!? You’ve got to be kidding me!” 

“It’s only sex!” Ethan whined.

“I’m going to Daphne’s tonight, to cool off, to think.” Justin zipped the duffle.

“Justin, I love you. But it’s not like we have a great sex life.” Ethan was playing down the whole issue.

“So now it’s _my_ fault?”

“Justin, you’ve never really seemed that into it.” Ethan countered.

“So that makes it okay for you to just go somewhere else?”

“I have needs.” He may have meant for the protest to be strong, but it came out whiney.

“Oh bullshit!”

“It’s just sex.”

“It’s the most intimate part of our relationship. But it’s more than that. You promised.” Justin stared hard at Ethan. “You made a promise, a commitment. This isn’t the first time you strayed, either. I’ve been understanding. But frankly, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to trust you.” Justin frowned and shook his head in resignation.

“When will I see you again?”

Justin gathered the duffle, his portfolio and his backpack with his laptop and art supplies. Thankfully most of his art supplies were at the PIFA studios. He didn’t feel comfortable leaving his stuff at the apartment. He hoped the art that graced the walls of the apartment was safe until he had a time to come back to retrieve it.

“I don’t know. I have some thinking to do. I’ll let you know.”

“Fine! Go! Run off to your little girlfriend! You frigid cunt! I won’t miss you! Maybe it will warm up in here once your gone!”  
~~~~~~

“Justin? What are you doing here.” Daphne answered the door to her apartment in a fluffy chenille robe. Her hair was piled high on her head and her skin was flushed and damp from her bath. She yawned.

“I don’t suppose I could crash here for a couple of days?”

“Sure, my futon is your futon.” She opened the door wider to let Justin in.

He crossed the small open room that encompassed both living and dining areas. He dropped his duffle, backpack and portfolio by the futon couch. 

“Don’t say that unless you mean it.” He tried to give her a smile as he plopped on the couch.

Daphne took it all in - the bags, the dejected slump of his shoulders. “Oh shit, what he do this time? No, wait, I think we need to drink - beer or wine?”

“Just a soda - I need a clear head. I’ve got to think.”

Daphne retrieved a couple of sodas from the fridge in the galley kitchen. Justin popped the top.

“Thanks.”

“Tell sister Daphne all about it...”

Justin spilled his guts. 

He told her everything. 

About finding Ethan fucking the guy in the bushes.

“Ewww, I like sooo didn’t need all the details, thank you very much.”

About his fight with Ethan at the apartment.

“He’s such an asshole.”

About Ethan blaming him for being an unsatisfactory sexual partner.

“Oh. My. Gawd! He actually blamed you for his screwing around?!”

“Yeah. But, I... I don’t know... What if he’s right? I mean, sex has never really been a big part of my life. What if he’s right? What if I am frigid?”

Daphne thought seriously before answering. “I’ve heard of women being frigid - but that’s usually the fault of their partners. I didn’t think men could be frigid. If that’s so, it’s probably the partner’s fault there as well. I mean I don’t particularly see Ethan as being the kind and considerate lover. Actually, I don’t want to know what kind of lover Ethan is, thank you.”

Justin pondered this. He’d never felt comfortable discussing his and Ethan’s sex life with Daphne. It wasn’t that he had any secrets from her. It was more that Ethan and his sex life was not particularly interesting or notable. It hadn’t been important in the grand scheme of things - or so he had thought. Justin had thought that his and Ethan’s relationship had been built on trust and respect. Their mutual appreciation of art in all it’s forms. Well, that theory was shot dead in the water. He was ashamed that it had come to this.

“Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am cold and unfeeling.”

“You are not cold and unfeeling.”

“He’s right that I don’t feel much when we do it. I mean, most of the time I’m doing it for him. I don’t really get a lot out of it. I used to like it when we kissed, but of late he’s not done much of that and it’s not like I’ve really missed it.”

“Justin! Sex shouldn’t be an obligation. Sure you should please your partner - but your partner should be pleasing you too! I may not have firsthand knowledge about gay sex, but I’m pretty sure it should feel good, or there wouldn’t be so many men in the back room at Babylon.”

Justin smiled. “Well, I must be doing something wrong.”

“I don’t know, it looked like you were doing something right earlier this evening.”

Justin bit his lip. He hadn’t forgot the kiss that Brian had given him on the dance floor earlier that night at Babylon. It _was_ hot.

“... it was hot!” Daphne voiced his thoughts. “I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you and that guy - what was his name?”

“Brian... Brian Kinney... Brian - fucking - Kinney.”

“I bet he’d make you feel something.”

He already had, Justin thought. He didn’t want to go there. “You know Daph, if you don’t mind, I just want to go to bed. It’s been a shitty day.”

“Sure, you want to make up the futon or just flop on my bed with me.”

Justin looked at the couch he was sitting on. He didn’t want to waste the energy to make it up with sheets. “I’ll share your bed with you - but don’t get any ideas. I may be cold with Ethan, but I’m not going to convert.” He chuckled.

Daphne laughed, it was good that Justin was showing a sense of humor. Personally she thought that this was the best thing that could have happened. Finally! Justin would be away from Ethan. She had never cared for the fiddler, nothing would please her more than for him to be gone from Justin’s life.

“Come on roomie, I promise not to grope you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always reviews, comments are welcome (appreciated, encouraged, begged for...)


	3. The Ubiquitous Justin Taylor

Brian looked down at Justin’s blond head. Brian watched the progress of strawberry lips as they moved from the indent of his navel down a widening and thickening path of auburn hairs to the point where his cock jutted out from his body. He buried his hands in the soft, blond hair.

Justin looked up into Brian’s hazel eyes, his own blue eyes dancing with devilment. His tongue reached out and swiped along the slit of Brian’s cockhead. Brian leaned back against the concrete wall and closed his eyes relishing the exquisite combination of pleasure and pain.

“Justin...” he sighed.

“Huh?” The shaggy brown haired trick that had been servicing Brian’s cock looked up from his task.

“What?” Brian glared down at the trick.

Immediately reluctant to take issue with anything that Brian might say, the trick murmured, “uh, you have a beautiful cock.”

“Like I haven’t heard that before,” Brian responded with disdain. He pushed the trick's mouth back to his cock. He leaned back and closed his eyes, willing himself back into the half-dream that the trick had interrupted. He never quite got back. The trick was marginally talented - at best. After five minutes Brian shoved the trick away and stuff his half hard cock back in his pants.

“Hey! I wasn’t finished.”

“Neither was I,” Brian retorted. So much for that one. He buttoned up his shirt and tucked it into his jeans and retreated to the bar. He had to get Taylor off his mind.

~~~  
Justin stared at the shot glasses lined up on the bar. This would be number four. He took a look at the Amber liquid - he’d always said tequila was his drink. He downed another one, gasping as the liquor trailed fire down his throat.  
The tall, handsome black man beside him handed him a lime wedge neatly presented on a cocktail napkin.  
Justin smiled as he took the wedge and bit into it. He winced at the sour, and choked out a “thanks”.  
~~~~  
“Fred or Barney?” Ted asked.  
“Oh, Fred - he’s a total bear! But Barney’s kind of funny.” Emmett took a drink from his cosmo. “I don’t know... he’s a sweet little guy with his shaggy blond hair and cute little smile.”  
Emmett’s last few words caught Brian’s attention. He stopped scanning the floor for a more satisfactory trick and focused his attention on his friends. 

“I’d have to say Fred over Barney.” Ted replied

 _Why do I surround myself with idiots?_ Brian thought.

Michael and Ben returned from the dance floor glowing with sweat. Ben had removed his shirt and Mikey was temporarily star struck by his lover’s physique.

“Hey!” Michael smiled at the gang.

“Hey!” Ted nodded back.

“Mikey, Ben.” Brian nodded.

“ooh! just the people we need!” Emmett enthused. “Ted and I have been playing a round of ‘which one’?”

“Which one - what?” Michael asked confused.

“Which one would you do?” Emmett returned.

“Yeah, you know, if you were on a desert island.” Ted tried to clarify. “I said Fred, Emmett initially said Fred, but then he was extolling the virtues of Barney. How about you? Ben? Michael?”

“Probably Fred.” 

“Definitely Barney.”

Ben and Michael answered at once, then laughed like it was some great joke. 

“What about you Brian?” Ted asked.

Brian rolled his eyes. “I prefer my options to be a bit more human and less cartoonish.”

“Oh really?” Emmett raised his eyebrows. “Okay then, how about tall, dark and handsome or short, blond and brooding?”

“Huh?” Ted was clueless as to what Emmett was talking about.

Emmett raised his pinky from stem of his cosmo and pointed in the direction of the bar opposite where the gang was standing. Justin was downing shots, looking dejected, while a tall, handsome, black man solicitously curried to his every favor.

Brian zeroed in on the couple. _Well, well, well. The ubiquitous Justin Taylor, in the flesh._

“Brian?” Michael eyed him suspiciously.

Brian knew to throw off the scent. “Tall, dark and handsome - definitely.”

“You sound as if you speak from experience.” Ted retort was snide.

“Dijon? Yeah, he’s a first class fuck. And you get frequent flier miles. Definitely the perfect man for a _layover_.”

“Really.” Emmet raised his eyebrows and sucked the remainder of his cosmo out of his glass. “Well, boys, I’m off to catch a flight!” Emmett crossed to the bar where Dijon was.

Brian saw this as an opportunity. “Later,” he called out as he pushed himself away from the bar.  
~~~~~~  
The tall, black man had disappeared. Justin frowned into the shot glass in front of him. He’d made a neat little pyramid stacking the six previous glassed atop one another into a triangle. _Just call me I. M. Pei!_ he chuckled to himself, but it sounded more like a bit of a giggle to man approaching.

Brian considered the younger man in front of him. Justin Taylor looked good even when he was drunk.  
Justin was trying to figure out what to do with the seventh shot glass. The six stacked so nicely and neatly into a pyramid. The seventh wasn’t working. He frowned in concentration.

“Problem?” Brian asked.

Justin didn’t look up, but frowned even more. “The seventh shot screws with the syma... symer... symme...” Justin licked his lips. “It doesn’t go.”

“Drowning your sorrows?”

“Just having a drink.” Justin defended as he placed the seventh shot glass right side up on the top most upside down shot glass. He smiled triumphantly at Brian.

“Pleased with yourself?”

“Absolutely.”

“You know, if I saw someone with seven empty shot glasses in front of him, I might think that the guy was unhappy, maybe trying to forget someone who broke his heart.”

Justin glared at him.

“But then I look at you and say to myself. Not him - he has a _boyfriend_.” The last word left Brian’s lips with a sneer.

Justin narrowed his eyes at Brian. “You’re so damned supa... super... supercil... smug!”

“What’s the matter, sunshine? Did he forget to raise the toilet seat?”

“Look, why don’t you just leave me alone?” Justin was too tired and just drunk enough to know he didn’t want to have _this_ conversation with _this_ man. “Besides, you wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m crushed.”

“Fuck you!”

“We tried that last night, you weren’t interested. Changed your mind?”

Justin glared at him. This is what it all came down to. If Ethan and Brian were to be believed, it was _just a fuck_. Well... well? Why not? Why, the fuck, not? “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always reviews, comments are welcome (appreciated, encouraged, begged for...)


	4. A Learning Experience

Brian looked at Justin incredulously. It couldn’t possibly be this easy. What the fuck went on between last night and tonight?

_He must be waiting on me_ Justin finally decided. He got up from the barstool, a little unsteady on his feet, and headed toward the back room.

Brian snagged a belt loop from the back of Justin’s jeans as the younger man crossed in front of him. “Whoa there fella.”

Justin rolled his head back on his shoulder and looked at Brian sideways and a bit upside down. “Huh?”

“I think tonight’s performance will be private.” Brian sidled up behind Justin and steered him toward the exit.

Justin shrugged. _Whatever._  
~~~~~~  
They left Babylon. 

Justin fell asleep in the car ride to the loft. Brian pulled into his parking space and looked at his passenger. 

“Justin.”

“mhmmph?”

“Justin.” Brian shook the blond’s shoulder.

“I am I.M!”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake.” Brian muttered. “Justin!”

“ermhpn.” Justin turned toward Brian, and curled tightly into a ball. His mouth was shut and his nose wheezed a little as he breathed. He was dead asleep.

Shit. Brian didn’t mind fucking someone who was drunk or high, but he drew the line at fucking the dead. It would serve the twink right if he just left him in the car. 

“I can’t believe this,” Brian sighed in resignation as he slung Justin over his shoulder. He somehow managed to get up to the loft and into the bedroom. He dumped Justin onto the bed. 

Justin yawned, turned over and buried his face in Brian’s 800 fill hypo-allergenic down pillows. Arms and legs flung wide, somehow Justin had managed to stretch nearly the entire length and width of the king sized bed.

Brian shook his head. “For someone not quite that big, you sure do know how to take up a lot of space.” Brian decided to take a shower before tackling his overnight guest.  
~~~~~  
The sun filtering in the tall loft windows brought Justin to the surface. His head was a little muzzy, but at least he wasn’t hung over. He glanced around trying to get his bearings.  
No Ethan - not the apartment.   
No Daphe - not her place either.   
Justin tried to focus on the outline of the white sofa beyond the shuttered wall that separated the bedroom from the rest of the loft space. Was that a Mies van der Roe coffee table? _Shit Justin, if you had to pick a place to crash, at least you did it in style._

He stretched, pushing back the sheet and duvet covering his body. His cock was in a half-mast hard-on state tenting his boxers.

“I’ll take care of that for you...”

Justin was shocked to see Brian Kinney reaching around his body, pushing down his boxers, and deftly engulfing his morning wood. Before a protest could pass his lips, the sensation of warm velvet wet blinded him to all else.

Justin fell back on the bed awash in sensations he’d never before felt. Granted he’d really didn’t have all that much experience with blow jobs. A few in high school when he fooled around with guys who were experimenting. Some awkward encounters in his early days at PIFA. Ethan wasn’t one for sucking him off. The few times they’d tried, Ethan’s gag reflex ended things quickly. Justin remembered the pain of teeth marks too.

“Hey!” Brian jolted him out of his reminiscences. “I’m working here.” Gold flecked eyes stared up into blue ones from Justin’s lap.

“Sorry!” Justin didn’t know what the protocol was in a situation like this.

“Look, we can forget all about this...”

“No!” The words burst out before Justin could stop them. “I swear! I promise... look! I’m focusing on you, all my attention’s on you.”

“That’s more like it.” Brian, a small smile tugging at his lips, returned to the task at hand.

Justin moaned. If this is what sex was supposed to feel like, no wonder Ethan thought he was frigid. He’d never felt anything remotely like this with the musician.

Brian engulfed him body and soul. With tongue - Brian swept up and down his length. With teeth - the lightest of grazes setting shivers down his spine. With hands - stroking his length, massaging his balls, his fingers sifting through golden hairs and exploring the sensitive folds of his skin. Every touch and stroke of Brian's set off tingles of sensations that reverberated throughout Justin’s body.

Brian wasn’t disappointed either. He was pleasantly surprised by Justin’s package. When he’d undressed the young man last night, he’d not paid it much attention. But the morning had certainly revealed a treat. Brian had always been a size queen. Rather odd when he thought about it as he was, after all, the ultimate top. But a large cock was a thing of beauty, and Justin was duly blessed with more than what one would imagine for a man of his stature. Fully aroused he rivaled Brian - perhaps not in length, but certainly in girth.

Justin groaned long and hard as Brian’s tongue reached out to flick the moisture weeping from Justin’s slit. 

“Brian!”

Brian looked up. Justin’s neck was extended back, his eyes slits in a sensual haze, his strawberry lips parted slightly, his breath came in little pants and his pink tongue darted out the side. 

“Guh!”

Brian smiled up at Justin. The boy took direction well, once his head was fully in the game. Brian could feel the balls in his hand tighten. He plunged down one final time, taking Justin deep in his throat as he felt the orgasm rolled though the younger man’s body. The aftershocks reverberated for several minutes longer.

Brian moved up Justin’s body, lightly kissing a trail to the younger man’s mouth where he shared Justin’s taste with him. Rather than be put off by the slightly salty and musky flavor, Justin gave himself over to Brian’s kiss. The kiss was soft and sensuous. Unhurried. And unnerving in many ways.

Different. It was different; everything so different. Brian's kiss on his lips, Brian’s lips on his cock. So unlike anything he’d done, no, unlike anything he’d ever felt with Ethan. The constant comparisons were probably normal - Justin didn’t have much else to compare it to. But it all felt so ridiculous. How does one compare the silk purse with the sow’s ear?

Brian pulled back, Justin raised his head from the pillow, his lips following Brian’s. He whimpered discontentment at the separation. Brian rutted against Justin's leg.

“Your turn.”

Justin’s eyes blinked open in panic and he froze.


	5. A Mouthful

Brian looked at Justin. “Is there a problem?”

“N-nooooo...,” Justin's hesitation made a lie of his response. He bit his lip and eyed Brian’s rather impressive equipment. 

Brian raised his eyebrows and stared pointedly at Justin as if to say _’well?’_

“Um, no. No problem at all.” Justin voice held more self confidence than he felt. He re-situated himself on the bed, kneeling down toward Brian’s lap. He and stopped and sat so that the back of his thighs rested on his calves. He looked up into Brian’s expectant stare. “It’s just that...” he trailed off.

“Just what?” Brian was getting a bit impatient.

“Well, Ihaven’treallydonethisthatmuchandI’mjustnotreallygoodatit.” The words came out in a rush.

“Fucking teenagers.” Brian muttered, but loud enough that Justin heard it.

“I’m not a teenager!” Justin protested indignantly. “I’ll be twenty-one on my next birthday.”

“Oh, and when is that?” sarcasm dripped from each word.

“Er, in nine months.” Justin answered contritely.

Brian rolled his eyes. He started to get up from the bed.

“Wait!” Justin moved to put a hand on Brian’s waist, inadvertently grazing Brian’s now flagging erection.

Brian leaned back. “Look, I’m not going to beg you to do something you obviously don’t enjoy and profess to have no talent for.”

“Please?” Justin looked searchingly into Brian’s eyes. “It’s just that Eth... my boyfriend says I’m not good at it... and it kinda hurts.” But Brian had shown him that it could feel good and he wanted to try it.

“Hurts? Him or you?”

“Me. He kinda... I don’t know he kinda pushes hard and smooshes my nose. I can’t breathe and it aggravates my asthma. But I never knew that it could be good - you know like what you did. I’d like to try... I mean, if you’d let me.”

Brian had to hand it to the kid, he had balls. He obviously had a rather inept boyfriend. Brian leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes. “Have at it!”

When after a minute or so, he still didn’t feel anything, he cracked open an eye. Justin was studying his dick like it was some sort of puzzle. He looked at it this way and that. Brian supposed he was trying to figure out the best way to approach it.

“Relax.” Brian said, trying to calm the kid. Of course, Brian’s voice had had the opposite effect, startling Justin and making him more anxious.

Brian reached for Justin’s hands, and taking them in his own he rubbed slow steady circles along each finger. Once Justin’s hands stopped fidgeting, Brian moved his fingertips up Justin’s arms. Soon the younger man was splayed across his chest.

“Feel good?” Brian asked.

Justin nodded against Brain’s chest. It did feel good.

“Ready to move on?”

Justin looked up into Brian’s eyes - mere inches from his own. He nodded and began with a to kiss Brian’s chin. It was the lightest of kisses, then more feather-light kisses followed glancing along the jaw line.

“Good.” Brian groaned. 

Justin wasn’t sure if he was responding to his ministrations or affirmative nod.

Brian’s eyes were heavy lidded and Justin took the faint smile that graced his lips to be a good sign. Justin was also pleased to note that Brian’s arousal was returning lifting the resplendent organ higher along his stomach.

Boosted a bit by the assurance that Brian was enjoying what he was doing, Justin trailed kisses along Brian’s chest. Brian murmured in appreciation and Justin continued to move lower. His ear accidentally brushed against Brian’s nipple and Justin immediately felt the sensitive tip stiffen. Turning to examine the nub, Justin licked his lips making inadvertent contact with it.

Brian groaned in obvious pleasure.

_This is good!_ Justin decided that he’d spend a bit more time and attention here where Brian was enjoying his efforts. He flicked his tongue out to tease the stiffening tip. 

Brian’s back arched in response lifting his body from the mattress. The sound that escaped his lips was low and earthy.

_Christ!_ had the kid been living under a rock? Where did he get the idea that he wasn’t good at this? Justin’s studied efforts were driving him crazy. 

Justin moved to the other side of Brain’s chest and concentrated on the crest of the companion there. Whatever he was doing, he was doing it right. Brian was responding with sounds and movement in a manner Justin had not seen before with the few partners he had had. He redoubled his efforts.

Brian could feel the moisture leaking from his dick. If Justin didn’t get down there fast, he was going to embarrass himself. But then Justin fastened hard onto his nipple and sucked. His body arched in response and Brian didn’t care if he was embarrassed.

Brian’s erection began to poke more insistently at Justin’s hip, reminding him of the task he was supposed to be working on. He supposed he should be focusing his attention there, but dammit, he didn’t want to be rushed. For the first time... well, ever he was _really_ enjoying himself in bed. With his previous partners there hadn’t been the willingness to go slow and savor the moment. And Brian... well, Brian allowed him - no not allowed him, encouraged him - Brian encouraged him to explore, seek out sensation, experiment, all without censure or criticism. Before Justin had always felt put upon, like he was being made to feel subservient. But with Brian, he felt a power. Here Justin was in control setting the scene, setting the pace.

Mouth open, Justin walked his lips down Brian’s chest toward his navel. His tongue left a wet trail.

Brian shivered as hot moisture transformed into teasing cold where Justin’s mouth once had been. Then Justin’s talented tongue darted into his navel and he lost his thoughts.

Brian smelled so good. Justin’s nose rubbed across the skin of Brian’s taut stomach. And he tasted even better; Justin licked the flesh that covered Brian’s abs. He took his time, but he knew the real prize was waiting for him just out of his mouth’s reach. 

Warm moisture on his cheek made Justin turn and face the object of this exercise. Brian was so large, for a moment he faltered. But the temptation of Brian’s cock was greater than the fear of failure. Justin let out a little breath and moved his lips hesitantly to make contact with the slicked mushroom head.

At the unexpected contact Brian’s breath caught, causing his lungs to fill, lifting his chest from the mattress. Justin swirled along the rim of Brian’s sensitive head and Brian expelled small staccato huffs of air. All feeling concentrated in his loins as Justin held him firmly and engulfed him. 

The warm wet of Justin’s mouth slicked his shaft, easing the up and down movement of Justin as he sucked. Brian reached down to bury his hands in Justin’s cornsilk hair, then easing back to feather the strands lightly.

Justin’s entire concentration was on the stiff dick in his mouth. He wanted to devour Brian. He felt Brian’s hands grab hold of his hair and almost stopped his movement thinking he might be doing something wrong. But the hands retreated and gentle fingers played with his hair keeping the lightest of contacts, causing a tingle down Justin’s spine. Encouraged, Justin continued.

Brian was enthralled. Of late blow jobs had less to do with stimulation and satisfaction and more to do with just blowing his load. Getting off was more a way of releasing stress, like a pressure valve. Most of the tricks he met up with in the back room of Babylon were more interested in getting to the main event, they didn’t bother to take the time to explore the pleasure of slow sucking.

Justin was an entire other story. His studied efforts may lack the finesse of experience, but his quiet concentration was taking Brian to a place he’d sorely been missing. Brian loved cock, and his own in particular. He loved to have it worshipped and adored in the manner that Justin was demonstrating.

Justin adjusted his position and firmly held Brian in his hand as his mouth once again captured Brian’s shaft. He desperately tried to remember what Brian had done to make him feel so good when their circumstances had been reversed. But the warm, wet cock in his mouth made it difficult to concentrate. His tongue circled and swiped at the head. Brian was so sensitive there Justin could feel his every response. He stopped worrying and just went with the flow. He could feel himself getting aroused and unknowingly began to rut against Brian’s leg in rhythm to his sucking strokes on Brian’s cock.

A slight change in Justin’s technique proved the breaking point for Brian. 

“Close, so close... Now!.... ahhhhh!”

Keeping his pace as the aftershocks of Brian’s orgasm rolled through the hazel eyed beauty’s body, Justin sucked furiously ensuring that there wasn’t a drop wasted. So wrapped up in his concentration, he failed to notice that he himself had spontaneously climaxed against Brian’s leg.

Justin looked up from Brian’s lap to his beautiful face. Breaths coming hard and fast then slower like a top winding down. The look of blatant satisfaction ensured Justin of his success. A smile crossed his lips.

Brian could feel the upward curve of Justin’s lips as they rested near edge of his hip. He willed his eyes open and saw Justin’s happy face.

“Come here.” He commanded softly, encouraging the blond to move up his body. Brian brushed back a few errant strands of damp golden hair, before bringing Justin’s lips to his. Brian closed his eyes and in sated satisfaction drifted lightly off to sleep.


	6. More

Brian doze for a short while. Justin didn’t sleep, but rather just lay there, head on Brian’s chest pondering the morning’s events. He should probably get up. He thought back with embarrassment at how he had spontaneously come on Brian’s leg. He had been so into the blow job, his whole body thrummed with desire. He needed to clean up the stickiness of the dried cum from Brian’s leg.

Brian felt Justin shift and move to the side of the bed.

“Going somewhere?” Brian propped himself on his elbows as he watched Justin stand. Justin’s body still had a boyish air about it. Not hard and cut like the rats that trolled the gym. But underneath the deceptively youthful appearance his muscle was toned. His pale skin was luminescent in the soft glow of the lights above the bed’s headboard and the sunlight that filtered in from the street.

“To the bathroom.”

Brian leaned back against the pillow. He listened to the flush of the toilet and running water of the sink. 

Justin reappeared framed in the doorway holding a towel. He crossed to the bed and moved the sheet aside. 

Brian watched in amazement as the blond lightly stroke the damp cloth over his leg where Justin’s come had dried. _Polite little trick_.

Justin finished his task of cleaning and returned to the bathroom. After a few minutes Brian heard the shower turn on. Rising from the mattress, Brian padded into the bathroom.

Justin was in the shower, his back to Brian giving the older man an unobstructed view of his incredible ass. Brian’s tongue darted out and wet his lips, though the older man was entirely oblivious to it.

Brian crossed to the shower, opened the glass door and stepped inside.

Justin had been lost in happy thoughts. He felt good, strong, in control. His eyes shut, as he stood under the spray of the shower and let the water beat down upon him. A draft up his back startled him out of his revelry, he turned and was face to chest with Brian. He craned his head up and questioningly arched an eyebrow.

Brian looked back at him like it was the most normal thing in the world for them to be sharing a shower. Indeed, he grabbed a bar of soap, spun Justin around and began soaping his back.

_Ahhhhh..._ Justin sighed silently and gave himself over to the strong fingers that massaged his back and neck.

Brian concentrated on soaping Justin’s arms, legs, back and chest. By the time he got to the point of washing Justin’s hair, Justin was loose and languid. Leaning back against Brian, Justin feared he might dissolve into a puddle at the floor of the shower and wash away down the drain with the soap and shampoo.

Brian rubbed back against the younger man, and the two began a dance of sorts. Their bodies rubbed together eliciting responses, arousing dormant fires. Brian reached around and took Justin in his hand, pumping slow and rhythmically. Justin’s head fell back against Brian’s shoulder. His mouth opened in a silent sigh of satisfaction. Brian nuzzled Justin’s neck and reached for a condom from the shelf tucked back in the tile wall.

The tear of the condom wrapper was loud in Justin’s ear. Brian’s spit the strip of metallic paper from his mouth to the floor of the shower. He shifted and sheathed himself. His hand splayed Justin’s ample ass cheeks and he nudged against crease that separated the halves of Justin’s body.

Justin stiffened.

_Christ! Not again._ Brian sighed and set his chin on Justin’s shoulders.

“Don’t tell me. You don’t fuck. You’re part of a gay cult that is saving themselves for marriage.”

Justin chuckled and the joke helped reduce his anxiety. “No, we... I fuck. It’s just that I’ve never done it in the shower. I mean what if I slip? Can we... can we try it on the bed? At least for the first time?”

Brian shook his head and chuckled. This kid was full of surprises. He could see that there’d be some firsts for both of them.

After exiting the shower, Brian grabbed a towel and began to briskly rub Justin dry. Justin stood rather awkwardly and let Brian towel him dry.

Once Justin was dried to Brian’s satisfaction, he led the younger man to the bed. Justin felt a bit uncomfortable. Maybe they should have just stayed in the shower, there he had been relaxed and Brian’s hands upon him didn’t make him jumpy.

Justin lay on his stomach and buried his head in a pillow. He screwed his eyes shut and waited for the pain.

Brian observed the bit of drama unfolding before him with curiosity. Justin looked like he was steeling himself to be hurt. What kind of fucked up relationship did he have with his boyfriend that the kid would endure what he was obviously uncomfortable and unsatisfactory?

Brian ran a finger lightly up Justin’s spine. At first touch, Justin startled. But once it became obvious that it was only a light caress, Brian could feel the younger man relax. Tentatively, Brian moved so his lips caressed Justin’s shoulders.

Brian’s touch and lips were soothing rather than hurtful. Justin sighed. It was going to be okay. At this point he should well know that anything Brian would do to his body would not result in pain and humiliation. Brian’s lips soothed and Justin’s muscles relaxed.

Brian felt the change in Justin’s body. He licked his lips, and moistened his tongue. He began a fine, wet trail down Justin’s back, allowing saliva to glaze the pale skin that covered each vertebrae. 

Justin shivered as the moist path cooled and heated lips moved lower. Brian massaged his globes of his ass. Justin tensed then willed himself to relax. So far Brian had only made him feel pleasure. He closed his eyes and told himself it would be all right. 

Brian’s lips rested just above the dividing point. His palm ran circles on each globe and he felt the slight tenseness give way to languid acquiescence. He lightly ran his tongue down the narrow fissure to the deepening point where the pale skin gave way to pink and darker.

Justin’s eyes flew open. _Oh. My. God!_ Justin wasn’t stupid, he knew about rimming - he was gay, and besides he’d gotten 1500 on his SATs - but he’d never experienced it. Ethan was always wanting him to do it, but Justin just couldn’t see himself putting his mouth... well... there. Ethan didn’t always put a priority on personal hygiene.

Of course, Brian had made certain that Justin was clean from head to toe, so technically, that argument didn’t seem paramount. He certainly was enjoying what Brian was doing, he just wasn’t prepared for what it made him feel. He felt like he was flying.

_Oh my God! What if he wants me to do it back to him?_

Brian grinned a bit as he went about delving between Justin’s cheeks. The boy was a strange combination of eager anxiety. Brian could feel him tense up and then relax, like an ocean wave rolling in and then receding. Brian concentrated on tonging the tight hole and the sensitive area between the puckered skin and Justin’s balls. He moved back and forth drenching the are in saliva and spit. Each lick of his lips, each trail of his tongue he could feel Justin loosening. Finally, Brian contracted the muscles in his tongue and darted down Justin’s hole.

“Brian!” Justin clenched the pillow he was holding to his chest and came against the sheets. “Oh shit!” the words a dejected oath.

Brian looked up to see Justin lift his hips and frown in reddened embarrassment.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll clean it up.”

“Justin...”

“... just let me get up and I’ll take care of his.” Justin struggled a bit against Brian.

“Justin!”

Justin looked back over his shoulder at Brian who was now raised on his knees.

“...but...”

“It’s just sex. It’s supposed to be messy”. Brian looked down at the younger man. “Don’t make more out of it than what it is.” 

Justin lay back down and waited.

What a drama queen full of contradictions this kid was turning out to be. Brian climbed to the side of the bed and rolled Justin over by the shoulders. Justin looked up in expectation and a little bit of fear.

_Oh my God! He *does* want me to do it to him! What am I going to do?_ Justin figured that etiquette - in a weird way - dictated that he should reciprocate.

Brian watched Justin’s face as horror, resignation, and finally, determination flashed across the younger man’s features. Justin moved to the position Brian had held.

“Uh-uh.” Brian shook his head. “I think that is enough for the time being. We can come back to it later, if you like. I believe it’s time for the main event.”

Justin plopped onto his back and looked up at Brian in expectation. 

“So Sunshine, are you a top or a bottom?” Brian knew that bubble butt wasn’t going to waste today, but he figured he’d see what the kid imaged himself.

“Well, I guess you could say I’m ambidextrous. I like to top, but Eth... my boyfriend doesn’t usually let me. Of late, I’ve pretty much become a bottom.”

Brian stuck his tongue in his cheek. “Why mess with a good thing?”

“It isn’t all that good.” Justin muttered.

“What’s that?” Brian heard every word, but wanted to see if Justin would say anything further.

“Nothing.” He moved to roll onto his stomach.

“Uh-uh Sonny Boy. Face to face. I want to see you when you come.”

Justin shrugged and moved to his back. 

Brian insinuated himself between Justin’s spread thighs, kneeling, running his hands along Justin’s legs. He began to fist Justin’s cock. He watched the younger man’s face as he regained his erection. “Fast recovery.”

Justin’s face pinkened but he grinned all the same.

Brian reached for a condom and lube from the nightside table. Smiling he handed Justin.

“Put it on me.” 

While Justin concentrated rolling the condom on Brian’s erection, Brian portioned out some lube and warmed it between his fingers. Justin’s task finished, Brian liberally lubed the latex before moving his hands between himself and Justin. Brian began with small circles.

“Ah! it’s cold.” Justin gave a short laugh.

Brian smiled, “It’ll warm up.” His fingers ran circles around Justin’s hole. Justin bent his knees and raised his ass a bit to give Brian better access. Brian moved to insert one finger, then another scissoring them back and forth in an effort to loosen Justin up. Justin raised his hips and Brian took that as a ready sign. 

Brian moved his hands to massage the muscles of Justin’s thighs as he positioned himself against Justin. Watching Justin’s face closely for any sign of pain or discomfort, he moved against the younger man’s hole and gained entry.

Justin tensed a bit at the intrusion. “You’re so big.”

“Relax, push back.” Brian massaged the muscles of Justin’s stomach. “Keep breathing.”

Justin laughed a little and let out the breath that he’d been holding.

Slowly, Brian pushed deeper until he felt Justin’s body loosen and accept him. He pushed deeper, monitoring Justin’s face for signs of discomfort. He wondered when he’d become so interested what his partner was experiencing. He usually focused on himself. It may be arrogant, but he knew if he was satisfied, his partner would be as well. After all, he made sure they came first, even if they didn’t come first in his list of priorities.

But with Justin, it somehow was different. He bent down to graze Justin’s neck with his lips. He pushed deeper. He watched as eyelids heavy in a sensual haze fluttered. He pushed deeper. He leaned in to kiss strawberry lips, running a tongue along their seam and gaining entrance. He pulled back and thrust deep. Justin keened in response. Brian watched. 

He wanted to see every emotion on the younger man’s face. He wanted to watch him as he buried himself deep within the tight darkness. He wanted to watch as he grazed that sweet spot that would make Justin catch his breath. He wanted to watch Justin come. Because he knew at that moment when those blue eyes flew open he knew what he’d see. And he would be god.


	7. Just a Trick

“And just where the hell have you been?” Daphne opened the door and stood with her hands on her hips.

Justin grinned at her, he couldn’t help it. He felt great, and Daphne’s imitation of a fishwife wasn’t going to change it.

“I’ve been fucking my brains out!” Justin whirled into the room and collapsed onto the couch.

“Omigawd! You have to tell me all about it. Wait! You have to call your mother first. She called you at the apartment and Ethan told her you don’t live there anymore.”

This news wiped the smile off Justin’s face. _Shit_.

“He really did that?”

“Yes. Then your mom tried your cell, but it went to voicemail. Same happened when I called your cell.”

Justin pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “Damn, the battery’s dead. I left the charger at the apartment.”

“The one where you don’t live anymore?”

“I don’t understand it. He’s the one who was cheating, now he’s the one who’s mad?”

Daphne held her tongue. 

“I better call mom and get this over with. But the first thing she’s going to want is for me to move back to the townhouse with her and Molly. Shit.”

“You can stay here. You know you’re always welcome.” Daphne handed Justin her portable phone.

“Thanks, better get this over with.” He dialed and waited for his mother to pick up.

“No mom, I’m fine... Ethan’s over-dramatizing this... We need to take a little time away from each other for the moment... No, I’m staying with Daphne... Yes, I know I’m always welcome to stay with you... yes, at home... I’m sure... I will... I love you. Give Molly a hug for me. Bye.” Justin turned to Daphne. “Mom says hi and thanks for getting her errant son to call her back.”

“That’s what I’m here for. So what did you mean you’ve been fucking your brains out?”

“Oh Daphne, let me tell you about it...” And Justin did just that.

“So! Are you going to see him again?” _Can we finally say adios to the fiddler?_ Daphne hoped that Justin might be moving on.  
“No. He’s got this really firm no repeats policy. It’s like carved in stone.”

“But if it was so great wouldn’t he want to do it again?”

“That’s just it Daph. It was Brian; he was what was so great about it. He gets to be like that all the time. He doesn’t need me. If only I could be like that.”

Daphne frowned. Why didn’t Justin give himself even the smallest amount of credit.

“That’s it!”

“I missed something.”

“That’s it! I need to be like Brian Kinney.”

“O-kay.” Daphne breathed out slowly.

“Don’t you get it Daph? If I were like Brian Kinney, I wouldn’t have these problems with Ethan.”

“If you were Brian Kinney you wouldn’t bother with Ethan.” Daphne muttered under her breath.

“I need to figure out how to be more like Brian. I’d ask him to teach me, but he has that one time rule. I learned a lot my one time!”

“You could always follow him around and take notes.” Daphne said sarcastically.

“What a great idea!” Her snide comment completely lost on him.

Justin jumped up from the sofa and started pacing the room. “I can go and observe him and watch how he behaves. See what he does, how he does it. I can learn everything from him and then I can use it to get Ethan back.”  
_Nooooooo!_ Daphne buried her head in her hands.

~~~~~  
“He’s back.” Emmett looked across the room.

“That’s like the third time this week.” Ted looked. Sure enough the twink was sitting about six barstools away from where he, Emmett, Michael, Ben and Brian were.

“I wonder who he is?” Emmett spoke to no one in particular.

Brian looked up, saw Justin down the row of barstools, smiled at him and went back to his beer. “That’s Justin, he spent the night on Saturday.”

Emmett nodded sagely, like that explained everything.

“That’s the trick who made you late for dinner at Ma’s?” Michael was stunned. Since when did Brian Kinney remember tricks’ names?

Brian made a bit of a wrinkled nose. “He wasn’t really a trick. More like an overnight guest.”

“Well, he’s stalking you.”

“Leave it alone Mikey, he’s not harming anyone... He’s kinda sweet.”

Justin had asked if they could see each other again when Justin had left the loft Sunday afternoon. Brian had made sure that he was clearly understood when it came to his no repeats policy. Justin seemed to understand.  
However, this was the third night this week that Justin had shown up when Brian was out with the guys. The blond usually kept to himself, to the point of turning down the many offers that came his way. He kept a reasonable distance from Brian, didn't try to engage the older man in conversation. He didn’t try to insinuate himself into what Brian and his friends were doing. He was just there. Brian didn't try to analyze why he felt comfortable with that.

“Well, let’s leave him here, it’s time to go to Babylon anyway.” Michael was anxious to leave the twink behind.  
~~~~  
Ted and Emmett were at the bar having a drink when Justin arrived. Brian was in the back room with his first trick of he night and Ben and Michael were on the dance floor.

“Stalker alert.” Ted nodded in the direction of the chains that separated the main dance floor from the entrance to the club.

“You know, Brian’s right, he is kinda sweet. He just makes you want to take him home.”

Ted snorted. “He went home with Brian, he’s a bottom.”

“A boy can dream...”

~~~~~

Justin took his place down the bar from Ted and Emmett. He knew their names now. Justin was a student; and when not consumed with his studies at PIFA, Justin had made a study of Brian Kinney. 

In the past week, Justin had assembled a fairly impressive portfolio of Brian Kinney information. He knew where he worked. He’d learned where he played (and he played quite a bit). Who he hung out with. He would have said who Brian's friends were, but with Brian it wasn’t that easy. The only true ‘friend’ he seemed to acknowledge was Michael Novotny. The rest appeared to be more like hangers on that he tolerated. Justin figured that Brian must care, in his own way, about these others too - Emmett, Ted, Ben - because Brian Kinney didn’t suffer fools gladly. 

People seemed to fall into two camps with Brian - they liked him or they hated him. When it came to Brian, people weren’t indifferent. Of the folks who hated him, they easily were categorized. First were those who Brian didn’t deem worthy of a fuck. Unhappy to be turned down, they massaged their bruised egos by bad mouthing the man. Next were the one’s he had fucked who thought he was an asshole. Justin had to admit that their stories of dismissal and being turned down for seconds seem to add to the asshole image. Brian was in demand he didn’t need to curry to people’s egos. Still, after listening to these folks and their stories, Justin knew that Brian had treated him a lot less callously. Finally, there were the folks who were jealous of Brian Kinney - the man, the myth, the - fucking - legend. No two ways about it, Brian was handsome, successful and lived life on his own terms.

Brian appeared at the door of the back room and crossed to the bar where Ted and Emmett were. With an upward nod of his chin and a ‘hey’, he ordered a beer and leaned back against the bar. He listened half heartedly while Ted and Emmett chatted inanely about things he couldn’t give a shit about and scanned the room for his next trick. His eyes kept coming back to the end of the bar where Justin stood quietly.

It was a free world, the kid was welcome to come and go where he pleased. 

Throughout the week Brian would find himself thinking about Justin and their time together. He be in the middle of a meeting bored out of his mind then _bam!_ one Justin Taylor would invade his thoughts. God help him, he'd even caugth himself smiling. Having Justin appear throughout the week wherever Brian was made it easy to rationalize that he [Brian] wasn’t obsessing about a past trick. It was simply that because the blond was there that Brian thought about him - when he wasn’t there it would be ‘out of sight, out of mind’. 

Brian continued his search for the next acceptable trick. His eyes kept coming back to Justin. He shifted slightly so that Justin was out of his range of vision. There, that one would do nicely. Brian moved to the dance floor and whispered in the ear of a beefy, brown haired man. And they were off to the back room. 

Justin waited a minute, then as nonchalantly as possible crossed to the back room and disappeared through the entrance.

“What do you suppose that’s about?” Emmett mused.

Ted who’d been looking the other way replied, “huh?”

“Brian’s blond devotee just followed him into the back room.”

“Interesting.”

~~~~  
Brian leaned up against the cinderblock wall and closed his eyes. The beefy brown haired trick was only marginally better than the evening’s first trick. No imagination here, just suck and bob. Brian’s hand came around trick’s head to meter the movement. 

Brian’s thoughts wandered to another person who’d sucked him. Soft blond hair that tickled his hips, brilliant blue eyes as they watch his face for every reaction. Brian’s eye’s flew open. _Stop it!_ He looked down to see if the trick had noticed anything. He hadn’t - stroke, stroke, suck, suck. 

Brian leaned back again and, under hooded eyes, swept the low lit chamber. The back room was busy tonight. Lots of fucking and sucking by the usual suspects. A glint of golden hair caught his eye. Justin stood perfectly still up against a beam. He was sideways to where Brian leaned against the cool cinder block. He looked to be almost hiding as he watched the trick and Brian.

_You want to watch, Sonny Boy?_

Brian turned his concentration to the trick. Directing activities, encouraging the trick by a hand to the head, a thrust of the hips - working harder than he normally would to get a better performance. A sweat broke his brow. Throughout the production he surreptitiously would glance over to where Justin stood.  
Until their eyes met. Brian gave up all pretense of not knowing Justin was there. In earnest, he began to fuck the tricks mouth. But he wasn’t fucking the trick, he was fucking Justin... and Justin knew it. His climax immanent, Brian closed his eyes and emptied his soul into the tricks mouth. 

A cough and sputter drew Brian’s attention to the trick who tried to swallow, but instead ended up drooling cum out his mouth. “Sorry,” the trick managed to get out.

Disgusted, Brian tucked himself up and zippered his jeans as the trick crawled away. Brian looked up to where Justin had stood, but he was gone. Better this way, probably.  
...  
Emmett had been watching the entrance to the back room as he and Ted chatted. Ben and Michael had joined them. He was sipping on a cosmo when Justin made his way to exit the playroom. He wasn’t running, but he was sure moving fast. He crossed to the dance floor and left the club. _Well, well, well..._

Brian emerged from the back room and joined the gang at the bar. Emmett noticed his frown.

“Things not go as planned?”

“I got bored.” Brian responded absently looking for Justin. His eyes darted from the dance floor to the gallery to the bar opposite. No Justin.

“I know. Getting your dick sucked is soooo tedious.” Brian wasn’t paying him any attention, so he took a chance and leaned in. “He left.” Brian didn’t acknowledge his words, but headed to the exit.

“Brian!” Michael called out.

“Later, Mikey.” He threw over his shoulder.  
...  
Justin stood in the alley trying to figure out what to do next. The night hadn’t gone as planned. He had just wanted to observe Brian. Figure out how he did what he did. Instead he found himself engaged in some weird mind transference fuck. Brian may have been physically fucking the trick, but Justin had felt every stroke of Brian’s cock in his mouth as if he were in the trick’s place.

 _Shit!_ He’d head back to Daphne’s. She was out for the evening. Maybe he’d go to bed early and think about something else than Brian Kinney and his amazing fucking talents. He turned toward the bus stop when someone grabbed his arm. He started.

“Going somewhere, sunshine?”

Brian’s voice made him relax minimally. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes - momentarily caught in the smell of the man.

Brian gave him a light shake. “I asked you a question.” There wasn’t anger in his voice, just calm steel.

“Just headed...” home? a bit lame on a friday night before midnight. “No place special.”

“I can change that.” Brian pulled Justin to his Jeep. He pushed Justin up against the door and thrust his tongue down the younger man’s throat. Justin gave a slight moan, in protest or pleasure, neither man was sure. As abruptly as the kiss had started, Brian cut it off. “Get in.”

Justin scrambled into the passenger seat and buckled up. “Where are we going?”

“Someplace that _is_ special.”

The rest of the drive was made in silence.

Brian parked and Justin followed him into the warehouse building, recognizing it as the location of the loft. They took the stairs in silence. Justin tryed to keep pace with Brian’s long, lean legs that took two stairs to Justin’s every one. Brian unlocked the door of the loft and entered the code to disable the alarm. 

Justin entered into the loft and crossed to the kitchen island, not knowing what would happen next. He cringed slightly when the _thud!_ of the loft door made him jump. It was if his fate had been sealed. He bolstered himself, turning he looked Brian in the eye. No words were exchanged.

Brian made his way towards the younger man, Justin met him half way. Then they fell into each other’s arms. Mouths devouring one another, fists grabbed at each others shirts tearing them off their bodies, palms sought skin. 

Justin’s fingers reached for the zipper of his pants before Brian’s hand slapped it away. 

“Mine!” Brian slid the zipper down and reached inside. Brian walked Justin backwards across the smooth hardwood toward the steps to the bedroom. Brian had worked Justin’s pants down his legs only to have them pool at his feet.

“Shoes!” 

Justin obediently toed off his sneakers. They lay in a tangle with Brian’s at the foot of the stairs.

“Bed!” Justin stepped out of his pants and scampered to the bed. 

Brian was like a panther stalking his prey as he slowly approached the bed. Jeans unbuttoned but still holding to his hips, he towered over the bed and it’s blond occupant. In a quick graceful movement, the jeans were gone and Brian was kneeling on the bed. 

Brian’s knees and arms confined Justin’s alabaster form. Brian’s eyes raked up and down the pale body, noting in appreciation the hardened cock that leaked profusely. 

Justin watched Brian in expectation. Brian’s head came down so that their noses almost touched. Justin could feel the warm moisture of Brian’s breath, he raised his head so that his lips might reach Brian’s. 

Brian pulled his head back a few inches, keeping lips out of reach. 

Justin moved toward Brian’s mouth again, only to have Brian pull to the side. The dance repeated itself a time or two more. Finally in frustration, Justin’s arm came up and he captured the back of Brian’s neck in his hand, burying his fingers in the soft chestnut hair and pulled down so that Brian’s lips made contact with his. Justin sighed contentedly as he leisurely explored Brian’s mouth.

Brian let Justin invade his mouth, encouraging, but not controlling the kiss. He slid to the bed and onto his back. Justin’s body followed so he lay on Brian’s chest, never losing contact with those wonderful lips.


	8. Denial

For a state, denial was a wonderful place to be.

Brian told himself that he was just completing unfinished business from Sunday. His time with Justin, had been interrupted when Michael called to remind Brian of his promise to be at Deb’s for dinner.

As for Justin, he told himself he was just getting close up research on Brian Kinney that would help him achieve his goal of winning back Ethan.

And as quickly as they rationalized why they were together at this time, in this place, it was forgotten. Lost in the moans and groans of lust and desire, neither man pondered very much what brought them to where they were now.

As enjoyable as it was, Brian had finally had enough of Justin’s sensual explorations. With a growl, Brian flipped Justin onto back momentarily stunning the younger man.  
Justin looked up at Brian, a smiling slowly steeling across his lips. 

Brian couldn’t help himself, he grinned back and attacked Justin’s neck. 

Justin closed his eyes and gave himself over to Brian’s talents. His breath became shallow, he felt a fever flash over his body where Brian’s lips travelled, where Brian’s hands wandered. His back arched as Brian hit a particularly sensitive spot. Brian’s hands came around his hips and clenched at globes of his ass, causing their hard cocks to grind together.

“Brian!”

A feral smile twitched on Brian’s lips. His fingers moved deeper in the crevice between Justin’s cheeks. Justin rubbed his body against Brian’s and he squirmed to let the tips of Brian’s fingers delve deeper. Brian took his time, massaging slow circles in the sensitive skin, slowly driving Justin insane. Brian’s each caress sent shivers down his spine. Finally, Justin gave up surrendering himself to Brian’s ministrations. 

Sensing that Justin was ready for more, Brian moved away from the sensitive hole to grab the lube from the table beside the bed. Justin whimpered and pushed his entire body closer to Brian not wanting to lose the contact for even the briefest of moments.

Brian ran his fingers back and forth to warm the viscous liquid before returning to the winking hole. Brian took his time rubbing his slicked digits around the folds of puckered skin, waiting for the exact moment when Justin could bear it no longer.

“Now! now!”

Brian buried two fingers deep... and Justin came. _Christ! the kid was sensitive_. 

Brian could feel Justin quake in response to his [Justin’s] own orgasm, his muscles contracting around Brian’s fingers. Brian held his fingers in place and waited for Justin to ride the wave before lightly stroking in and out. He brushed Justin’s prostate and heard the change in Justin’s breathing pattern.

“That!” Justin panted, shifting to relive the exquisite torture.

“This?” Brian teased, grazed the sensitive gland again.

Justin shuddered. “How...” Justin gasped. “How do you do that?”

Brian continued to lightly stroke in and out of Justin, lightly making contact with the delicate bundle of nerves that set Justin on fire. The younger man’s body struggled rising off the mattress with each wave of sensation.

“This?” Brian watched in fascination at Justin’s every response. Justin’s eyes shut tight and he bit his lip as another wave reverberated through his body. Brian rarely took the time to notice such small things. But Justin lured him; Brian wanted to study Justin’s every reaction to the stroke of his fingers.

Justin whimpered, a small keening noise escaping his lips and Brian smiled in satisfaction.

“Ready for more?” Brian leaned in close, his breath moist as he whispered breathlessly Justin’s ear. Justin closed his eyes, bit his lip and nodded.  
Brian removed his fingers and Justin cried at the loss. Quickly sheathing himself, Brian liberally lubing his latex coated cock. He moved to cover Justin, spreading the younger man’s legs and nudging his begging hole. He slipped in slowly but with little difficulty. Justin’s body, tight and warm, welcomed the intrusion. Justin clutched at Brian, his legs circling Brian’s back, his arms reaching up to make contact with Brian’s strong forearms.

Justin drew in a few short breaths before exhaling with a susurration of complete surrender. 

Brian set a rhythm and Justin followed. Starting slowly but increasing the pace with every stroke. He tormented Justin by building up then drawing back - each thrust deeper, closer, hotter, then pulling back a little making Justin’s body beg and follow. 

Brian was not immune either. Justin’s touch, his clutch was matched by a corresponding awareness in Brian’s body. A sheen of sweat slowly covered his skin adding moisture and heat to the sensation of Justin’s feverish touch. Finally at the edge, Brian reached between their bodies lightly running his hand along Justin’s shaft.   
Justin fell. No longer able to keep at bay all that had consumed him, and Brian followed him as they spun out of control downward to land together. With a cry, Brian fell to the side and onto the mattress. The room silent except for the heaving breaths as their bodies cooled and stilled.

After a few moments, Brian regrettably separated himself from Justin. Both men somewhat shattered at the jarring interruption ending the intimacy. Brian removed the condom and tying it off, discarded it. 

Justin made to move, to distance himself from the man who had made him felt more that ever before. It frightened him a bit that his body was so out of his control. 

Brian sensed Justin’s withdrawal, but he was unwilling to let him Justin go. He tugged Justin back against his frame. 

“Stay.” He commanded softly.

With only the barest of struggles, Justin settled back against Brian’s body. 

Brian lifted the sheet from their feet to cover their cooling bodies. He wrapped his arm around Justin and fell peacefully to sleep.

Justin lay silently in Brian’s arms. He was unsure of all that had happened and how his body had responded. He listened as Brian’s breathing slowed and became deep and even. The steady beat of Brian’s heart against his back soon hypnotized him and he joined Brian in slumber.

...  
Brian awoke a bit disoriented, but blond hair tickling his nose quickly clued him into who shared his bed. Last night had been a bit of a revelation. He had broken his no repeats policy - a first, since he had enacted the policy after graduating college. He had asked Justin to stay the night. By his own standards, he should be kicking the blond enigma out of his bed, his loft and wishing him good riddance. But the whole idea of brusquely pushing him out, shoving him away didn’t sit well. He didn’t want to think about it.

Justin stirred next to him and Brian decided a shower would make a comfortable diversion for his wayward thoughts.

“C’mon.” Brian pulled a still sleepy Justin from the bed and toward the bath. 

Justin stumbled a little and Brian caught him. Moving behind the younger man, he wrapped his arms around Justin and walked him to the shower stall. Reaching in, Brian adjusted the temperature and waited for the water to warm.

The water startled Justin and his eyes flew open, then he shut them tightly against the light of the bathroom fixtures.

Brian felt Justin’s startle and soothed him by soaping his back and arms.

“Something wake you up?”

“Yeah.”

Brian turned Justin around to soap his chest. He wasn’t quite sure why he enjoyed showering with Justin. His cock nudged up his leg. Okay, well, sure there was _that_. But it wasn’t like they hadn’t fucked anywhere else. Aside from the obvious, there was something that _wasn’t_ sexual about the shower. Sure there was all the bullshit imagery and meaning in literature and other forms of media about the meaning of water - purity, cleaning one’s soul, being born again. Or perhaps there was something to it. He did feel different with Justin as the water sluiced down their bodies - revitalized, invigorated.

He turned Justin around.

Justin looked up. A nudge of Brian's hips redirected his gaze. Unconsciously, the tip of his tongue sliped out to slick his lips. Seeking direction, a quirk of Brian's eyebrow told him everything he needed to know. Justin sank to his knees, trailing kisses down Brian's chest under the rain of the shower. 

Justin was drying off when he built up the courage to ask - to Brian’s back - “So how did you learn everything?”

Brian was shaving, he caught Justin’s eye in the mirror. “Everything... what?”

Justin swallowed, pinned by those hazel eyes, “You know, the sex stuff. You’re really good at it.” Justin blushed, he hadn’t meant for it to come out that way.

Brian smirked. “Practice makes perfect.”

“That’s for sure,” Justin muttered from behind the towel.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing.”

Brian smiled slightly and returned to shaving. He was rinsing his razor and using a cloth to wipe away any excess shaving cream when he caught Justin staring at him in the mirror. He raised his eyebrows at the younger man. Justin retreated to the bedroom to gather his clothes together.

Justin was about to step into his jeans when Brian sauntered in naked. 

Brian’s hand stayed Justin’s. “Planning on going some where?”

“I just figured...”

“You have plans today?”

“Not really...”

“Then stay.”

Justin shrugged his shoulders. Brian began stripping the bed and changing the sheets. As Brian took the old sheets to the bathroom hamper, Justin decided he was able to make the bed and proceeded. Returning from the bathroom, noting Justin was occupied, Brian headed to the kitchen to make some coffee.

_What the fuck are you doing? Stay?_ As he ground the beans and measured out the coffee into his machine, Brian tried to figure out what had come over him. He never asked a trick to stay. Of course, he never tricked twice on the same treat. He could see Justin through the vertical slats that separated the bedroom from the rest of the loft. The twink was making _his bed_ for Christ’s sake. Justin bent over to smooth the sheets giving Brian a view of his perfect ass in his tightey-whities. Well, perhaps there were extenuating circumstances.

Justin slipped on his jeans, and padded to where Brian was pouring out two mugs of coffee.

Justin picked up the mug and sipped cautiously. He eyed Brian, not sure what to do next. There was a pad of paper at the end of the bar that separated the kitchen from the rest of the loft space. Justin picked up a pen and started to doodle.

Brian watched all this without saying a word. He’d invited the twink to stay, but he wasn’t one for conversation. He was assessing what the proper amount of coffee time was before he moved Justin back to the bedroom.

Justin felt Brian’s stare on him. He lay down the pen with a ‘sorry’. He picked up his coffee again. Brian spun the pad around and was surprised at a fairly detailed sketch of himself. Not only was it accurate it was good. Shit! he could use someone like this in the Art Department at Ryder.

“You do this a lot?” Brian switched skin easily into business mode.

Justin shook his head and shrugged his shoulder. “It’s just a doodle.” It was funny, he didn’t feel awkward when they were in bed or in the shower, but here even partially dressed, he felt vulnerable and exposed.

Brian gave him a pointed stare. “I mean, I usually have my sketch book to draw in. I do most of my drawing on a pad that I keep with me at most times. I’m a student at PIFA.”

Brian’s eyebrows raised in respect. PIFA was a well respected school, highly competitive. Justin would not only have to be talented, but he’d have to have had excellent grades to get in. “What year?”

“Junior.”  
“Hmmmm.” Brian thought on that one. “What program?”

“BFA, in Fine Arts, but I’m thinking I might continue with a Masters. I want to be an artist, but the whole starving part isn’t that inviting. I have enough coursework to minor in Graphic Design and Computer Animation. But I’m not really cut out for making computer games. I like Design work.”

“Ever thought about an internship?”

“We’re supposed to have at least three credits in practical - real work - experience. I haven’t really found anything that has been of real interest. There are some museum positions, at Carnegie-Mellon, open year round. I’ve been thinking about that for the summer. Better than what I’ve been doing - art counselor for a day camp. I like kids and all, but most of what they want me to do is baby sit and do craft projects.” Justin pulled a face. “Macaroni is _not_ my favorite medium.”

Brian gave a bark of laughter. The kid may exude country club breeding, but wasn't so uptight that he couldn't poke fun at himself. Good for him.

“Ever thought about advertising?” _What the fuck?!_

Justin knew that was what Brian did for a living. Maybe not the art part, but something in advertising. By the looks of his clothes and home, it paid the bills and then some.

“Isn't that what you do?” He asked cautiously.

Brian nodded. “I work for Ryder.” Justin had heard of them. “We have an art department. They work on everything in all forms of media - print, audio, video. They’ve been known to use interns.” _Why the fuck are we going down this road?!_

“Really?”

Brian nodded. It was on the tip of his tongue to say he’d put a good word in for Justin, but he bit it back. Sure, the kid had talent that blew away half of the cretins that filled the cubicles of the seventh floor. But that didn’t mean that Brian wanted him underfoot. The kid would equate it with Brian wanting something more. _It’s just a fuck - nothing more!_

Justin nodded. He put filed the idea away. It sounded a bit more active and interesting than most of the intern opportunities he’d been looking at.

Brian dumped the remainder of his coffee into the sink and rinse out his mug. He picked up Justin’s and did the same, effectively ending their discussion and break. “Ready for another round?”

Justin looked at him a bit surprised, but nodded his head slowly. Obviously there was more. He’d have to pay attention.


	9. There'll be a Quiz Later

“He’s b-a-a-a-ck!” The sing-song nature of Ted’s voice made the gang turn and look. Down at the end of the bar, Justin sat nursing a beer. A pencil in hand, a small sketchpad lay on the bar.

Emmett sucked on the straw in his Cosmo. It hadn’t escaped him that while the gang was intently watching the blond twink, Brian was ignoring him entirely. 

Keeping eye contact with a particularly butch redhead playing pool, Brian scoped his target. Acquiring interest, he nodded his ascent and headed to the men’s room as the redhead retreated from the pool table.

“What’s he doing?” Michael asked peevishly, as he watched Justin.

Justin was scribbling madly in on the pad.

“Looks like he’s taking notes.” Ted snidely remarked taking another drink from his beer.

Emmett decided it was time to get to know the twink a bit better. “I think I’ll get another drink. Anyone want anything?” He slid out of the booth and made his way over to the bar where Justin was.

“Hey there, sweetie.” He lifted his glass and signaled to the bartender for another Cosmo.

Justin deftly flipped the cover on his pad and laid his pencil across it. He looked up at Emmett. “Hello.”

“So sweetie, I’ve been trying to figure things out.”

Justin remained silent. He knew Emmett was one of Brian’s friends.

When no comment was forthcoming, Emmett took another suck on his straw and watched Justin. Breaking the silence, he proffered his hand. “I’m Emmett, Emmett Honeycutt... and you are...?”

Justin smiled, “Justin, Justin Taylor.”

“Of course you are.”

Justin smiled, but stayed silent.

“So Justin, what brings you out tonight?”

Justin surveyed the room at Woody’s. It was full but not crowded for a Saturday night. Moving his gaze back across the room, he noticed Brian emerging from the hall leading to the men’s room. He was tucking his shirttail into his jeans. His fingers itched to make a notation in his pad, but he resisted. He looked up at Emmett. “Uh, nothing much, just out having a drink on a Saturday night..”

“You know, I’ve never seen you before this week. But all of a sudden, every time I’ve been here this week here you are. Isn’t that an amazing coincidence?”

“Amazing.” Justin agreed with a grin. He wasn’t fooling Emmett and Emmett wasn’t fooling him. But he definitely was getting a kick out of the verbal volley.

The bartender put another Cosmo in front of Emmett. Emmett took out a couple bills and placed them on the counter. Picking up the drink, he took a sip. He turned and leaned back against the bar on his elbows. “I’m here with my friends, I don’t suppose you’d like to join us.” Emmett lifted his glass to indicate the gang.

Justin looked over. Brian had rejoined the table. Brian was spinning the cap of a beer bottle listening to whatever the tall, built guy - Ben, Justin remembered - was saying. Ted was nodding. Michael, Brian’s friend, was half listening - his eyes were intent on Emmett.

Justin shook his head. “Thanks, but I think your table’s full tonight.” He wasn’t sure how Brian would feel if he horned in on his group of friends.

“Perhaps some other time...” Emmett let the thought hang. There was more here than what met the eye. He drifted back to the booth.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Michael hissed at Emmett as he sat.

“Just being sociable.”

“Well, cut it out. You know Brian doesn’t do repeat tricks. There’s no reason to talk to that kid.”

Emmett quirked an eyebrow but stayed silent. He sipped his drink and looked at Brian.

Brian had been watching the byplay between Justin and Emmett. He looked Emmett straight in the eye and almost dared him to utter a word about the previous night. Emmett stared back at Brian but said nothing.

Another half hour passed and it was nearing eleven.

“Babylon, boys?” Emmett asked the table.

There was a round of nods and everyone rose to head toward the exit. Michael and Ben were out the door, Ted joined Emmett. 

Brian held back and looked across the room to the bar. Justin sat quietly, still nursing his beer, still scribbling in his pad. 

Emmett looked back, then crossed the threshold of the door shutting it behind him. He followed Ted down the stairs to where Ben and Michael stood.

“Where’s Brian?” Michael asked.

“Occupied.” Emmett responded.

“He must have picked up that hot trick who was playing darts.” Michael shrugged. “He’ll catch up with us at Babylon.”

Emmett plastered a smile on his face. “I’m sure that’s it, sweetie.”

~~~~~~~~~

Brian crossed to where Justin sat at the bar. “Taking notes?”

Justin flushed and slammed the cover on his pad.

_Christ! He had been joking._ He looked at Justin who - if possible - turned an even darker shade of red. The kid _had_ been taking notes.

“Anything _note-_ worthy?”

Justin rolled his lips in and bit them. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he opted not to say anything.

Brian reached for the pad, Justin surrendered the notebook with reservation. Brian flipped it opened. The first few pages were sketches of himself. Some almost no more than outlines, others quite detailed. Close-ups of his face, his mouth, his eyes - intent on his prey - the tricks he’d had that night. A couple pages were bulleted scrawls of actions - eye contact, gestures, nods, indications, details of play back and forth with the trick to the ultimate consummation.

“Good thing you took notes, there’ll be a quiz later.” Brian closed the notebook and handed it back to Justin. He turned and head toward the door. He looked back. “You coming?”

Justin quickly gathered up his pad and pencil shoving them into the deep pockets of his jacket. He scrambled to follow Brian out the door.

...

Brian stopped at the bottom of the steps to Woody’s and cupped his hand to light a cigarette. By the time he’d taken his first drag, Justin had joined him on the bottom stoop.

“I know I’m fascinating. But what is it about me that make you have to take notes?”

“You can have anyone you want.”

“True.”

“And obviously, since you get anyone you want - sexually - you know what you’re doing.”

“True again.”

“I want to be you.”

Brian laughed. “I’m afraid that position is taken.”

Justin frowned.

“So... what? You want to trick like me? You want to fuck like me?”

“I want to have what you have. I want to be sure and in control. Eth... My boyfriend said that I was frigid. That he had to go elsewhere to find someone to fulfill him sexually.”

Brian snorted. Justin’s boyfriend was a loser. Justin was hot. Every time they’d fucked in the past week Brian had been pushed to the edge. Justin challenged him. He kept pace. _Fuck!_ The kid had nearly worn _him_ out.

Justin continued, “He says that I just lay there like a stick. If I could make him feel the things I feel when I’m with you, he wouldn’t need those other men. He’d stop cheating. I could satisfy him and he wouldn’t have to look elsewhere.”

“Bullshit!”

Justin stepped back as if he’d been physically hit by the word.

“We’re men, we’re queers, we’re ruled by our dicks. We’re not built to be faithful.”

“That’s not true!” Justin protested. “I haven’t cheated on him!”

Brian quirked an eyebrow. “Where did you spend last night and last Sunday?”

Justin’s face fell - he was mortified. “Oh, god!”

Brian huffed a laugh. The kid hadn’t really connected the fact that he’d spent two days in the Kinney fuckpad sucking and fucking. “Hate to clue you kid, but you’re led around by your dick like any other fag.”

Justin bit his lip. Nothing was going according to plan.

Brian took pity on him. “You want to play with the big boys? You want to learn to do the things I do?”

Justin nodded slowly. He wasn’t really sure, but he’d stay the course.

“Okay, here’s the deal. Watch and learn - and for Christ’s sake put away the pencil and the pad. Do as I do. We’ll go to Babylon, we’ll each pick a trick, we’ll take them to the back room and we’ll get sucked off - yeah we’ll start there.” The last Brian said almost to himself. “Do you have condoms? Lube?”

Justin shook his head.

_Shit! Kinney, what the fuck are you getting yourself into?_ Brian dug into his pocket. He pulled out his supply of condoms and packets of lube for the night. Dividing his stash in two he handed half to Justin.

“Watch and learn, Sonny Boy. Watch and learn.”


	10. The Protégé

Brian strode into Babylon like he owned the place. Justin had to lengthen his stride to keep pace with him. Brash and brazen, Brian crossed the dance floor, making no move to avoid the bodies there. They parted like the Red Sea, allowing him to pass untouched, merging again in his wake swallowing up any and all who came after. Justin pushed and shouldered his way through the crowd to follow, as Brian took up residence at the bar.  
Beer in hand, leaning back on his elbows Brian surveyed his domain. Justin quietly moved to stand beside him - mimicking his stance, trying to see what Brian saw. 

Michael had witnessed Brian’s arrival - and the accompanying twink. He made his way over to where Brian stood. “What’s he doing here?” he asked belligerently.

“Why Michael, I would imagine he’s enjoying the music.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. What’s he doing here with you?”

“Well, it seems that young Justin here is sadly lacking in some aspects of his education. Having a broad knowledge in subjects where he is deficient, I have agreed to help him out.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Justin leaned across Brian to speak to Michael. “It means that he’s going to teach me how to suck and fuck like he does.”

That shut Michael up - for about five seconds. “Wh-h-aa-t?”

“You’re spitting, Mikey.”

“You’ve got to be fucking nuts!”

Brian turned to Justin, cutting off Michael. “See anything you like?”

Michael stalked away.

Justin tried to read Brian, to see if there were any clues. Brian was wearing his mask. Justin looked out across the sea of dancing bodies. His gaze came upon a big, really well built guy. “Him?”

Brian licked his lips. “Ummmm, tasty, a bit out of your league though. Perhaps I’ll use him to demonstrate. For this time, maybe you would like to choose someone a bit more complementary to you - your size. Say... maybe... that one.” Brian indicated a guy, mid-twenties. Not too built, but nice. Probably five ten or so. Handsome face.

“He’s hot,” Justin agreed. “What do we do next?”

“We’ll make our way out to the dance floor. You need to size them up. Figure out if they‘re what you’re looking for. Right mouth, right ass...”

“... right cock?”

It was Brian’s turn to nod.

“Then what happens? How do you ask them?”

Brian smirked, “You don’t ask them.”

“Really?”

“It’s like a dance: you lead, they follow.”

“What if they don’t? Follow, I mean.”

Brian rubbed his chin. “I’ve never had that problem. But I suppose it is possible - for you. After all, I am... me. You might encounter some resistance. You need to make sure that you don’t give them that chance.” Brian straightened from his position at the bar and made his way toward the dance floor and the beefy body builder.

Justin scrambled to catch up with him. He tugged on Brian’s arm.

Brian turned around with an annoyed expression. He wasn’t used to being interrupted.

“Wait! What do you say to them to get them to go with you?”

Brian thought about it and leaned in to whisper in Justin’s ear.

Justin concentrated on what Brian was telling him. A grin slowly stole onto his lips. Brian turned Justin by the shoulders and pushed him off in the direction of the trick they’d chosen for him. 

Brian headed for his own prey.

Justin made his way over to the sandy-haired young man. The guy certainly was hot. Out of the corner of his eye he kept watch on Brian. How Brian approached his trick, how Brian held himself. He’d watched Brian all week; the moves were familiar. Despite the admonishment about taking notes, the repetition of writing down his observations aided Justin in imitating Brian’s moves with his own trick. Justin moved in.

Brian performed his dance, capturing the trick - closing in on the personal space, making eye contact and the physical touches that conveyed interest. The trick was eating it up. Brian leaned into the trick to exchange a few words. At the trick’s nod of agreement, Brian hooked his finger in the waistband of the man’s jeans and led him toward the back room.

Passing Justin en route, Brian noticed that the younger man was also having success. Brian kept on the path to the darkened hallway that led to the back room, sure that his protég&eacute would be close behind.

Brian chose a section of the room that was better lit than other areas with extra wall space. After all, part of the thrill was the performance. Also, he wanted to make sure that there was room for Justin. 

Brian’s trick was unbuttoning his shirt and pressing kisses to his chest when Justin arrive with his own trick. Meeting Justin’s eyes, he indicated that Justin should use the adjacent space where the walls met to form a corner. This way Brian could keep an eye on both the trick and Justin. His lips curled in a smile.

Justin didn’t have time to be nervous - which was a good thing - he was trying to concentrate on everything Brian had told him, remember everything he’d observed Brian doing, and not be distracted by what Brian was doing now.

Brian’s beefy trick had made it down to Brian’s waist and was currently working the buttons on his jeans. Brian shoved his fingers in the trick’s hair, grabbing ahold and directing the trick’s activities. The trick freed his cock, and began to go down on him.

Brian looked over to where Justin stood against the wall. He looked remarkably like a spelling bee contestant trying to sound out a word in his head.

“Relax!” he commanded, grabbing Justin’s attention. “Concentrate on your trick.”

Brian’s own trick looked up, “Huh?”

Brian shook his head and led the trick back to business. He glanced across at Justin. 

Justin appeared a bit more relaxed. He was trying to concentrate on his trick - holding his trick’s head - but he was watching Brian.

Brian shook his head, before glancing downward to indicate that Justin should be paying attention to his own trick rather than what Brian was doing. 

Justin peered down, studying the sandy-haired man. His trick had managed to pull Justin’s cargos down to his knees. Kneeling in front of Justin, the trick reached out to pump him a few times, before licking the hard flesh. With a smile, the trick swiped at Justin’s cockhead. Justin leaned back against the cool cinder block wall and enjoyed the sensation.

Brian smiled and went back to indulging in his own trick. As he fucked the trick’s mouth he watched Justin. Brian knew Justin’s trick. He’d had him; the guy gave great head. He knew that Justin would enjoy the experience, and wouldn’t have to work to get the best from the trick. Brian’s trick was turning out to be better than expected as well. He leaned back and savored the sensations.

Raw noises and muffled gasps drew Brian’s attention back to Justin. Justin’s tongue darted out between strawberry lips, swiping them, making them wet. Eyes shut, his face was a study of pleasure. Turned on by the display before him, Brian increased his rhythm. With a small cry Justin came, pistoning his hips into his trick, as the trick worked hard to swallow all that was offered.

Brian followed quickly, pumping his load down the beefy trick’s throat. Brian looked over to where Justin stood. He watched as the kid gently palmed his trick’s face.

“Can we get together sometime?” the trick asked.

Justin gave him a faint smile but shook his head. “Sorry.”

The trick stood, shrugged and made his way to the exit.

Brian’s trick knew better than to ask. He quickly exited as well.

Brian crossed to where Justin stood, looking a little dazed. He pulled Justin’s pants up and over his hips, zipping the fly and securing the waistband button. He leaned down and kissed Justin on the lips, allowing the kiss to deepen a bit before pulling back.

“Ready for lesson two?”


	11. Homework

“Fucking Brian!”

“Uh-oh, what did he do this time?” Emmett asked Michael.

“He brought that fucking trick... that kid... that... that.. Justin... here.”

“Well, it is a public place.”

“He brought him here to teach him how to fuck!”

“Great! Just what we need. Another Brian Kinney.” Ted shook his head.

“They’re in the backroom. Right now! Doing God knows what!”

“Well, if they’re in the backroom it’s probably a safe bet that they’re...” Ted offered.

Michael threw up his hands. “No! I don’t want to know!”

Emmett put an arm around Michael’s shoulders. “There there Michael. I’m sure it’s just a temporary diversion. You know how Brian is -- permanent isn’t in his vocabulary.”

Brian emerged from the backroom with Justin following closely behind. He stopped by the bar, did a shot of Beam with Justin, grabbed two beers and headed up to the catwalk where the gang was. And where the view was best.

At the top of the stairs, Brian thrust one of the beers into Justin’s hand. “Follow me. Evening boys.”

Assorted Hi _Brian_ ’s, _Bri_ ’s and _Asshole_ ’s were thrown out.

“Justin, let me introduce you to the gang. You’ve already met Michael.” 

Justin smiled, but Michael glared back. _Oh-kay..._

“Michael’s, other half -- the professor.”

“Ben.” Smiling, he reached out and shook Justin’s hand. Michael gave a _’hrumph!’_ and if possible, glared even harder.

“Emmett.”

Emmett smiled sweetly at Justin. “Oh, he already made my acquaintance earlier this evening. Having fun, honey?”

Justin smiled and nodded.

And, as if in an afterthought, “Oh yeah, Ted.” 

Ted gave Brian an annoyed look, before signaling hello to Justin with his beer bottle.

“Hi.”

Brian looked out over the crowd. “Well boys, we miss anything?”

“Well...” Emmett began. Michael gave him a look. “...not a whole heck of a lot.”

The six men hung over the rail and watched the action on the dance floor for a while. Emmett kept them entertained with stories from Torso and general gossip. However, every time anyone tried to talk one-on-one with Justin, Michael would glare at them, effectively cutting off the conversation. Justin got the hint. He headed for the stairs without saying goodbye.

Brian had been scanning the dance floor for suitable candidates for their next lesson. His eyes came to rest on a pair of twins. _Twins... now that might prove entertaining_. “Justin.” He turned to where Justin had been, only to find the rail empty.

He looked to Michael. “Where’d Justin go?”

Michael shrugged. “He just left.”

Brian looked toward the stairs. Justin was just pushing off the bottom step and heading toward the chain-draped exit. “Later,” Brian threw over his shoulder toward the gang, and made his way down the stairs after Justin.

Justin had stopped outside the entrance to Babylon to take a breath and light a cigarette.

“Justin!” Brian barked at him.

“What?”

“You left without saying a word to me?”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry’s bullshit.”

“Okay, I’m not sorry.”

“I must have been mistaken. I thought you wanted my help. I thought you were ready to play with the big boys.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t count on being treated like a parasite by some of your big boy friends.”

“What the fuck?”

“While you were cruising for tricks, Michael very efficiently and effectively made sure that no one would talk to me or have anything to do with me.”

““So what the fuck do you care if Michael or any of the gang don’t talk to you?”

“I felt like a fucking leper!”

Brian turned around to go back into Babylon.

“Wait!” Justin reached out to grab hold of Brian’s arm.

Brian looked down at Justin’s hand on his arm. He raised his eyebrows.

Justin dropped his hand. “Where are you going? What are you going to do?” 

“I would think it is rather obvious. I’m going back into the club to finish what I started. Earlier this evening I thought you might join me. But that offer’s off the table -- self-pity makes my dick soft. So go home Justin.”

“No!” He grabbed Brian’s arm again.

Brian brushed Justin’s hand aside. “You don’t have a say in the matter. When you’re ready to act like an adult, I might be open to continuing our lessons. But for now, that offer is revoked.”

All Justin could think was that it was Brian’s friends who were acting childishly. However, he knew that Brian wouldn’t care. “Obviously I made a mistake. If you are willing, I would like another opportunity to demonstrate that I deserve another chance.”

Brian was impressed. Quite frankly, he thought Justin would try to defend himself. Brian knew Michael had been behaving badly. Justin was displaying a level of maturity that his friends rarely exhibited. 

Brian considered his options. If he returned with Justin, he doubted that Michael would behave any differently than he had earlier. It also was not lost on him, that if he returned with Justin, it would look like he’d gone chasing after the younger man. _Fucking Mikey!_

Earlier, he’d considered taking Justin back to the loft, but that would make it three times this week. Clearly he’d already blown the “No Repeats” policy. Resigned, he headed toward his Jeep. He kept walking, looking straight ahead. “Justin, you coming?”

~~~~~~

Justin was flat on his back, on Brian’s incredibly soft sheets, legs splayed in wanton lust. Brian was kneeling between them. Alternating between his hands, Brian tugged and stroked Justin’s cock. The constant pull and pressure back and forth between Brian’s hands produced an incredible rhythm that was driving Justin to the edge of reason. Every time Justin thought he was going to shoot, Brian somehow managed to stop him. Brian’s control over his body was remarkable.

“So tell me, what do you like about fucking?”

“Huh?”

“What do you like to do in bed?”

“I don’t know. This is good I guess.”

“This is foreplay. Did you like earlier tonight? At Babylon?”

“Well, sure. It was hot. But the trick wasn’t as good as you.”

Brian grinned. “Very few people are.”

“But he was way better than Eth... my boyfriend.”

“Is that so? What was better?”

“Well, he seemed to know what he was doing. It didn’t hurt.”

Brian raised an eyebrow.

“Eth... my boyfriend has these like really sharp teeth -- fangs almost. The guy tonight -- the trick -- he kept his teeth covered. And I could tell him what to do -- direct him with a nudge or my hands on his head -- and he’d like react and do all the right things. That was cool.”

Brian laughed at Justin’s assessment of their excursion to the backroom.

“Well, it was. I mean if I could tell Eth... my boyfriend... tell him, show him what to do, I might enjoy it more. If I could get him to do it like you do it, that would be amazing.” More like ‘unbelievable’ Justin thought. For as much as Ethan was a performer, he didn’t take criticism well.

Brian pondered that as he continued to manipulate Justin with his hands. “I believe that we’re done with that topic for the night, but we’ll come back to the fine art of fellatio. Now back to fucking -- what do you like about it?”

“Not much.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Brian stopped his slow rub on Justin’s dick. “Wait! I didn’t mean you. You’re great at it! That’s why I was taking notes.” Brian resumed his stroking. Justin closed his eyes and sighed. “You’re great at everything.”

Brian nudged Justin’s knee with his elbow.

“Oh, right. Well, Eth...”

“... your boyfriend...” Brian offered.

“Uh, huh. He’s not very patient. He doesn’t spend time building to the moment.” Justin gestured to Brian’s hands on his cock. “And the other night... you spent all this time... it was like you worked my whole body over before it even began. But Eth...”

“... your boyfriend...”

“uh, yeah... he just jumps in. It’s not very good. It’s a whole lot worse since he doesn’t let me top any more. I usually just end up jerking off in the shower.”

“...ah, the shower.” Brian smiled fondly. “I think we’ll save that for later...”

“I’d like to learn... uh, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, go on... what would you like to learn?”

“What you’re doing now. I mean you’re not even fucking me... and it’s... it’s... driving me crazy. Like some damned tuning fork reverberating through my body. The whole thing washes over me from the inside out. I want to know how to do that to someone else. I want to know how to get them to do it to me.”

“Remind me to get you a book on Lingam massage.”

“Huh?”

“Never mind, what else?

“Well, that’s not even fucking. When you fuck me, there’s a whole other level. My skin barely contains it. You do that thing where you thrust deep... and I don’t know... you hit some raw nerve and my body shatters.”

Could the kid possibly be that naive? He didn’t know about his prostate? Who the fuck had he been fucking? Aside from the legendary Eth... the boyfriend. “Perhaps it’s time we have a demonstration.”

Justin nodded eagerly. He’d been teased enough by Brian’s hands; he was anxious for more.


	12. Study Hall

“Going somewhere?” Brian was lying on his back regrouping after a thoroughly enjoyable morning fuck. He reached out a hand to stroke Justin’s back.

Justin had turned and was sitting on the side of the bed. He looked back over his shoulder at Brian and smiled. “As much as I’d like to spend the day in bed, I have to be at my mom’s at two."

Brian looked past Justin at the clock. It was a few minutes after nine.

“That’s five hours from now. You’ve got plenty of time."

“Well, I have to go back to Daphne’s to shower and change -- because frankly, I reek."

“I don’t know. You smell like sex - that’s pretty hot.”

Justin laughed. “Maybe if I was trying to turn you on, but I doubt my mother would approve. Besides, my clothes reek too."

“Okay, that explains maybe one hour -- but not five."

“Well, it’ll take an hour to get to Daphne’s from here cause I have to take two buses. Then I have to go to the other side of town to my mom’s. That’s another three buses. The buses don’t run as often on Sunday so that will be almost two hours -- most of the time is waiting for the connecting bus. So I have to leave soon."

“Christ! Don’t you have a car?”.

“Sorry, starving art student here. I was supposed to get a car for college from my folks. But my dad pulled the plug on that when I decided to go to PIFA instead of Dartmouth. Oh yeah, _and_ when I told him I was gay -- he totally blew a gasket. So no shiny Beemer for me. I’m lucky I get any tuition assistance. My college money was tied up in a trust in my name and my mom got control over it in the divorce. Still, school’s expensive -- the bus isn’t."

_Half the day spent waiting around for buses? Shit!_ Brian took pity on Justin. “I can give you a lift."

“Really?” Justin beamed at Brian.

“Yeah, it’ll fuck up my plans for you otherwise."

Justin pounced on Brian, covering him with kisses. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”.

Brian pushed Justin over on his back. “Cut it out, or I’ll have to rethink the offer."

Justin lay still, arms at his side, toes pointed toward the foot of the bed.

Brian snorted. Then attacked him.

~~~~~~

“So you’re Brian."

“That would be me.” Brian sat on the pitifully uncomfortable futon couch trying to remember why he decided to come up to the apartment instead of waiting in the Jeep.

“You’re older than I thought you’d be.” .

Brian winced at Daphne’s observation. .

“Oh! Not that you’re like old or anything. I just thought Justin had met.. well, someone his own age. I guess it makes sense though."

“What?”.

“That you’d be older, being more experienced and all."

_Fuck! Just what had Justin been saying to Daphne?_ .

“He’s told me everything.” Daphne went on as if Brian’s thoughts had been voiced out loud. “He says you’re pretty amazing -- much better than Ethan."

“Who?”.

“Ethan.. his boy.."

“..friend.” Brian finished.

“So Justin’s mentioned him."

“In a round about way.”

“Ethan’s a prick."

“Sounds like a loser."

“That too. Justin could do waaay better."

“He seems pretty smart -- I’m sure he’ll wise up."

“I don’t know. He has this thing. He thinks if he can learn all your moves he can win Ethan back."

“If he learns all my moves, he’ll be able to do a hell of lot better than the ‘Eth’."

“The _Eth_ ?”.

“Eth.. the boyfriend. Isn’t that Justin’s nickname for him?”.

“No."

“Hmmm. My mistake."

“I call him _Ian_. It bugs the shit out of him.” .

Daphne smiled at Brian. He smiled back. Daphne looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. Who knew such an innocent-looking girl could be so devious? Brian was beginning to like Daphne.

“Hey.” Justin entered from the bathroom. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and was drying his hair. As he crossed the room, Brian reached out to tug at the end of the towel. It gave way and Justin grabbed for it, glaring at Daphne who was laughing, and at Brian who was looking around innocently. “Hey!”.

Daphne laughed harder. She liked Brian.

Justin repositioned the towel and grabbed some clothes from basket of folded laundry stashed next to the tv. He turned around, scowled at the couple on the futon couch and stomped back to the bathroom and slammed the door.

“Omigod!” Daphne laughed, tears rolling down her face. “He is soooo going to kill you."

“I don’t think so. He needs me more than I need him. I’m giving him a ride to his mom’s. He doesn’t have any options.” Brian glanced at his watch. “There’s no way the bus will get him there in the next half hour."

Daphne nodded. “You’re good.” She punched him in the arm.

Brian rubbed his bicep --- for a small girl, she packed quite a punch. “You ever beat up Justin?”.

“Sure, lots of time when we were kids. Not so much any more -- he’s stronger than he looks.”  
~~~~~~.

“Take a right up here. It’s the fifth townhouse on the left. You can pull in the driveway."

Brian pulled up. .

Justin unbelted and hopped out, coming around the opposite side of the Jeep.

Brian rolled down his window. “You going to take the bus back to town?”.

“Nah, I’ll talk my mom into giving me a lift to Daphne’s. She has this thing about me riding the buses after dark. I keep telling her that I’m twenty, but she still sees me as a little kid.” 

Justin leaned in the window to give Brian a peck on the lips. Without thinking, Brian opened his mouth, allowing Justin to delve deeper. Finally, Justin ended the kiss regretfully. .

“Thanks!” He smiled, then turned and headed up the path to the door.

“Later."

Justin turned as Brian rolled down the drive. “Later!” He waved as Brian headed up the street. Turning to the steps he saw his mother standing in the door.

“Was that Ethan? Are you two back together? Why didn’t you invite him in? When did he get a car?”.

Justin smiled at his mother. She usually wasn’t so chatty.

“No, that wasn’t Ethan. And there’s nothing to get back together -- we haven’t broken up. I told you, we’re just taking a break while I work things out."

“So who was it then? Who my son was kissing -- if it wasn’t his boyfriend?”.

“That was Brian.” Justin didn’t feel like explaining everything to his mom. He really wasn’t exactly sure how to explain Brian. Friend? Not really. Fuck buddy? Oh, _that_ would go over real well.

“Come on in. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”  
~~~~~~.

When Brian entered Babylon later that night, he was surprised to find Justin there. The blond was at the bar doing shots. Judging by the small pyramid of glasses, it looked like Justin hadn’t made it past three. But then the bartender dropped another in front of him and nodded at the dark man in the leather jacket at the corner of the bar. Justin drank his shot and sauntered over to the guy in the leather jacket. Brian watched the action with a bit of amazement.

Cocksure, Justin slid his fore- and middle-finger along opposite sides of the man’s lapel. .

“Thanks, for the shot -- I was.. thirsty."

“You’re hot."

“Yeah, I know."

_Goddamn!_ Brian watched with amusement. It seemed the twink had come out of his shell with a vengeance.

“What do you say I take you home and fuck you?”.

Justin smiled, but shook his head. “I don’t think so. But I’ll let you suck me off in the backroom.” Justin turned his smile on full wattage and the trick all but fell out of his chair to lead the way.

Brian didn’t want to miss the performance, so he grabbed the closest acceptable trick and dragged him into the backroom. Stationing himself close enough to where Justin was leaning up against the wall, Brian allowed his own trick to release him from his pants.

Justin’s trick was trying to kiss him, but Justin avoided the roving lips. He captured the man’s head and redirected the trick’s lips to his neck. .

The trick pulled at Justin’s tee, and ran his hands along Justin’s torso. Justin pressed lightly on his shoulders and the man bent to his knees. He unzipped Justin’s cargo pants and reached in to stroke Justin’s dick.

Justin shut his eyes and sighed. “Good.” .

Freeing Justin’s cock, the guy in the leather jacket began to go down on him. Justin moved his hands to the man’s head and shoulders. With slight pressure and murmurs, Justin supervised, ensuring the maximum pleasure for himself as well as equal enjoyment for his partner.

Brian gave a low chuckle. The kid was a quick study. Brian paced himself to Justin speed, pulling his trick’s head closer, fucking the mouth on his cock. Justin lasted nearly ten minutes. Brian was impressed. .

Brian watched the younger man spill into his trick’s mouth -- though the man was not nearly as adept as Justin was at swallowing. However, the satisfaction on Justin’s face was enough to push Brian over the line. He let go with a low moan and dumped his load into the warm mouth that encircled his cock.

Justin thanked his trick with smile and a nod, as he tucked himself in and zipped up his pants. He turned his head as the man clumsily attempted a kiss -- the kiss landed somewhere between Justin’s hair and the wall. 

As the leather jacketed man retreated to the main room, Justin passed Brian with a smirk. Rising on his toes, Justin pulled Brian’s head down to his and kissed him, ignoring Brian’s trick now wedged between them.

As quick as the kiss started, Justin ended it. He strolled down the narrow hall to where the music and lights throbbed.


	13. Practice Makes Perfect

“Going somewhere?” Daphne asked.

“I’ve got practice...” Justin was shrugging into his jean jacket. He headed for the door flipping a condom like a quarter as he went.

Daphne grabbed the condom mid-air.

“Hey!”

“You’ve been out _practicing_ ”, Daphne made annoying quotation mark gestures with her fingers, “every night this week. One would think that you’d have just about perfected whatever it is you’re practicing.”

“I have,” Justin proclaimed with confidence. He plucked the condom back from her and stuffed it in his pocket. “Tonight I’m going to try something new.”

Over the past week a pattern had formed -- by tacit agreement -- between Justin and Brian. Nightly, sometime between ten and eleven, Justin would get to Babylon. He’d wait at the bar, surveying the landscape, and cataloging the men who he thought might be interesting. He’d wait for someone to buy him a drink. If the man had potential, Justin would allow the trick to suck him off in the backroom.

Brian, picking up on this trend, sat at the bar nightly, cruising for someone worthy, while keeping his student in sight. When Justin disappeared to the backroom, Brian would follow with his chosen quarry.

Under the watchful eye of his mentor, Justin would direct his trick to the night’s task of blowing him. 

That was, until tonight. Tonight, Justin had a little something different planned for his teacher’s observation.

Brian had taken up his watch along the cinderblock wall. His trick had managed to get Brian’s dick out of his pants -- God only knew how. Despite his good looks this one was sorely lacking in gray matter. As the trick began to go down on him, Brian looked over to where his student was getting sucked off as well.

Justin had his hands full of light sandy blond hair. Leaning against the cool of the concrete wall, he was a study in pleasure. His tongue darted out and licked at his berry red lips. Suddenly, his eyes flew open. “Fuck! Go easy with the teeth will you?”

“Sorry.”

Justin rubbed his dick, glaring at the trick as he stood up. 

“Are you gonna be all right? Should I start again?”

“I’ve got a better idea.” _It was now or never._ In a flash, Justin flipped the trick around so he was facing the wall and deftly pushed the light-haired man’s pants down past his knees. Flipping a condom into the air, he caught it in his teeth. He fished a small tube of lube from his pocket, and snapping it open, he let the liquid coat his fingers before discarding the packet to the floor and sinking two slicked digits into the trick.

“Christ, that’s cold!”

With his free hand, Justin tore the condom wrapper that was clenched between his teeth. Spitting it to the ground he sheathed himself in one stroke. “Don’t worry, it’ll heat up.”

The sandy-haired man was now fucking himself on Justin’s fingers. Justin added a third finger and nimbly stretched the trick, getting him prepared. He leaned in, “Ready for the main event?”

The trick nodded, gasping slightly as Justin withdrew his fingers and replaced them with the head of his cock. The trick grunted as Justin filled him in one push.

Justin waited for the man to adjust, then began slow, deep movements. When the man groaned in satisfaction, Justin couldn’t hide his smile.

Across the room Brian grinned as he watched the scene unfold. He snorted a laugh as he saw the smile that spread across Justin’s face. It was like the whole room lit up. Beneath Justin, the sandy-haired man began to writhe with pleasure. Justin may not have known about his own prostate, but he certainly had no problem finding someone else’s. The mouth on Brian’s cock removed itself. Absently, Brian brought the head back and began to fuck his trick’s mouth in time with Justin’s thrusts.

“Oh God! I’m coming... I’m coming...” Justin’s trick was getting vocal. 

The trick was furiously stroking himself -- eager for release. Justin reached around to cover his companion’s fist with his own. They stroked together knowing it would only be a matter of moments. 

Justin was buried deep when he heard the sandy-haired man give a long, moan -- white strings of come sprayed along the wall as the trick he came. All of a sudden there was a clamping of muscles around his cock, taking Justin by surprise. The feeling was overwhelming as the walls of the trick held him in a warm, velvet vice. The wonder and delight of this unexpected experience shone on his face as he gave himself over to new sensations. 

Brian’s smile grew as he watched Justin’s reaction. _Learned something new tonight, didn’t you Sonny Boy?_

Justin couldn’t hold back any longer. He pushed a few more times and buried himself deep as he shuddered and came. 

The sheer pleasure on the blond’s face propelled Brian to the edge. With a low growl, Brian emptied himself into his own trick’s eager mouth. 

For the first time that week, Brian managed to straighten his clothes and dismiss his trick before Justin. Brian crossed to where Justin was disengaging from the sandy-haired man and discarding of the used condom. Curling his palm around the back of Justin’s neck, Brian devoured him with a kiss.  
~~~~~

“God! That was great!” Justin was still coming down from his high as Brian led him from the backroom, across the dance floor and out the club’s door.

“Enjoy yourself, Sonny Boy?” 

They descended the steps to the alley and Justin twirled around, laughing.

“Hell, yeah!”

“Don’t think you’re getting ahead of the lesson plan?”

Justin immediately sobered. “I wasn’t... I didn’t mean to... “

Brian took pity on him. Looping an arm around the younger man’s shoulders, he steered him to the Jeep.  
~~~~~  
Justin was flat on his back on Brian’s bed. 

Brian loomed over him. Braced on his arms, he ground his hips into Justin’s.

The groan from Justin’s lips was almost painful. His breath was ragged as he arched his body to make more contact with Brian’s. Brian sucked and bit at his collarbone, darting into the crevices formed by bone and muscle only to withdraw. Justin twisted in frustration. Brian was being a fucking cocktease.

“Bri-i-an!” Justin begged for some relief.

“So you think you’re ready to move on in your lessons?”

Justin reached for Brian’s neck and pulled him down to meet his lips. Brian shifted, rising to his knees. He evaded Justin’s lips, capturing the younger man’s wrists instead, his hands holding them tight, pinning them away from his body. 

Justin writhed, not satisfied with what was offered; his back bowed as he tried to regain contact with Brian’s body. No matter how he moved or struggled, Brian eluded him. Justin threw himself back to the mattress with a thud.

“I want... I need...”

“You can’t have...”

Justin growled and managed to break one of his wrists free. He punched Brian’s arm. “Dammit, Brian!”

“I think it’s safe to assume that your fuck went well tonight. However, I’m not convinced your trick was much of a challenge. I think there’s room for improvement in a few areas -- technique, endurance, sensitivity...”

“Hey! I’m sensitive...”

“Not that type of sensitivity... Now pay attention, or it’s back to remedial cocksucking,” he threatened.

“Can I take notes?”

“Twat!” Brian got up from the bed and went into the kitchen.

Justin lay on the bed frustrated and annoyed. _Where was Brian going? Was he coming back?_ His cock was hard. He reached a hand down to apply a bit of pressure and get some satisfaction.

Brian looked into the bedroom through the open panels. Justin was splayed wantonly on the sheets. Eyes shut, his body undulating. One hand on his dick, the other -- palm flat -- rubbing up and down his torso.

“Stop that!” Brian ordered from behind the kitchen bar.

Justin sighed but stopped. “Are you coming back?” His dick ached, he wanted relief.

“In a little while.”

Justin groaned.

Brian laughed. Justin glared at him. It was tough to be the task master. He was glad the island hid the hard-on he was sporting. He didn’t need to lose his credibility. He drank from a bottle of water and waited for his arousal to flag.

Justin sighed and braced himself against the cushions. _How much longer?_

Brian padded up to the bedroom. Seating himself on the edge of the bed, he grasped Justin’s cock. He slid the pad of his thumb across the slit; Justin moaned in response.

“Please...” 

“You like that?” He passed his thumb across the slit again. Liquid leaked profusely, coating the bulbous head, making it glint in the muted lights that glowed above the headboard. Brian rolled his thumb along the head to gather several drops making Justin long for more. He brought his thumb to his mouth, reached out his tongue and in a slow lick cleaned the pad. “Taste yourself.” Brian bent low and captured Justin in an open-mouthed kiss.

Justin was in sensory overload. His cock throbbed, the smell of Brian and sex filled his nose. The taste of himself and Brian filled his mouth. He thought he’d come just from Brian’s kiss. He rubbed his body against Brian, against the sheets, anything to satisfy his over-stimulated body.

Brian pulled back slowly. His strong arms calmly stopped the movement of the younger man. “Wait.” The command was soft, but firm. “It’ll be worth it.”

Justin willed his body not to move, but his head shook back and forth. “How long?... Jesus, Brian... I’m ready to explode... Why?... Why do I have to wait?...” 

Brian ran a soothing hand along Justin’s body. It was meant to calm not arouse. “The more you can control yourself -- control the situation -- the better you will be able to control your partner, what he feels. It’s not about getting off, it’s about making the pleasure last as long as you can... until you’re pushed to the very edge. If you can take your partner there, you’ll own him.”

And that was the ultimate goal, Justin reminded himself. To make Ethan his... and no-one else’s.

“You ready to try?”

Justin nodded.

Brian took his time preparing Justin. He studiously avoided Justin’s cock, instead he ran his hands along the sensitive skin of the younger man’s inner thighs. Justin’s eyes were closed in hedonistic pleasure, his mouth open and panting. Brian leaned in for a long, languid kiss. While their mouths tugged and licked at one another, Brian slicked his fingers with lube and proceeded to caress and circle around the puckered flesh of Justin’s hole.

He felt rather than heard Justin’s moan of satisfaction as he stroked in one, then two and finally three fingers. A small whimper escaped from Justin and Brian felt him bear down on the fingers that invaded his body.

“Good... so good Brian...”

“It gets better.”

Justin increased the pressure on Brian’s mouth and shoved his tongue in further, as Brian’s fingers massaged him from the inside. They greedily consumed one another until lack of oxygen tore them apart. Labored breaths filled the air, and Brian moved to lick and suck along Justin’s jaw.

“More?...” 

The quiet plea pierced Brian’s heart. He grabbed the condom from the table, and like Justin earlier that night, ripped the wrapper with his teeth and sheathed himself with a single hand.

“Ready?”

“Yes... oh yes...”

There was a slight pop and a disappointed cry as Brian removed his fingers. He quickly brought his shaft into position, raising Justin’s legs to his shoulders, so that the latex-covered head pushed inside the younger man.

The satisfaction was immediate and Justin groaned as he felt himself being filled by Brian.

“Oh, fuck!” Brian’s voice lifted in tandem to Justin’s; his moans filled the room. Brian stilled, he had to regroup, regain control. Justin bucked up against him and he responded by rubbing the younger man’s abdomen. It did little to calm the heat that was between them. _Fuck it!_ Brian began a slow rhythm -- pushing in, pulling out. 

Justin nearly cried in relief. _Finally!_

Between the two of them a fire burned. With each stroke the flames rose higher. Fanned by the long, hard, deep thrusts, virtually extinguished by near-separation as Brian pulled back, almost out... until it started all... over... again.

Sweat coated their bodies as they were driven themselves to their limits. In the back of his mind, Brian felt a bit of satisfaction knowing Justin was keeping pace with him. He slowed down a bit, concentrating on going deeper, hitting that sweet spot, making sure Justin felt everything.

“Can’t... hold... on... much... longer...”

Holding himself up on one elbow, Brian raised his hand to Justin’s forehead and brushed the damp golden strands back. “You don’t have to wait a second more.” He buried himself deep as he reached between them to stroke Justin.

Now, with permission, Justin sunk into the hand that held him and let his orgasm overtake him. Thick strings of creamy white come covered Brian’s hand and Justin’s chest. Brian continued to stroke him until he was spent. The aftershocks caused Justin to clamp down tight on the older man and Brian felt himself fall over the precipice as he filled the condom to capacity.

Brian collapsed onto Justin, whose legs fell to either side of his hips. He struggled to move, but Justin held him close.

Reaching between them, Brian extracted his hand. It was covered in Justin’s come. He licked his fingers, before shifting up and offering his mouth to Justin.

Other than the kiss they shared, their bodies didn’t move. After a few minutes, Brian felt himself softening. Regretfully, he grasped the condom and removed himself from Justin, the withdrawal leaving them both a bit bereft. 

They lay together; the only noise was that of their breathing as it normalized.

“Is it always like that?... when it’s good?”

Brian didn’t answer. _No, it’s never like that, even when it is good._ Brian rolled onto his back, capturing Justin and bringing him along with him. He ran his fingers through the damp hair at the back of the younger man’s neck. 

“It was... okay,” was all he said. 

“Just okay?” He couldn’t keep the disappointment from his voice. Justin struggled a bit so he could see Brian’s face. The smile on the older man’s face belied the mediocre critique and Justin settled his body against his teacher’s as a grin replaced his frown.

Brian lay there, washed in the glow of the lights above the headboard, watching Justin as he drifted off to sleep, thinking that perhaps there was a lesson for him in all of this too.


	14. A Change in the Wind

The ringtone of Stevie Wonder’s “Part-Time Lover” played on Justin’s cell phone alerting him to a text message. In the back of his head he made a note to kill Daphne; he kept deleting the stupid ringtone and she kept reprogramming it back on his phone.

Justin deftly clicked the buttons on his cell and scrolled through the text message:

R U CUMING 2 NITE?

Justin smiled at the message from Brian and quickly texted:

C U THERE @ 10

He didn’t wait for another message, he knew there wouldn’t be one. Brian wasn’t long on words. The fact that he even bothered to check with Justin was somewhat of a wonder. 

It had been almost a month since the fuck in the backroom when his world had been turned upside down. Now, most nights were spent at Babylon with Brian, reviewing the trick options. Brian would make suggestions or offer advice. They’d each pick a trick and retreat to the backroom for a fuck or a suck or whatever. After a couple of tricks, more likely than not, they’d end up back at Brian’s, where he’d critique Justin’s performance -- pointing out areas for improvement -- and proceed to fuck him into the mattress. He’d become an unofficial guest resident of the loft, in an unconventional, undefined kind of way and he was finding this un-relationship to be a most satisfying. He’d practically forgotten about Ethan.

Reaching a good stopping point on the canvas he’d been working on, Justin cleaned his brushes and straightened up his space before packing up his messenger bag. He was headed out of the studio when Ethan appeared.

“Ethan. What are you doing here?”

Ethan gave him a bit of a fang-tooth smile. “What? I can’t meet my boyfriend at his studio?”

“So I’m your boyfriend again? Funny, that’s not what you told my mother when she called.”

“Justin, Justin.” Ethan scolded and Justin bristled at the tone. “I was upset. Angry. We just needed some time and space. You know I love you. It’s time for you to come home. I’m sure living with Daphne must be wearing on you by now. Our friends haven’t seen you in ages; they’ve been asking about you.”

“What friends would those be? Oh I know... you must mean those friends who’ve been calling me day and night, making sure I’m okay.” Justin retorted, not masking the bitter sarcasm in his voice. “I’m sure I wouldn’t know.”

“Justin,” Ethan admonished. “Our friends care or they wouldn’t ask.”

_When had his voice become so annoying? Was it always so condescending?_

“Ethan, they’re _your_ friends. They were your friends before I came along, and once you decided I didn’t live with you I’m sure that they didn’t waste a second thought on me.”

Even Ethan could see that this argument wasn’t going anywhere. He changed tactics. He put his hand on Justin’s shoulder. “Remember how good we were together? I want you to come home -- we can be good together again.”

Quite frankly, at this point Justin was hard-pressed to remember their being “good” together. But with his new-found confidence, he decided to try something. Closing and locking the door to the studio, he pulled the privacy shade on the door’s window. Turning back to Ethan, he pushed him up against the wall and took his mouth in a punishing kiss.

Ethan was overwhelmed; his jaw slackened and he stood there numb as Justin attacked his mouth.

_When was the last time Ethan brushed his teeth? It’s like he ate head of garlic for lunch!_ He moved to suck on Ethan’s neck, but it was a bit grimy and greasy. He spun him around and began working on the violinist’s pants.

“Oh baby! Yeah!”

_How can I get him to shut up?_ Justin rutted against Ethan as he worked the fastenings to the other man’s pants, pushing them down past his knees. Ethan tried to move and tripped, hitting the wall. Impatient with Ethan’s less than graceful stumble, Justin made short work of pushing the other man’s pants down to his ankles.

“Oh yeah! I’m so going to fuck you!”

“I don’t think so.” Justin pushed Ethan back against the wall, his forearm and elbow holding Ethan in place. He flipped a condom in the air -- catching it in his teeth and holding it there as he popped the top on a small tube of lube and coated his fingers. He pushed one then two fingers against Ethan’s hole, quickly prepping the other man. 

“Yeah, oh yeah, come to Daddy!”

_Shut the fuck up!_ Justin reached around and pressed his hand against Ethan’s mouth, rubbing it until it opened and burying most of his fingers inside, hoping to keep Ethan quiet. Ethan began to suck and moan, but there were no more outbursts.

He wasn’t quite hard, so Justin ended up having to pump his cock a few times to get it to a point where he could roll on the condom. In the interim, Ethan kept pushing his ass at Justin now that his fingers were no longer filling his hole.

“C’mon Jus,” he managed to get out around the fingers in his mouth.

Justin redoubled his efforts to keep his fingers in the other man’s mouth so that talking would be nearly impossible. 

“Mmnphht!” Ethan snorted a breath through his nose.

Finally hard enough and sheathed, Justin pushed against Ethan who pushed back, and Justin felt himself surrounded. 

Ethan was going nuts. “Mnphtf-yeah-mnugrfhs!” He kept pushing back at Justin, trying to get closer, deeper.

Irritated, Justin resignedly removed his fingers from Ethan’s mouth so he could use both hands to restrain the wildly bucking man. It was either control the chat or the fuck. He’d learned that he had to control the fuck. He laid his hands on Ethan’s hips and began to direct the man as best he could.

“Oh Fuck! Oh Jus! Yeah, make it good for Daddy!”

Justin grimaced. He wished he was closer to the rags he used for cleaning his brushes, he’d like to stuff one in Ethan’s mouth to make him shut up. Instead he concentrated on finishing the fuck.

“Yeah, I’m gonna come like there’s no tomorrow!” Ethan reached down and began to beat himself off.

At this point Justin just wanted it over. He concentrated on pushing Ethan’s prostate, hoping the extra stimulation would push him off the edge. Sure enough, a couple of passes and Ethan shot his load against the wall.

“Yeah! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! Oh baby! That was so good, baby.”

The words were distracting, but the responsive contraction of Ethan’s anal walls was enough to get Justin to come. And once he’d unloaded, he quickly freed himself from Ethan.

Justin made short work of disposing of the condom and righting his clothes. 

Ethan had turned and was now bare-assed against the studio wall, trying to regain control of his breath, his pants tangled around his ankles.

“Fuck!... That was... fucking great.” He leaned in to kiss Justin, who just managed to elude his lips. The kiss landed somewhere in the vicinity of the blond’s ear. Ethan tried to grab hold of Justin and pull him into an embrace, but Justin deftly side-stepped out of reach. “God that was great, baby! That has to have been one of my top ten fucks of all time!”

“Yeah, me too.” Justin mumbled. _Top ten... thousand_ “I gotta go. I’ve got to be somewhere.”

“Wait!” Ethan grabbed hold of Justin’s arm, but stumbled in the twist of his trousers. Grabbing at them with his free hand, he tried to pull them up while he held onto Justin with the other. “Aren’t you coming home?”

Justin shook off the hand. “No, I don’t live there any more -- you said so yourself.”

“But what about us? What about the incredible way we just made love?” Ethan looked totally confused. 

“Ethan, that wasn’t making love... that was... just a fuck.”

“We belong together, baby. You need to come home.”

“No, I need to get out of here. I’ll come by sometime and get whatever of mine is left at the apartment.”

“But, Jus...”

Justin could feel his skin starting to crawl. He had to get out of here. “I’ve got to go.” He pushed Ethan out the door and locked it. As he headed off, Ethan trailed behind him. 

“Jus... baby... come back, we can work it out!” he wailed plaintively.

Justin hurried out of the building and across the courtyard. His strides were long and purposeful as he made his way to the bus stop. Once there he paced in agitation as he waited for the next bus. The sound of air brakes drew his attention. Not the bus to Daphne’s, but it went close to the loft. He just had to get out of there.  
~~~~~~

Justin pulled open the door to the loft; Brian looked up from his workstation.

“I thought we were meeting at Babylon later.” Brian looked more closely at Justin as the younger man moved into the room. He was clearly stressed. “Problems?”

“Nothing a shower and a toothbrush can’t fix.” Justin moved to the bathroom.

Brian gave him some space, taking the time to finish what he was working on before joining Justin.

Justin was naked at the sink scrubbing his teeth like there was no tomorrow.

“You know, they say enamel is the hardest substance in the body -- you might want to lighten up on the strokes.”

Justin cupped a handful of water, swished it around his mouth and spat. “I don’t suppose you have any mouthwash?”

Brian didn’t answer; instead he crossed to the cabinet hidden in the wall. He hand Justin a trial-size bottle of blue liquid. “Here. Got a bad taste in your mouth?”

“This’ll take care of it... thanks.”

Brian stripped while Justin gargled and spat. Once naked he reached into the shower and turned on the water -- hot. Water was good for washing away the bad. He reached out and tugged Justin toward the shower.  
~~~~~~

Justin was like a madman tonight. They’d barely had time for a drink when he dragged the first trick of the night into the backroom. Brian kept up with him for the first three tricks, then opted to stand on the sidelines and merely observe Justin in the recesses of the backroom. 

It was like Justin was possessed. He’d been like that in the shower too. _Fuck! He was hot._ Brian felt himself getting hard again. They didn’t usually fuck each other in the backroom -- that was something they reserved for back at the loft. Kind of a way to wind down for the night. But Brian couldn’t wait that long. 

As Justin headed for the hallway back to the dance floor, Brian caught his arm. Justin jerked at the hold on his wrist.

“Whoa, there.”

“What?!” 

The anger and agitation in the younger man’s voice almost made Brian step back. It was time to remind him who was the master. Brian pulled Justin to the very bowels of the backroom -- beyond the chains, grillwork, and lattice. He pushed Justin up against the wall and took his mouth with a demanding kiss. Justin offered token resistance before giving in to his own wants and needs. They were combatants in the same fight, each striving for the upper hand, but knowing that they both would win no matter what. 

Brian pulled back a bit, nipping, sucking, eluding. 

Justin pressed closer, moving to make contact with Brian’s lips, frustrated when the older man stepped out of his reach. He grabbed for Brian’s arms to pull him back. 

Around them men covertly watched the struggle for dominance. But this was Brian’s show, Brian’s game. There was no doubt that Kinney would prevail.

The older man raised his forearms up and over Justin’s hands, breaking the younger man’s hold. Brian grabbed Justin’s arms and captured him tight to his body. He leaned close to Justin’s ear and running his tongue along it’s edge, biting the lobe, hoarsely whispering all that he had planned in explicit, nasty words.

Justin shivered with anticipation and bucked his hips against Brian’s. “Fuck me!”

“Oh, Sonny Boy, I have every intention...”


	15. Be Careful What You Wish For

“That was... fucking... hot,” Brian managed to get the words out... barely. He lay on his back, his chest heaving; he made every effort to even out his breaths. Though tentative at first, in the few short weeks under his tutelage, Justin had proven to be a natural talent. He was enthusiastic and interested in each new lesson -- always eager to please.

Justin was slowly working his way back up Brian’s body. He scattered kisses along Brian’s stomach, chest and chin, before settling in to lick the edges of his lips and slip his tongue inside the warm, wet cavern of Brian’s mouth. 

Brian could taste himself as Justin explored him lazily. This was part of his satisfaction with teaching him. Justin could keep up a hard-driving pace, or he could throttle back to a leisurely crawl. Brian had no resistance to the slow insistence of the younger man’s mouth. He lay back and enjoyed the unhurried explorations -- fully satiated... at least for the moment. 

With a small sigh, Justin removed his mouth from Brian’s. He settled against the older man, loving the way that Brian’s fingers threaded through his hair. His own fingers were making tiny circles along Brian’s ribs.

“Brian?”

“Hmmm?”

Justin ran his tongue around his lips tentatively. He wasn’t sure how to approach this. _Well here goes nothing._ “I’ve been thinking...”

“Ye-e-e-sss...” Brian drew it out teasingly.

“Well, I know that I’m good at kissing... and sucking... and rimming...”

“Modest, aren’t we?”

A faint smile flashed across Justin’s face. “Well, you did tell me I was good...”

“I can see that I’ll have to be more judicious in my praise of your accomplishments...”

“Well, like I was saying, I know I’m good at those things because I’ve done them to you and you’ve told me I am. You’ve told me when what I was doing was right. And if it wasn’t right... well, you’ve told me how to fix it. But, I’ve never... we’ve never... you’ve never...”

“Spit it out, boy...” Brian huffed a laugh at the normally talkative Justin being tongue-tied.

“How can you know that I’m good at fucking when you’ve never let me top... you?”

To say that Brian was mildly surprised was an understatement. He knew a time would come when this subject would be raised, but he certainly hadn’t expected it to come up this soon. Brian didn’t bottom -- hadn’t in years. If Justin wanted this, he was going to have to ask. Brian had no intention of making this easy -- it was his ass after all. Justin was going to have to work for it.

“Is there a point here?”

Justin screwed up his courage. “I want to... I want you to let me top you.”

“You do, do you?” Brian’s tongue lodged firmly in his cheek.

Justin saw a glimmer of opportunity. He pressed forward. “Yes. I need you to tell me what I’m doing right, what I’m doing wrong. And I want you to show me how to make it last -- like you do.”

“You think you’re ready for all the trade secrets?”

“How will I ever know if I don’t try?”

“It seems to me that you’ve been doing fine topping in the backroom at Babylon. I would think that the feedback from your tricks would tell you that. Those boys bottom all the time. I’d think that they’d be your experts. I don’t bottom.”

Justin scrambled up on his elbows so he could look into Brian’s face. “You mean you’ve never...”

“A long time ago... but it’s been _many_ years.”

Justin plopped back down on the bed, disappointed. Part of wanting to top Brian was tied up in wanting praise from the older man. He could slake his sexual thirst for fucking and being sucked in the backroom at Babylon, but it was Brian who quenched his soul. He lived for the times when they would return to the loft for the night, and Justin could work his talents on the older man. He knew each moan elicited from his lover’s lips reconfirmed his aptitude. It was Brian’s approval he craved. _Oh well, this was one thing I’ll have to live without._

Brian turned and looked at the dispirited man who lay beside him. He was too far away. Normally they had some connection -- fingers twined, an arm brushing up against his side, a leg casually slung across his own -- some touch that kept them in contact. But now the bed seemed as wide as the ocean. Justin just lay there -- somehow deflated, the joy gone. He didn’t push, he didn’t beg, he didn’t whine. He just lay there -- resigned.

Brian slowly turned onto his stomach, gathering a pillow under his chest and grabbing another for under his hips. “One time -- only one time. And you will go very slow and listen to everything I say. You will follow every instruction given -- understood?”

Justin couldn’t believe it. He scrambled up to his knees and began to press kisses all over the side of Brian’s face. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

“And you will never... ever... speak to anyone about this. Or you’ll find that fine twink butt of yours on the next bus out of the Pitts.”

Justin’s head nodded so fast and hard, Brian thought it might break off.

“Okay, you know the basics. You need to be sure that your partner is prepared, relaxed, ready. Where are you going to start?”

“Uh... I guess I could...” Brian gave him a sharp look. Justin cleared his throat. _Come on Justin, don’t blow this -- THINK!_ He leaned down and whispered in Brian’s ear. “I’m going to walk my tongue down every vertebra on your back. Then, I’m going to spread you wide and rim you ‘til you beg. Then, I’m going to fuck you ‘til you scream.” Justin’s tongue darted out and licked Brian’s lobe. He thought he detected a shudder from the older man.

“Great. Go to it.”

Justin took his time. For the first few minutes he didn’t really move, he just let his lips caress Brian’s neck. Slowly, he nipped lightly at the point where fine hairs met the nape of the older man’s neck. 

Brian murmured appreciatively; encouraged, Justin traveled lower. 

Justin’s tongue painted a sluggish path of ‘S’s along Brian’s spine, leaving the skin wet in its wake. He moved down each vertebra; as the hot, moist trail cooled, he could feel Brian’s body shiver in reaction. When he reached the curve of Brian’s ass, Justin massaged the smooth flesh with his hands as his tongue darted out to take lazy swipes along the cheeks. 

He could feel Brian’s muscles relax making it easier to spread him open. His tongue danced along the flesh leading to Brian’s puckered hole. The prize within sight, Justin was confident as he made teasing flicks at the older man’s opening before delving into its depths. With concentrated effort, he did his best to ensure enjoyment for them both.

“G-u-u-a-a-ahhh!”

Justin smiled from between Brian’s legs. The practice had definitely been worth it. He had to admit, rimming Brian was a total pleasure. Savoring the moment, Justin buried his nose in the soft folds of flesh.

A nudge from Brian’s hips and the hard plastic of the bottle of lube against his arm woke Justin out of his reverie. He pressed a kiss to Brian’s ass cheek before grasping the offered lube.

Having Justin’s talented tongue bathing his ass had aroused Brian to the point that he was anxious to get on with things. He was curious to see how he, and Justin, would fare in all this.

Slicking his fingers with the slippery liquid, Justin walked them down along the crack of Brian’s ass. As his hands moved south, his mouth began a journey northward up Brian’s back. He sucked at the twin dimples that winked at the rise of the older man’s cheeks; he nipped along the column of Brian’s spine. 

Justin’s mouth was driving him crazy. Brian hardly took notice of the fingers that were making tighter and tighter circles around his hole. 

Justin had worked his way up to Brian’s shoulders, teasing and biting all the way. He rested his fingers alongside Brian’s hole and waited. He could feel Brian’s body ease to the point where it only took a gentle push and his finger was swallowed into the depths of Brian. Justin was in awe of the incredible tightness and warmth. He was eager to feel that heat, that pressure, surrounding his cock as he filled Brian. But as anxious as he was, he schooled himself to slow down knowing how important it was that Brian was properly stretched. A small seed formed in the back of his brain. It told him if he did this right maybe, just maybe, Brian would let him do it again. If not, if this was truly one time only, then he planned to make it count.

The fact that Justin was taking it slow was not lost on Brian. He was surprised that the younger man managed to hold on, while he was so fucking hot it wasn’t funny. He shifted on the pillows he’d placed below himself, trying to free his cock from its uncomfortable confines. He rutted against the down and the bedding seeking to relieve some of the ache and avoid the crush of his arousal. 

Justin moved into position between Brian’s legs... and stopped. He wished that they could do this face to face; he wanted to see Brian’s eyes, be privy to his emotions. 

Brian looked over his shoulder at Justin. _What was the kid waiting for? He’d been doing just fine._ Brian raised an eyebrow at him.

Justin bit his lip. He rubbed Brian’s back. Leaning closer, he whispered in a hushed tone, “I want to see you. I want to see your face.” 

Hearing the quiet plea, Brian rolled onto his back and looked up at Justin.

_Oh thank god!_ Justin dove into Brian’s arms, kissing him soundly on the lips before resettling between his thighs.

The sheer joy radiating off of Justin had Brian grinning. How could he deny him anything when he was like this? Justin was happily rubbing against him, grinding their cocks together. Brian shifted his legs further apart and tilted his pelvis.

“Now?” Justin smiled down at him, giving his that thousand-watt ‘sunshine’ smile.

Temporarily blinded, Brian pushed himself to give a small nod and reached for a condom from the nightstand. Justin plucked it out of his hands and quickly sheathed himself. He applied lube to his latex-coated cock and his fingers -- which he quickly transferred to Brian’s hole.

“Justin...”

Justin looked up. Brian stilled his hand.

“I’m ready.”

“Oh!... yeah... well, okay...”

He moved closer to Brian, unwittingly dragging his cock along the sensitive skin of Brian’s thighs before resting at his entrance. He looked down at his cock, then up to Brian’s face. Hazel eyes bore into blue ones. Justin gave him a nudge with his cockhead. 

Brian shifted, trying to make it easier for both of them. He grabbed the younger man’s wrist. “Just... go slow.” He reached down and pulled Justin’s hips closer.

Justin pushed closer; feeling resistance, he took a breath and reached between them. Holding himself steady, he pushed against Brian and was rewarded when he breached the ring of muscle that had barred his entrance.

Brian exhaled sharply. _The burn -- how could he have forgotten about that?_

Justin didn’t move; he was almost afraid to. Brian was afraid he was going to pull out. His hands went to Justin’s hips again -- signaling Justin to push a little further. Justin inched his way inside him. The heat and the tightness of Brian was incredible.

This is why he didn’t bottom. As great as it was to feel the fullness and closeness with Justin, Brian felt exposed -- totally vulnerable. And not in control -- of the situation, of his body... He tamped down the panic that threatened to rise and told himself to enjoy the moment. He had a hot, young stud -- in-training -- who would follow his every command. But Brian knew that commands would be unnecessary. Justin would do just fine.

Brian watched Justin’s face as a world of discovery and emotions crossed it. The kid was so totally honest. Everything was laid open there to see. He wasn’t the only one that was vulnerable. Brian’s eyes locked with Justin’s -- Justin was the one who invaded his body and mind. They looked at one another as a deeper understanding passed between them. Justin reached out his hand and twined his fingers with Brian's. With renewed confidence, Justin began slow thrusts, building a rhythm.

Brian let Justin set the pace, and concentrated on enjoying the sensations aroused in his body. Was this what it was like for Justin when they fucked? Did he feel the slow burn, like embers that lay almost dormant threatening to ignite? Did he find himself so caught up in the emotions of the joining that he was unable to do little more than let the fire consume him? 

Justin reached between them now rubbing his thumb across Brian’s slit, then grasped the man in his hand. He formed a fist and slowly pulled his hand up and down along Brian’s shaft -- the motion made easy by the pre-come that leaked along its length. Brian closed his eyes and gave himself over to the combined sensations on his cock and in his ass. Inside and out, Justin was pulling him further and further -- bringing him closer and closer -- to the very fringe. A couple of bumps along his prostate and the firm grasp on his dick, and Brian felt himself reach the edge... and tumble.

“Justin!”

As he milked the come from Brian’s cock, Justin felt the pressure of Brian’s muscles clamping down on him -- holding him deep. It was enough to push him past the point of control, and he emptied himself into the condom.

The exertion caught up with him; he felt his arms give way and he crumbled in slow motion to lie on Brian’s chest. Exhausted and spent, he shivered as the sweat cooled on his back. Brian tugged a sheet over them both, holding Justin in his arms and cradling him between his thighs.

Justin made a move to separate himself from Brian. But Brian stilled his movements.

“It’s okay. Just stay here for a minute.”

He felt Justin melt against him and he closed his eyes and savored the closeness. He knew they’d have to move -- have to part. But he wanted to hold on to _this_ for as long as he could. He felt Justin soften and recognized that he’d have to disengage himself, or risk losing the condom. His hand joined Justin’s as the younger man grasped the base of it and pulled out regretfully. Brian felt the void. Laying back, eyes closed, he willed away the painful emptiness that lingered and tried to gain control of his emotions.

Justin disposed of the condom and sat on the edge of the bed thinking about what had just transpired. He hadn’t been prepared. He wasn’t prepared for _...for what? ...for this._ This wasn’t what he felt when he tricked in the dark corners of Babylon’s backroom. It wasn’t sensation -- though God knew there was plenty of that -- it was emotion. It crashed down and shattered him.

“Hey... you coming back to bed?”

Brian’s voice brought him back to the here and now.

Justin crawled across the bed and looked down at Brian’s face. He didn’t say anything, but brushed the chestnut strands of stray hair, damp with sweat, from his forehead and kissed the older man. Still saying nothing, he burrowed into Brian’s chest until Brian wrapped his arms around him. He clung to Brian with quiet desperation, willing himself to relax.

Brian knew something was wrong. Justin was usually chatty and happy or relaxed and sleepy, but he could feel the tension. Oh, he was trying to hide it -- as best he could -- but Brian had learned to read his twink. He let his fingers thread through the golden silk of Justin’s hair and thought of what had happened between them.

One thing was for sure, he wouldn’t be bottoming again any time soon. The physical impact -- he’d expected that. He knew he’d feel it in the morning, no matter how much Justin had prepared him. It was the emotional toll that Brian hadn’t counted on. He knew what had transpired was more than being topped, though he was sure that was part of it. As good as it had been -- and Justin had been fucking good -- something had passed between them that transcended the physical. Brian knew he had to lock it down, shut it out. He wasn’t going to leave himself open to what ever _that_ was. Brian’s mind started to calculate his next move.

Normally, for Justin, this was the part he like the best. After sex, he knew he could find peace and contentment being held in Brian’s arms. But tonight something had happened. It wasn’t the same, and no matter how much he told himself to relax, he couldn’t. There was no denying that the sex between them was explosive. Tonight only proved it. But it went beyond that -- and it scared him. He could tell it scared Brian too.

He clutched Brian a little tighter and willed himself to sleep.


	16. The Ego That Ate Pittsburgh

Three men were in the gang’s usual booth when Ted and Emmett arrived at the diner. Moving beyond the occupied table, they took the next booth as they waited for Michael and Ben to arrive. 

Always on the alert for a juicy piece of gossip, Emmett’s ears perked up at the conversation in the adjacent booth.

“... he’s fucking hot. Kinney’s taught him _everything_! It’s almost as good as getting a second chance with the Lord of Liberty Avenue himself,” the redhead with his back to Ted and Emmett’s booth was saying.

“Yeah, he's totally hot!” A brown-haired man opposite chimed in.

“Really?” The man with the bleached hair looked from one of his dining companions to the other.

The brown-haired man quickly explained. “Yeah, I mean Kinney’s fucks are legendary, but his protégé is quickly catching up. He took me back to his place and we like fucked for like two hours -- I came like three times. It was un-fucking-believable! I mean I couldn’t fucking believe how hard he got me... Of course, there’s one thing he has in common with his mentor: they’re both assholes. I mean it was like one of the best fucks of my life, but when it was over he rushed me out the door before I had a chance to zip my fucking pants. He’s learned everything from the master all right, but that’s one lesson he could have done without.”

“Hey, there he is.” The redhead nodded as Justin came in the door.

“Him? The blond twink?! You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“That’s him all right,” the brown-haired man confirmed. _”’The Apprentice.’”_  
~~~~~~

Justin looked around the diner for Brian. He didn’t know if he felt let down or relieved that he wasn’t there. It had been nearly three weeks since he’d let Justin top him. Three weeks in which Justin’s world had become totally fucked up.

The night after he’d topped Brian he’d gone to Babylon as usual, but Brian never showed. Justin had gone home to Daphne’s telling himself he wasn’t disappointed.

The next night he hadn’t shown either. Justin had swung by the loft, hoping to catch Brian. He hadn’t counted on catching him in bed... with someone.

“What?” Brian stood at the loft door, naked.

Justin moved to enter, but Brian’s hand stopped him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“In.”

“I’m busy.”

“Busy?” Confusion was evident on Justin’s face.

“Hey man, are we going to do this or what?” The call came from the vicinity of Brian’s bedroom.

Brian looked at Justin. “Busy.” He pushed the younger man back into the hall and shut the door in his face.

A couple of nights later, Justin caught up with Brian at Babylon.

“Have I done something wrong?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You don’t meet me here at night anymore. I haven’t seen you in like a week. We don’t... you know... go back to your place and... fuck...” he finished lamely. 

“We’re not fucking married. I’m not your boyfriend.”

“But we always... we used to...”

“Lessons are over. You’ve graduated -- with honors.” And with that, Brian downed his drink and crossed the dance floor to the trick he’d been cruising.

Justin stared at Brian’s retreating back -- his crushed look of disappointment was slowly replaced by a hard edge. “Fine!” He pushed himself from the bar. “Fuck you!” Justin stalked across the dance floor and grabbed the closest acceptable trick, dragging him off to the backroom.

From that point on, his life had taken a downward spiral, he’d become sullen and belligerent. He hadn’t realized how dependent he had become on whatever the fuck his relationship was with Brian. He knew he was acting out, but it was as if he couldn’t stop himself. With every random fuck he was digging himself deeper into a hole he didn’t know how he’d crawl out of. Daphne was pissed at him, Brian didn’t want to be bothered by him, and Ethan wouldn’t leave him alone. His life was hell. _Fuck!_  
~~~~~~

“Fix him!” The words, spat at Brian, dripped with venom.

Brian was stationed at the end of the bar at Woody’s. He’d been watching a particularly appetizing coffee-skinned beauty when Daphne blocked his view. “Why, hello Daphne. How nice to see you. What can I do for you?”

“You can talk some sense into your _protégé_.”

Brian looked at her and gave her a slight shake of his head. “Protégé?”

“Justin. He’s behaving like a complete asshole. You broke him, you fix him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Not what -- who. Justin. He’s been out every night. At first, I didn’t mind. It was good to see him with some new-found confidence. He seemed to be growing, learning. But now... Well, now he’s just an asshole -- and not a very likable one at that. You’re responsible -- you fix him.”

Brian sighed. “Why don’t you start at the beginning -- it might make it easier for me to understand what exactly you think I can do about your problem.”

“Justin. He broke up with Ian... Ethan...”

“I thought that was what you wanted. I believe you said ‘the Eth’ was ‘a prick’.”

“Yeah, well... That’s what I thought I wanted. I mean, Ian was -- is -- a prick. But now that Justin has told him they’re through, he keeps coming around. Day and night calling me -- whining about wanting Justin back, trying to get me do something about it. All his sniveling is annoying. But Justin’s worse.”

Brian’s eyebrows shot up. “Worse?”

“He’s acting like a jerk. And it’s like he’s become this possessed sex machine. His ego knows no bounds. He’s become this complete asshole.”

“Do tell...”

“He brings home a different guy every night -- that’s when he bothers to come home at all. He has wild sex with them...”

“...and you come to this conclusion how?”

“The walls are thin -- all the moaning and screaming is keeping me awake.”

Brian chuckled.

“It’s not funny! After he’s finished with them he throws them out the door like yesterday’s garbage.”

Brian’s tongue lodged firmly in his cheek. _It seems he’d learned his lesson._

“Do you know what it’s like to come home to find men -- men who are not interested in _me_ mind you -- littered on my landing? Begging me to have Justin call them back? And Ian’s,” she gave her head a shake, “...Ethan’s leading the herd. Do I look like Dan Savage?! I don’t have time for this shit...”

“Okay, hold on, that’s enough -- self-pity makes my dick soft.”

“Well, it probably needs a vacation anyway if Justin is any reflection.”

Brian ignored that comment. “I’ll speak to the lad, find out what’s going on. But I’m not promising anything.”

“Fine! Whatever! Just do _something!_ ” She stormed out of Woody’s in a huff. Brian looked up to find the fine coffee-toned man otherwise engaged. _Fuck!_ Fucking up _his_ life was unacceptable. He pulled out his cell phone to text his errant student.  
~~~~~~

Brian looked up from his post at the bar as Justin swaggered into Babylon. _Fuck! When had the kid gotten so arrogant?_

“Hey.” Brian gave Justin an upward nod. 

“Hey.” Justin leaned back on his elbows against the bar making, every effort to appear nonchalant. He could play it cool. “You said for me to meet you here?”

“Yeah. Daphne says you’re being an asshole.”

“Fucking Daphne and her big mouth.” He didn’t want to talk about Daphne... or himself. He changed the subject. “See anything you like tonight?”

Brian knew the ploy for what it was. He let it drop...for the time being. “I haven’t bothered to look. You?”

Justin looked around. “Not really. Maybe him.” He nodded to a buff bleached blond that screamed surfer boy.

Brian shook his head. “Uh-uh. Confirmed top.”

“I can change that.” 

Before Brian could respond, Justin made a beeline to the surfer boy and was whispering in his ear. They danced, or rather dry-fucked on the dance floor, before Justin dragged the trick to the backroom. Brian figured it was time to get a closer view. He headed for the backroom, snagging a trick by the belt as he crossed the dance floor.  
~~~~~~

“I told you, I top.”

“That’s what they all say.” Justin rubbed the surfer’s cock through his baggy pants as he spun him around to face the wall.

“A-a-a-a-a-aahhhhhhhh.”

Brian could see Justin smirk from his position across the room. He moved his trick closer and settled in against the wall near Justin.

“You know you want it.” 

_Christ!_ Brian snorted. _The kid sounds like a bad porno flick. I taught him better than that. Just what the hell happened to the kid in the last couple of weeks?_

Justin kissed the trick’s neck moving the surfer’s pants lower as licked along his jaw. He kept kneading the other man’s cock as he pushed them further down his legs. Finally, pants pooled in a heap at his feet, the trick was nude from the waist down. Keeping his tongue down the trick’s throat and one hand firmly stroking the surfer’s shaft, Justin snapped the top from a small tube of lube and smeared his palm with a squeeze. Tossing the lube to the ground, he coated his fingertips and moved to palm the trick’s ass. His fingers followed the crevice between the tight cheeks and probed the surfer’s hole.

“Ohhh.. ohhh...” the moan was swallowed by Justin’s plundering mouth.

Breaking free, Justin smiled. “Yeah. Like that do you?” 

Brian rubbed the bridge of his nose. _Make that a really bad porno flick._

Justin pushed his fingers deeper into the trick.

“Oh God!”

Justin’s hand left the trick’s cock to pull a condom from his pocket. Using his now notorious condom flip, he caught the foil packet in his teeth. He ripped it open and sheathed himself, all the while keeping a steady rhythm with the hand lodged in the trick’s ass.

Justin returned his hand to the surfer’s cock and moved it back and forth in tandem with the fingers of his opposite hand. 

“ Oh God, Oh God, Oh God.”

“You ready? You ready for me to fuck you?”

The trick nodded furiously. “Yeah, fuck me. Fuck me now!”

Justin smiled, dislodging his fingers and moving his cock to the well-lubed opening. He pushed in deep.

“Oh Gggg-o-d!”

“Yeah. Like that? I’m going to fuck you till you split.” And with that Justin proceeded to fuck the living shit out of the surfer.

Brian watched it all. _Fuck!_ He _was_ going to have to do something. Over the past few weeks, he’d made a conscious effort to extract Justin from his life. _Once you’d topped Brian Kinney, what else did you need to know?_

The topping episode had left Brian too raw. He saw the warning signs -- he knew he couldn’t let Justin become too attached. Hell, he couldn’t let himself become too attached to Justin. Brian had his own fucks to worry about. Justin didn’t need him to fuck up his life. Besides, Justin was doing fine on his own -- or at least Brian had thought so before witnessing tonight’s little episode. 

Daphne was definitely right, the boy had some attitude. A small part of Brian couldn’t help thinking Justin had certainly earned the privilege -- he’d gone from sexual neophyte to sexual expert in a matter of weeks. Brian brushed away the pride he felt knowing role he’d played in honing Justin’s talents. Regardless, the ego that ate Pittsburgh shouldn’t go unchecked. He followed Justin out of the backroom. He needed to have a word with his boy.


	17. A Wake-Up Call

Brian caught up with Justin on the dance floor. He grabbed a belt loop on the younger man’s pants and dragged him out of the club.

Justin hadn’t made a scene inside Babylon, but once they were outside, he pulled back and away from Brian. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“Nothing’s wrong with me. And I don’t like being dragged around like some stupid trick!”

“Then stop acting like one!”

“Fuck you! Why don’t you go back to leaving me alone? It’s been peaceful these last few weeks without you.” Of course this was a lie, but Justin didn’t want Brian to see how hurt he was that the older man had abandoned him.

Brian looked down into Justin’s blue eyes. In the hazy alley lights, he could detect a glimmer of moisture. Justin was doing his best to fight the emotions that threatened to make tears spill.

“C’mon,” was all Brian said. He looped an arm around Justin and steered him to the car. Brian opened the doors and gestured for Justin to get in. Once his passenger was seated and belted, Brian turned over the engine and pulled out onto Liberty Avenue.

“Where are we going?” Justin asked Brian once he’d made the turn.

“The loft.” 

The short trip was completed in silence. Brian was mapping out what he was going to say -- he’d have to get Justin to open up. _Fuck it! Justin was an adult, he could damn well act like one._

Justin was looking out the window and trying to ignore the flicker of elation he felt at returning to the loft.

Brian parked and they took the elevator. Sliding the door open and disabling the alarm, Brian ushered Justin inside. He closed the door behind them, locking it and resetting the alarm.

_Well, I guess he’s planning on me spending the night at least._

Brian went through his nightly ritual of removing his shoes and socks, before grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge -- he wanted his head clear for this conversation -- and taking a seat on the couch. “Join me?” he asked, when Justin didn’t move from where he was standing near the door.

Justin shrugged and came around the couch. Brian pushed a bottle of water across the coffee table toward him. Justin picked up the bottle, then set it back down. Sitting on the edge of the couch, he leaned down to take off his shoes and socks, stuffing the socks into the shoes, and moving them under the coffee table and out of the way. Justin settled into the opposite end of the couch. He watched as Brian shifted his long, lean legs toward him along the leather sofa cushions, his toes stopping about two feet from where Justin sat. Grabbing the bottle of water, Justin turned to face Brian, stretching out his legs too, so that their feet met.

Brian caressed Justin’s toes with his own. He looked into the younger man’s eyes. “So what the hell happened, Sunshine?”

“What are you talking about?” Justin shifted his gaze to a point beyond Brian’s shoulder so their eyes no longer met.

Brian ignored the ploy. “You. What the hell happened to you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He looked down at his bottle of water. 

Brian nudged him with his toes and brought Justin’s attention back to his face. “Daphne says you’re out every night, dragging home the trick du jour, fucking them and then kicking them to the curb.” He let it sink in that he knew exactly how badly Justin had been behaving. Justin’s cheeks tinged pink but he said nothing.

Brian didn’t give up. “So... what? I leave you alone for a couple of weeks and you transform into the biggest fucking asshole on Liberty Avenue?”

“Not the biggest. I believe you still hold the title.”

“Yeah, well... it works for me.”

Justin smiled a little at that. _Maybe he really does want to know what was going on. Fuck it! I’m here, might as well put it out on the table._

“I don’t know... My life seems to be a disaster lately,” Justin confessed. “Ethan cornered me, and I fucked him, but it was really awful.”

Brian raised an eyebrow, but didn’t speak.

“Well,” Justin fingered the label on his water bottle and turned to Brian with a ghost of a grin, “I wasn’t... actually, I was pretty hot. But that was part of the problem.” He looked down at the bottle where his fingers had torn away the label. He frowned and shook his head. “Ethan... Everything about him -- I can’t believe I never noticed it before. He was grimy and kind of sweaty -- but not in a good sense. And he doesn’t smell very good. And, God, he should brush his teeth more often...”

“I get the picture,” Brian interrupted. He wanted for Justin to get to whatever was at the root of all this -- no matter how much he was enjoying the fact that Justin’s sexual post-graduate studies had finally pushed ‘the Eth’ off the map.

Justin’s brows furrowed and he took a drink of water from his bottle. “Well, I broke it off with him -- it had run its course. I don’t know what I was trying to hang on to anyway.”

“So you’re moving forward with your life...”

Justin wasn’t sure if Brian meant that as a question or a statement. It didn’t particularly matter.

“Yeah... I’ve moved on.”

“Unfortunately, you've moved on anything with a dick.”

“Brian!”

“Justin, fucking everything on two legs doesn’t make you better than the next guy.”

“It works for you...” 

“Yeah, well, you’re not me. And believe me, you don’t want to be. Modeling yourself after me has only proven that you can be as big an asshole as I am.”

Justin didn’t understand how Brian did it, or maybe he understood too much. Over the past few weeks fucking had become arduous. He just wanted to get it over with. It wasn’t fun anymore -- not like it had been when Brian was there, or afterwards when he and Brian would come back to the loft and fuck for hours. He missed that. He missed Brian. But he couldn’t tell Brian that.

Justin looked miserable and felt even worse. He had no idea what he was doing with his life.

Brian switched subjects. “How are things going at school -- didn’t you say you had a student exhibit coming up at the end of the semester? That can’t be that far away.”

Justin shrugged. “School’s okay, I guess.”

Brian didn’t believe him for a minute. Justin had always been enthusiastic about his artwork.

Actually, school sucked. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. School was about the same, his artwork sucked. Justin wasn’t motivated, and the projects he’d worked on over the past few weeks reflected that.

Justin heaved a big sigh. “I’m not really motivated... I’m not happy with the work I’m doing.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Brian wasn’t going to let him off the hook. 

It was the kind of push he needed. For the first time in weeks, Justin actually started to feel good. An idea began to formulate in his brain. “I have a final project -- if it’s good enough, it’ll be part of the end-of-semester show. I’m supposed to do a portrait. I... I, uh, don’t suppose you’d pose for me?”

Brian considered the idea. Though he wouldn’t admit it, he missed spending time with Justin. If he was posing with Justin, it wouldn’t be like they were dating or hanging out together. It would be...business. “What kind of portrait?”

“Uh, a life study.”

“Nude?” Brian lodged his tongue firmly in his cheek. 

Justin now grinned. “Yeah. And don’t pull any of that false modesty bullshit. You love having people look at you.”

“Anonymous fucking in the backroom is one thing...”

But Justin was caught up in the idea and wouldn’t let it go. Without thinking, he climbed across the couch, up Brian’s body to face him. “Please, Brian. It would really help me. I can already visualize the layout.” Justin was between Brian’s knees, arms braced on either side of Brian’s chest, his face inches away from Brian’s. Blue eyes pleaded with hazel ones. “Say yes.”

The transformation occurring in Justin was nothing short of miraculous. When he’d entered the loft he was sullen and mopey, now there was excitement and enthusiasm for his project, and an earnestness in his eyes as he waited for Brian’s decision.

Brian couldn’t say no.

Heaving an exaggerated sigh, and making a big production about it, he acquiesced, “I suppose I could find a bit of time in my busy schedule to help out a starving artist.”

“Really Brian?! Oh... thank you! Thank you!” Justin smiled a thousand-watt smile and hurled himself, squirming and wiggling in excitement, into Brian’s arms while littering kisses all over Brian’s face. 

In self-defense, Brian flipped Justin over, pinning the younger man beneath him. All of a sudden the mood in the room changed from happy and playful to sultry and seductive. They stared at one another as the seconds ticked off, then Brian slowly lowered his head; Justin raised up halfway to meet him. Their lips brushed in a whisper of a touch. Justin’s mouth parted and Brian could feel soft pants of warm, moist air escape. His tongue darted out to trace the edges of Justin’s lips. 

Justin’s breathing became erratic. He fought to keep it under control, but Brian was too close, and his body betrayed him. For the first time in weeks he really felt like fucking instead of just going through the motions. Afterwards, his mind would admit that it was Brian who made the difference. But for now, lost in the moment, lost in Brian’s arms, he was oblivious to the absolute hold the older man had over him. Justin was simply happy to be here with Brian and enjoy their time together. 

Brian dipped his head taking Justin in a powerful kiss, only tugging back when forced to by lack of oxygen. Justin whimpered at the loss of contact, even as he pulled air deep into his lungs. His chest expanded and pushed against Brian who responded by letting his full weight blanket Justin’s body. Slowly, Brian’s lips began an insistent pressure against Justin’s -- rubbing back and forth and pressing until they separated, allowing his tongue to invade the warmth within. For a moment Justin wished he could paint this... paint this feeling... paint them together... Then Brian moved to nuzzle the sensitive point between his ear and his neck and Justin abandoned all thought.

They made out on the sofa like teenagers for what seemed like hours, their mouths exploring, bodies rubbing against one another, their clothes a sensual barrier that only heightened the awareness of their need for one another.

Finally, when Justin thought he could take it no longer, Brian braced a foot on the floor and sat up, pulling Justin with him. “C’mon.”

They retreated to the bedroom. Still standing, they divested each other of their clothes. Justin’s shirt was pulled over his head, as he tried to unbutton Brian’s. Brian pulled away and yanked the still-buttoned shirt over his head. He moved closer to Justin, kissing him and rubbing their cloth-covered crotches together. Justin reached between them but had only managed to release the top button on Brian’s jeans before the older man shoved his cargo pants down to his ankles and pushed him back onto the bed. The fall caused Justin’s feet to leave the floor and Brian pulled the pants off and flung them across the room. 

Still wearing his jeans, Brian slid up Justin’s body. The rough texture of the denim elicited a moan from Justin as it made contact with his cock. Brian ground his covered dick against Justin’s and the moan became a purr.

“Brian...” Justin pushed at the jeans, wanting to strip away the final obstacle that stood between them. “Brian...”

Brian rose up, popping the buttons out of their holes and shoving the jeans down to his knees before covering Justin once again with his body. With a couple of shakes and pushes, the jeans heaped at the foot of the bed and he was free. He captured Justin’s mouth and reveled in the touch of skin against skin...finally. He sighed into the warm wetness of Justin’s mouth as he brushed his tongue along pearly teeth and the fine sandpaper of Justin’s tongue.

Impatiently, Justin began to grab and pull at him. He wanted Brian closer... He needed more of him... He needed Brian inside him.

With unhurried hands, Brian stroked and soothed Justin in an effort to calm him. But it was to no avail. Justin became more persistent and Brian accepted the fact that this first time would be hard and fast. Grabbing the lube from the bedside table he worked to prepare Justin. Once satisfied that Justin was sufficiently ready, he took only the time necessary to sheath himself before lifting Justin’s legs to his shoulders and burying himself deep within the younger man’s hot, tight hole.

“Brian!” Justin’s relief was evident.

_This is good. So good, nothing compares._ Brian recognized that what they had together was different. _This is right._

Despite how good it felt, and how much he wanted to just stay there, buried deep inside Justin, it had been too long. Too long for both of them. Justin bucked against Brian, his body begging the older man to move. Brian’s own body responded, and soon he was driving hard, thrusting fiercely, burying himself deep, only to pull back and begin again. With each push he could feel Justin coming closer, moving with him in unison. Justin reached down between them to stroke himself, only to have Brian push his hand away.

“I’ll do it,” Brian panted, as he began to stroke him off.

Justin undulated against the thrust of Brian’s hips, arching as Brian’s hand moved him closer to his limit. He felt his body tighten and he ached to be set free. Finally, when he was sure he could take no more, Brian swooped down for a kiss, then whispered in his ear, “Come. Now.” Justin crumbled and gave himself over to Brian wholly and completely. 

Brian felt Justin’s muscles bear down and relinquished any thought of resistance. The older man felt the complete and utter surrender as his body found it’s answering release.

Later, after the little details of separation, and disposing of come-filled condoms...after a shower washing away the sweat and the come and the scent of their time together...after all the evidence had been removed...Justin could still smell Brian on his skin -- feel Brian inside him. Lying in bed, he listened to Brian’s deep, even breaths. He shifted closer and Brian’s arm that was loosely draped across his chest tightened.

It should have made him feel good, this unconscious possessiveness that Brian would never acknowledge when awake but that was evident in his sleep. It should have made Justin feel better, but it didn’t. A sad whimper escaped his lips and a single tear ran down his cheek. _This is what I want. This is what I need. This is what I will never have._ It was all so clear now. During all those weeks with Brian, he’d fallen in love with him. Everything else might have been just another fuck, but with Brian, it was anything but. _Shit!_.

Brian’s arm no longer warmed him; he only felt constriction. He felt confined; he had to escape... had to leave. Now. Justin shifted and tried to dislodge the arm that held him. 

“Hey.” Brian whispered sleepily in his ear. “What’s wrong?”

Justin struggled, but Brian held him firm. “I... I’ve got to go... I’ve got an early class tomorrow.”

Brian snorted. “You’re forgetting. Tomorrow’s Sunday.”

“I’ve got a project due...” Justin offered lamely. He could hear the panic rising in his voice, feel his body reacting. Could Brian?

“I know.” Brian chuckled. “I promised to help you with it -- remember? Now go to sleep. Tomorrow we’ll drive over to school, you’ll get your shit, and we’ll get started on your project.”

Justin sighed and slumped.

“Hey...don’t worry. I said I’d help you and I will,” Brian cajoled, reading the situation entirely wrong. He grinned, “Besides, with me as the subject, they won’t dare give you less than an ‘A’. I’ll expect my portrait to be the centerpiece of your art show.”

Justin couldn’t help but smile. The man had no modesty. He’d worry about the rest tomorrow. Tonight he was here, lying next to the man he loved. He snuggled closer to Brian. Tomorrow would come soon enough.

“Better.” Brian settled Justin close into his body. He nuzzled Justin’s neck. “Of course now that I’m awake and you’ve gotten me _up_... I believe you owe me something for disturbing my beauty sleep...”

~~~~~~

They never did make it to PIFA. It was futile. When it came to Brian, Justin’s resistance was non-existent. They spent the entire day in bed -- well, fucking in bed. And in the shower... on the couch... on any flat, horizontal surface... and even a few vertical ones. 

By 5:30, they’d made it back to the bed again. Justin was just drifting off to sleep when Brian’s cell rang. Brian propped himself up and reached across the younger man to answer the phone.

“Hello? Hello?”

“Mikey...” Brian teased the name out.

“Brian? Where the fuck are you?”

Brian leaned back against the mattress and Justin rolled against him in his sleep. He gathered the younger man to his side. Absently, he stroked the silky blond strands as he quelled the desire to hang up on Michael. “Michael, what do you want? I’m busy.”

“You were supposed to pick me up a half hour ago. We’re supposed to be at Ma’s at six. It’s ten of now.”

“I don’t know that I’ll be able to make it.”

“Bri-aaaan...” 

_Christ! Was Michael always this whiny?_

Annoyed, Brian nearly ended the phone call. But then Justin shifted closer and started rubbing his body against Brian’s. Justin was purring -- _purring!_ It made Brian smile -- he nearly forgot his phone call.

“Brian!”

“Mikey, I’m busy. Tell Debbie I’ll make it next week.” And with that he did end the call.

Justin breathed deeply and exhaled loudly. The sound was full of satisfaction. He stretched and yawned and rubbed himself against Brian once more before propping himself up on one arm. Remnants of annoyance still tinged Brian’s face. “What did Michael want?”

“Attention.”

“Hmmmm.” Justin leaned in and nuzzled Brian’s neck. He rubbed his hardening cock against Brian’s hip and smiled. “Me, too.”

~~~~~~~

In the morning, Brian took Justin to Daphne’s and waited in the car while he went up to change. He returned in a fresh pair of cargos and a new T-shirt, carrying his backpack. Then Brian dropped him off at PIFA.

“Well, thanks...” Justin’s hand reached for the door handle, but hesitated as Brian leaned across and locked the door, barring his exit. 

“You forgot something.”

Justin looked at him with questioning eyes. “Uh, thanks? I had a good time...last night?”

Brian gave a little chuckle and leaned in for a kiss. 

Justin closed his eyes in anticipation. He could feel the heat radiating off of Brian as the warm, moist breath teased and caressed his lips -- Brian’s mouth nearly, but not quite, touching his own. Now it was Justin who leaned in, pushing closer until finally their lips met. It was Justin who initiated the kiss. It was Justin who slicked his tongue along Brian’s lips, painting their outline. It was Justin who slipped into Brian’s mouth in soft exploration, making the older man moan. But it was Brian whose hand clasped the back of Justin’s neck and deepened the kiss.

Finally, regretfully, Brian broke the connection. He looked into Justin’s blinking blue eyes and softly said, “Later.” And with that, he unlocked the door and released the handle.

Grabbing his backpack from the back seat, Justin opened the door and stepped one leg out before turning to Brain. His smile was full force. “Later.”


	18. I can’t get no...

The next few weeks passed in a blur. Justin and Brian had returned to their undefined, unconventional relationship, meeting nightly at Babylon or Woody’s, picking up tricks then retreating to Brian’s loft where their time together and the sex was more satisfying. 

Brian posed for Justin, who felt totally inspired. He managed to finish the painting for his course in record time. He also was able to catch up with the other schoolwork he’d let lapse when he was wallowing in self-pity and tricking to all hours of the night.

For a while, life was good and Justin was content. For a while.

As the semester wound down, Justin found himself concentrating on his studies -- which he had a renewed passion for -- and ultimately spent less time tricking with Brian. More often than not, he’d end up at Babylon at the end of the night, just in time to accompany Brian home. Brian wrote off the change in behavior to the demands of schoolwork. But Justin acknowledged the true reason for his shift in conduct. 

Tricking had become less and less satisfying as Justin realized that it was a means to an end. The end being spending time with Brian in or out of bed. He was actually beginning to dread the completion of the semester when he would no longer have the convenient excuse of schoolwork as a way to avoid tricking. He feared that once Brian discovered the real reason he was avoiding tricking the older man would once again disappear from his life.

He was sitting on his bed trying to figure out what he was going to do when Daphne stuck her head in the door.

“Hey!”

“Hey.” 

The dull response alerted her that something was wrong. “What’s going on?”

Justin looked at the shirt in his hands, and then stuffed it into his backpack. “Nothing.”

“Want to go out tonight? See a movie?”

“I can’t... I’ve got to meet...”

“Brian.” They said it simultaneously.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t sound too happy about it.”

“Yeah... well...”

“So don’t do something with him, do something with me!” She smiled at him.

A grin pulled at the edges of his lips, but quickly vanished. “Unfortunately, I’m think we’ll have plenty of time together soon.”

“Why?” she took a seat next to him on the bed. “ Are you and Brian breaking up?”

“Can’t break up if we never were going out.”

“I thought things were going pretty well. I mean, there definitely has been a decline in the number of men on the landing when I get home. Even Ian’s gotten the message.”

“Well, I’m glad Ian... Ethan’s moved on. But I probably should have taken names and numbers on the others. I don’t think Brian’s going to want me around much longer.”

She slung an arm around his shoulder. “Tell sister Daphne all about it.”

And Justin did just that.

“I’m going to have to tell him.”

“I don’t see why -- if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

“Well, it may not be broke, but it’s definitely fucked up. Besides, he’s not dumb, he’s going to figure out something’s going on. He’s already hinted about the fact that I must be looking forward to the semester ending so I can resume my normal nightly activities.”

“Ugh!”

“Daph, I don’t want to fuck around. I don’t want to be with anyone other than Brian.”

“You could just tell him. Maybe he feels the same way.”

Justin shook his head. “No. He likes tricking -- no, that isn’t the right -- it’s like tricking feeds him somehow.”

Daphne crinkled her nose. “I don’t understand why you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you exclusively.”

“Well, sure I’d like it if he wanted to be with me and only me. But that’s not Brian -- that’s not who he is. The tricks aren’t personal -- they’re an outlet. I mean, it’s not like I’m threatened by it. I can see that he’s different with me than with his tricks. They don’t bother me. I don’t have to have him all to myself. I just don’t want to have to trick anymore.”

Daphne bit the inside of her cheek and looked up at Justin. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m going to ride this thing as long as I can. I love him, Daphne. I need him.”

~~~~~

“Well, well, well... what brings you to this fine establishment so early on a school night, Mr. Taylor?” Brian smirked over his glass as Justin joined him at the bar. “Is the semester finally over?”

“No, ten more days to go, then finals.”

“Taking a study break?”

“More like a fucking break -- care to join me?”

Brian looked out over the crowd, “The pickings are a bit slim tonight... but it’s early.” He fingered Justin’s hair. “I might even be talked into taking a trip to the backroom by a certain blond twink.”

“I was thinking that it might be nicer to have something soft under me while you fucked my brains out.”

“Hmmmm...” Brian sounded as if he were mulling over the idea. Truthfully, it was a no-brainer. Fucking Justin -- in the backroom, at his loft, any fucking place -- was a hell of a lot more satisfying than sticking around Babylon on the off chance something better would come along. Not that he’d ever admit that, especially to the blond next to him.

“I don’t suppose you brought an overnight bag?”

“I checked it with my coat.”

“Good boy!”

~~~~~~

Brian rolled over and reached for a cigarette. He pulled the smoke into his lungs then let it out through his nose in a slow, steady stream. 

There was nothing else like fucking Justin. He’d begun to acknowledge the difference between his time with Justin and the anonymous tricks that floated in and out of his life. It was like a map of Brian’s body had been burnt onto the blond’s brain. Justin had studied and knew every pleasure point on his body; and his student had earned high marks in eliciting the most satisfying of responses. 

Ever time they came together, every touch... there was a connection. With tricks Brian didn’t want to connect... with tricks he wanted that basic release, and then he wanted nothing more to do with them. With Justin it was different. With Justin he wanted to stay... connected.

Justin shifted in his sleep closer to Brian. Brian took one last draw on the cigarette and stubbed it out in the bedside ashtray. His hand free at last, he brushed stray strands from the blond’s forehead and studied his face. In sleep, Justin looked even younger than he did awake. Young and innocent. Well, perhaps not so innocent, not any longer. A smile flitted across his lips. No, the boy was far from innocent -- he'd seen to that. But young... definitely young. 

At thirty-two Brian was feeling his age. Getting older was the one thing he feared. Every day he’d study his face in the mirror, scrutinizing it for each new line that would ultimately form a wrinkle. He spent a small fortune on French anti-aging shit -- not that it was performing any miracles. Maybe he wasn’t looking any older, but he knew he wasn’t looking any younger. 

He should hate Justin with his fresh face, flawless skin and easy smile. Justin was a reminder of the beauty Brian felt fading. There was an ingenuousness about him. Something Brian never had. There was no carefree childhood with happy memories of his youth. But with Justin he could almost imagine what it might be like. With Justin, he felt young, and strong and invincible.

He studied that beautiful face for a few more minutes then wrapping his arms around the younger man settled along his back and drifted off to sleep. 

In his arms, Justin let the smile he’d been holding back steal across his lips. Even if his time with Brian was fleeting, for now he was here with him. That would have to be enough.


	19. When you least expect it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author’s Note -- Lengthy, but please read anyway:** Boy, when I titled the chapter, I should have known better. After sending this chapter off to my beta I began reading a new fic by an author on bjfic.net (bjfic.net is no longer in existence.) While my beta was working hard I became engrossed in the story and was quickly reading chapter after chapter. When I got to a certain point in the story, the plot point became very familiar -- too familiar. It was eerily similar to what I had just sent off to my beta. Obviously a coincidence, since this person had already posted their story (which I had not read before sending the latest chapter to my beta) and I had not yet posted mine. 
> 
> I became uncomfortable with the similarities and contacted the author (unfortunately I did not hear back from him/her). I really did not want to re-write the chapter. So I posed the question of what I should do to a couple of folks who are involved in some of the BJfic archiving communities. After conferring with these people, who I felt to be impartial and whose opinions I respect, it was suggested to me that there really wasn’t any reason not to go ahead and post the chapter [as is, without re-write]. However, they did suggested it might be a good idea include an author’s note explaining the issue that had arisen. After further discussion with some other folks, it was pointed out to me that, from time to time, these sort of things do occur as we are working in a like framework given the attempt to try to stay in character. So if you see something familiar, you now understand it an unfortunate and unintentional coincidence, and that no malice is meant. 
> 
> By the way, the fic was Bedeviled’s A Love That Will Never Grow Old. I really enjoyed it and recommend it if you can survive a bit of angst.

Justin came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. Brian was shrugging into a silk shirt the color of ripe eggplant.

_He’s so hot!_

“Thanks.” Brian smirked and Justin colored as he realized he’d voiced his thoughts. Brian laughed. “If you move your ass, I’ll drop you off at school.”

“I’ll be quick.” Justin dropped the towel and bent to pick his clothes out of his backpack.

Brian shook his head, the boy was fucking with him.

~~~~~~

“Get in the car.”

Justin looked up to see Brian leaning against the Jeep. He’d just finished his last final and was heading to the bus stop. What was Brian doing here? _Shit! What did I do?_ Brian didn’t look happy. Justin swallowed and did as he was told. Brian waited for Justin to latch his seatbelt before pulling away from the curb.

Justin looked hesitantly at Brian. The older man wasn’t talking and Justin took it as a cue. He remained silent as Brian wound his way through traffic. But instead of driving back across town to the loft or even over to Daphne’s apartment, he headed west out of town. _Whatthefuck?_

When they reached a stretch of highway west of the city, Justin could no longer contain his curiosity. He wet his lips, “Uh, Brian?”

“Hmmm?”

“Where’re we going?”

Brian ignored the question, “Today was your last final right?”

“Yes, the last one.”

“And you don’t start your summer internship for two weeks, right?”

Justin nodded his head, then realizing he hadn’t said anything answered, “Yeah...”

“So you don’t have any more classes or shit to do for like a week.”

“Uh-huh...?”

“Did you do well on your finals?”

“I’m pretty sure I aced them. But Art History is the only class where the final is a majority of the grade. The final projects for Life Studies, Graphic Design and Computer Animation are already graded - all ‘A’s.” He finished with a smug little smile. “I did tell you your portrait got an ‘A’, didn’t I?”

Brian smirked, “Was there any doubt, given the subject?”

Justin smiled back then noticed that Brian was exiting for the airport. “Are you going on a business trip? Did you need me to take the Jeep back to the loft for you?”

Brian shook his head and grabbed a ticket for long-term parking. “I’m not sure that I ever gave you my philosophy on celebrations.”

Justin looked puzzled.

“I don’t celebrate birthdays. Why should I, they're just a reminder that you’re getting older. It isn’t any great accomplishment to be born. You just are. I believe in celebrating accomplishments. It seems to me that finishing the semester with a 4.0 is cause for celebration.”

Justin held his breath. _What was Brian planning?_

“I figured since I factored into your most excellent grade point average, I deserved to celebrate as well.” He passed Justin an envelope containing two printed first class boarding passes.

Justin quickly scanned the documents. “New York?! We’re going to New York?! You’re taking me to fucking New York City?!”

“And who says that education is wasted on the young?”

“Thank you!” Justin covered Brian’s face with kisses, before meeting the older man’s mouth with his.

Brian relished the happy and enthusiastic kiss for a few minutes before breaking it off. “Enough! We’ve got a plane to catch, grab your backpack.” Brian alighted from the Jeep, grabbed an overnight bag from the back seat and started for the terminal bus stop.

“Wait!” Justin ran to catch up with him. “I don’t have anything with me. No clothes, no stuff -- no toothbrush.”

Brian looked down at him. “Do you really think you’ll be needing clothes?”

Justin blushed. “I’ve only been to New York once before, and that was like years ago. I was hoping I’d -- we’d -- have time to visit a couple of museums. And the clubs... oh shit, Brian, the clubs have got to be hot! I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Relax Sunshine, this trip includes shopping. You don’t think that I’d be seen in public with you looking like that? If you don’t have clothes with you, you’ll have to wear what I provide.” Brian smiled at that. Naked Justin and Brian-styled Justin. Whether it was Kenneth Cole or Calvin Klein, he didn’t care as long as it wasn’t cargo pants and printed t-shirts. He might even be willing to spring for some Armani sportswear. “We have appointments tomorrow morning at a few stores. In the afternoon we have tickets for the Cézanne exhibit at the Met. Tomorrow night we’ll see what New York nightlife has to offer. And after a leisurely day on Sunday, we’ll pack up our purchases and return to Pitts, with New York just a fond memory.”

Justin frowned. They hadn’t even left yet and Brian had them back in boring old Pittsburgh.

Brian slung and arm around him. “C’mon, we don’t want to miss our flight.”

~~~~~~

Brian smiled to himself as he watched Justin’s eyes droop and his breathing even out. Fine little WASP that he was, he wasn’t even phased by the overstuffed seats and individual service of the first-class cabin. There were perks to being the account manager for Liberty Air. _He’ll probably hit me for not waking him up for the meal service._ Brian chuckled at the thought. 

~~~~~~

“The fucking Plaza?” Justin whispered it after the older man had given the driver their destination. Brian reached across the seat and pulled Justin into his arms. Justin hesitated, but only for a moment, they weren’t in Pittsburgh, they were in New York fucking City, and Brian was being affectionate beyond his wildest dreams. _I could die happy... right now._

~~~~~~

They never made it out of the room Friday night. Between the view of the park and Brian’s arms around him, the mini-bar and room service -- who knew you could order condoms through room service -- they had everything they could want or need.

Saturday came a bit too early for Justin. Brian was lounging in a white Plaza robe sipping coffee and reading the New York Times when Justin awoke. They’d fucked half the night. He hadn’t remembered being this sore since the first time he and Brian spent the whole night together.

Brian noted the movement on the bed. “You need to get up soon. Our first appointment is at 9:30.”

Justin stretched and yawned. “What time is it now?”

“A little past eight. We have time for a shower.”

“In that tub?”

Brian looked past the bed into the bathroom. “Hmmm, I see your point. It isn’t even big enough to take a bath together.”

“For a five star hotel, they seem to be lacking in the basic necessities,” Justin snarked just a bit.

“Next time, I’ll let you research the bathroom options.” _What the fuck? This was a one-time deal, Kinney. Don’t lead the boy on._

Justin rolled his lip to hide the smile. _Maybe they could have a future together._

Justin hopped out of bed and used the bathroom. He’d begun to take a shower when Brian joined him. He yelped and dropped the soap.

“Shit, you weren’t kidding. There’s no fucking room in here.”

“And no room for fucking!” Justin quipped. “You’ll just have to wait your turn.”

Brian reached out and grabbed him. _Christ! The little fucker was slippery with soap._ He gave up and sat down on the toilet lid and decided to wait.

“So how long do you think shopping is going to take?”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Well, I don’t really need much. I was thinking that if you were going to be a while, I’d have time to go to the Guggenheim this morning while you shopped.” Justin said it with a smile.

Brian gave a long suffering sigh. “You’re going and that’s final. If I have to suffer for art’s sake this afternoon, you can suffer for fashion’s sake this morning.”

“But... but... I just need something to wear today and tonight. Not even that -- did my cleaning come back yet?” Brian had bundled up all of Justin’s clothes and handed them off to the bell hop with strict instructions that the cleaning needed to be done as soon as possible. “I bet for what you’re paying in cleaning, we could have just bought something from the lobby store.”

“What and miss out on you in your cargo pants and that FCUK t-shirt?” the words dripped with sarcasm.

Justin pulled the shower curtain aside and sweetly cooed “I thought you liked my FCUK t-shirt -- after all, it has all your favorite letters.”

Brian grabbed him and pulled the wet young man into his lap, the hotel toweling robe absorbing most of the moisture. Brian growled and took possession of Justin’s mouth.

“Brian! I’m all wet and slippery.”

“Good, it’ll save me time.”

~~~~~

They ended up taking a cab to the first store. They’d fucked around too long in the bathroom.

“Mr. Kinney, how nice to see you again!”

“Good to see you again, as well, Alistair.”

Justin nearly gagged at the overly fawning little man, with his neatly trimmed mustache. _He’s worse than Michael._ “You come here often?” Justin whispered to Brian. Brian ignored him.

“And is this must be the young man you were telling me about.” Alistair circled Justin, who raised his eyebrows at Brian. “Yes, yes, I see what you mean. I think we can improve on what he’s wearing. You were right, Kenneth Cole, perhaps Calvin Klein... will you excuse me? I believe I have just the thing. Perhaps you would like some coffee while you wait. I’ll send Marta in.” The little man scurried away.

Brian took a seat in one of the wingback chairs, as Justin wandered the shop. Not his usual store. For one, there weren’t stacks of jeans and pants in varying sizes. Actually, it appeared that they only had one of any item. He didn’t understand how they could stay in business. Then he looked at the discretely hidden tag in the sleeve of a sweater. _Holy Shit!_ He quietly made his way back to Brian, who appeared to be deep in conversation with a tall, elegant blonde in a deceptively simple black dress.

“Thank you, I’ll take a plain coffee. Justin would you like something?”

“Just some water, thanks.”

Marta hurried off to retrieve the drinks.

“Brian, maybe we can try some other stores...”

“Don’t see any cargo pants?” Brian smiled at him.

“Don’t see anything I can afford.”

“Relax, I’ve got it covered.”

“Brian, there’s no way... I need the money I’m earning with my internship for tuition this fall. I can’t be frivolous.”

“Frivolous, huh? What did you score on your SATs?”

“1500 -- what does that have to do with anything?”

“Don’t worry about the clothes. They’re part of the celebration. At least you will have something decent to wear today and tomorrow. You can go back to looking like skate rat when we get back to the Pitts.”

Marta returned with a small serving cart and a china coffee pot, cup and saucer for Brian. She poured Brian’s coffee and handed it to him. She unscrewed the bottle of Evian and poured it into a heavy glass tumbler and handed it to Justin. Then she turned and headed to the back of the store.

Alistair wheeled in a rolling rod full of clothes. “Here we are. Something for day wear, something for evening wear. And I have a few items that might be appropriate for nightclubs, but if you don’t see anything you like, I can refer you to a store in the Village that might be more to your taste, young man.” Alistair smiled at Justin. “If you’ll follow me?” He gestured toward a dressing room subtly hidden in what Justin had thought was walled paneling.

Throwing a helpless look over his shoulder at Brian, he entered the dressing room the little man indicated. He drew the line at having the little man accompany him.

Brian was enjoying the show. For all of Justin’s country club upbringing, he obviously hadn’t ventured beyond the mall when it came to clothes shopping.

Most everything fit fine, except in the length of the trousers. Since it was more casual wear and not like fitting a suit, the work to take up the hems could be done that morning. He felt a bit awkward modeling the items for Brian, but he figured if he cooperated, they’d probably get out of the store faster. 

Brian gave a nod of approval to a pair of dress pants and two pairs of jeans - one blue one black. There was a deep blue silk shirt, a white dress shirt, and simple oxford cloth light blue shirt. 

“No, no, no, that will not do. It needs something.” Alistair looked around the shop and finally seized on the sweater that Justin had noticed earlier. He brought it back to Justin. “This is what it needs. Well... put it on...” he prodded when Justin hesitated.

Justin pulled the fine, lightweight cashmere sweater over his head. He couldn’t resist running his fingers along the sleeves to smooth it out and appreciate the softness of the material. He’d never touched anything so soft.

Brian caught the look on Justin’s face and nodded his head at Alistair, “We’ll take that too.”

“Brian! You can’t.”

“Sunshine, there’s no way you aren’t having that sweater.” He handed Alistair a gold card to cover the purchases. _It would be worth it just to watch Justin touch it._ When they got back to the hotel room, he planned to strip him naked and wrap him in it.

Alistair disappeared to the back of the shop. Justin went to change while Brian paid for the purchases. Alistair retrieved the clothes from the dressing room. He returned a few minutes later with a shopping bag and assured Brian that the altered trousers would be at the hotel no later than 1pm.

The next two stops were Gucci and Prada. Brian bought four pairs of shoes for himself and a pair of Gucci loafers for Justin. “You’re not wearing those sneakers the rest of this trip.” Before they left Gucci, he added a belt to their purchases.

The last stop was Armani. This time it was Justin who sat in the chair. Once again Brian was afforded the same fawning service that they’d received in each of the stores they’d visited. Brian tried on several suits. Justin thought he looked great in each of them. But when Brian came out to show him the last one, he sat up straight in the chair. Noting his response, Brian turned and looked at himself in the mirror. He was fucking hot. _I’d fuck me._ The fabric color of the suit was suitable for spring, summer or fall wear. It was just the right color with his skin tone. With the proper accessories, it would kill in the board room.

“I’ll take it.” Brian suffered through the fitting for the slight alterations and hemming necessary. He arranged to have the suit shipped to Pittsburgh and grabbing Justin the two carried their bags back to the Plaza.

“I fucking hate shopping.” Justin collapsed with their bags on the bed. 

Brian noticed the blinking red light and went to the phone to retrieve their messages. The concierge informed him that Justin’s clothes had arrived and had been hung in the closet. He also informed Brian that he’d managed to get a reservation at the restaurant he’d requested.

Brian looked at his watch. They had a little less than 2 hours before they had to be at the Met for their entrance time to the Cézanne exhibit. Justin was lying on the bed, his fingers idly stroking the sleeve of the sweater that had escaped from the shopping bag. Brian smiled, he had plans for that sweater... “I fucking love shopping.”

~~~~~~

“I can’t believe we’re going to be late!” Justin trudged up the huge steps at the Met.

“Relax, Sunshine.” Brian tugged Justin into his arms. He had a genuine smile on his face as he petted Justin. He fucking loved the sweater.

“I can take it off and you can find a bathroom stall to have some alone time with it,” Justin offered.

Brian smirked, but didn’t say anything. Museums weren’t exactly his thing. He appreciated art -- he just preferred it in a less institutional setting. He had a good, if basic, knowledge of established artists. Unbeknownst to Justin, he’d even taken to reading the Sunday New York Times Arts and Leisure portion of the paper and had subscribed to the email version of the paper to keep up on current art trends.

They made their way through the exhibit in about three hours, then stopped at the museum's cafe for a bite when Justin’s stomach rumbled. The museum had so transfixed Justin by all there was to offer, Brian called back to the hotel and told the concierge to cancel their reservations for dinner. They stayed until closing.

They strolled back along Fifth Avenue to the hotel, where they changed before heading downtown. 

The cab let them off on the corner of 7th Avenue and Christopher Street. They ended up wandering around the Village looking for a place to eat. It was a little after ten on a Saturday night, and the wait at most restaurants was about an hour. 

Unwilling to wait, they ended up at Cafe ShaSha on Hudson. Brian was sure that Justin chose it for the rainbow flags and the extensive offerings of desserts and pastries. It was little more than a coffee place and bar, but Brian was able to find some soup and picked at half of Justin’s sandwich. Justin was happy to share as he announced he was leaving room for dessert.

It was after eleven when they left the cafe. Brian had a list of clubs he wanted to check out. He flagged down a cab and grabbed Justin’s hand.

They’d hit several stops. The clubs were fun, the guys were hot, but other than the decor and the lines around the block they weren’t much different from Babylon. If you looked closely, you could see that the hard life of the city had taken it's toll in more ways than one. In fact, to Brian’s jaded eyes, the clubs seemed a bit worn and frayed around the edges.

They made it to Splash at around 2 am. The thumpa-thumpa of the music drew Justin onto the dance floor, and Brian followed along. They danced for a while, then took a break for a drink. Leaning against the bar, Brian scanned the dance floor for potential tricks. Each time he pointed one out to Justin, Justin just shook his head and smiled. 

Justin didn’t want to trick. He’d enjoyed the clubs and the atmosphere, but there really wasn’t anything more here than at home. Oh the packaging was different, but underneath it all, it was basically the same. He simply wasn’t going to feel pressured to trick. He hadn’t intended that his not tricking should stop Brian from tricking. But Brian had been reluctant to leave Justin on his own in an unfamiliar club even if it was only for fifteen minutes.

Brian ordered another round of drinks and was paying the bartender when a dark-haired man approached Justin and whispered in his ear. Justin smiled and shook his head. Brian moved back to where Justin was and handed him a drink. The trick looked at Brian appraisingly and raised an eyebrow. Justin broke out laughing. Brian hid a grin behind his glass as the trick moved away in a huff.

Placing his glass on the bar, he took Justin’s glass from him and slung an arm around the younger man’s shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: This AU is season 3 - 2003 - the Plaza Hotel still existed at that time. The hotel underwent much needed renovations, part is now condo. It reopened in 2007. The guest bathrooms in 2003 had hideous wallpaper left over from the late sixties on the ceiling. And Brian’s right, two can’t fit in the tub, let alone take a shower together


	20. It Comes to a Head

It was after four a.m. by the time they’d made it back to their suite at the Plaza. They fucked until dawn, then slept until noon. 

They lingered over lunch in the Palm Court, Brian reading the New York Times, Justin people watching and sketching. 

Brian had hoped for a bit of shopping in the village before their flight. However, he couldn’t find it in his heart to deny Justin’s wish to visit the Guggenheim. Justin spent the remaining hours they had left in New York studying Kandisnky, while Brian studied Justin. 

By 5:30 p.m. they were once again ensconced in their first class seats, Justin’s eyelids drooping as they waited for their flight to be cleared for take-off. Before the plane had climbed to cruising altitude, Justin was asleep.

Brian reached out and brushed golden strands across Justin’s forehead, tucking the longer ones behind his ear. Justin murmured in his sleep and shifted closer. Brian removed his hand from Justin’s face, but allowed his fingers to trail down the younger man’s arm, stroking the soft cashmere of his sweater. Smiling, he remembered how Justin had originally packed the sweater. But, seeing Brian’s look of disappointment at his cargos and FCUK t-shirt, Justin had relented and pulled on the sweater.

Brian’s fingertips had reached the younger man’s upturned palm, when in his sleep, Justin’s fingers clasped and held capturing Brian’s hand, entwining light and darker flesh. 

Brian sat there for a while studying their joined hands. He felt a sense of unease and an unfamiliar pressure in his chest. _Christ! What was he doing?_ With his free hand, Brian flagged down the flight attendant and ordered a double whiskey. He nursed the drink the entire trip home, but never let go of the hand that held his.

Justin was still sleepy when they landed, staying awake only long enough to get to the Jeep. Brian had planned to drop Justin off at Daphne’s, but when Justin fell back to sleep for the ride into Pittsburgh, he took him to the loft instead. Still tired, Justin pressed a kiss to Brian’s lips before climbing the stairs to the bedroom, stripping off his clothes and crawling into bed. 

Brian debated joining him. He stood on the top step into the bedroom and looked down at the golden-haired young man sleeping peacefully in his bed. He moved to the side of the bed where Justin slept and sat gently on the edge, reaching out to softly stroke golden hair. 

“Mmmmm...” Justin turned toward Brian’s hand, eyes shut, still asleep. “... love you, Brian.”

Brian recoiled. He rose from the bed and moved to the stairs. He scrubbed his face with his hands; retracing his steps through the loft he grabbed his keys and headed to Woody’s.

The sound of the loft door closing brought Justin briefly out of his sleep. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the bedside clock -- 9:30. Bewildered, Justin wondered if he’d done something wrong. He hadn’t really been paying attention on the plane or the ride home. It was as if the moment he stopped, the entire weekend caught up to him. Still tired, he rolled over and drifted off to sleep again. 

~~~~~~

“Beam,” Brian ordered taking a stool at the end of the bar. The bartender came over to pour the drink. When he’d finished pouring a shot, Brian covered the bartender’s hand, “Leave the bottle.” 

_What the fuck am I doing?”_ He’d gone to New York, spent a thousand dollars on a room with a fucking view of the park. He’d visited the hottest clubs in New York and didn’t even make it to the backroom for a lousy blowjob. He’d spent a couple thousand dollars on clothes for someone else, and he’d spent hours in museums looking at art -- instead of looking at the hot men of New York City. All to make his young lover happy.

_Since when do I give a fuck if someone’s happy?_ But he did give a fuck, and that’s what had him so screwed.

New York had been been a place out of time. It had been like nothing Brian had ever experienced -- like nothing he’d ever _let_ himself experience. It had been a time away from the pressures of work, of friends. He’d been able to do, or not do, whatever the hell he felt like. He’d been happy. He’d made Justin happy. And making Justin happy, made him happy.

“Happy, happy, happy,” he sneered and poured another shot.

~~~~~~

“Isn’t that Brian’s Jeep?” Ben asked Michael. It was close to midnight and they had just turned onto Liberty Avenue. They’d had an enjoyable evening and Ben was dropping Michael home before heading back to his own apartment.

Michael looked out the passenger side window. Sure enough, it was Brian’s Jeep. He nodded. “Pull over.”

Ben pulled to the curb, luckily a parking space was available. Liberty Avenue was usually quieter on Sunday night. 

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of him all weekend. He wasn’t answering his cell phone. I stopped by the loft, but he wasn’t there.” Michael looked up and down the street. “I wonder where he is.”

“Woody’s?”

“Maybe.”

“Look, I’ve got class at eight tomorrow. Why don’t you see if he’s in Woody’s. If he is, you can catch a ride home with him.” He knew that Michael had been worried when he hadn’t been able to contact Brian all weekend.

Michael smiled up at Ben. “You’re the best!” He reached over and grabbed Ben’s head and pulled him down for a kiss. “I owe you.”

Ben smiled back. “You can pay me tomorrow night.” He leaned in for another kiss.

Michael pulled open the door to Woody’s and spotted Brian at the end of the bar. Turning around he signaled to Ben, then headed in to talk to his best friend.

“Hey!” The near empty bottle of Beam in front of his best friend should have warned him.

“Mikey,” Brian slurred the name. His breath was 100 proof. WHOA! Michael stepped back.

“Brian! I’ve been looking for you all weekend. Where’ve you been?”

“New York, fucking New York.” Brian poured himself another shot, but before he could get the glass to his lips Michael’s hand stayed his arm.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

Brian smirked through his drunken haze, “Never enough, Mikey. You should know that.” He pulled his arm away from Michael’s and raised the glass to his lips.

“New York? What the fuck were you doing in New York?! Why didn’t you tell me you were going?”

Brian gestured with his index finger to silence Michael.

“Couldn’t tell you... couldn’t tell anyone... It was a surprise. Wouldn’t have been a surprise if I told the gang.”

“Surprise? What surprise?”

“Justin -- couldn’t have him finding out. I took the best piece of blond boy ass this burg has ever seen to fucking New York City for the goddamn weekend!”

“Brian, you’re not making sense. What the fuck do you care if Justin knows you took some hot trick to New York?”

“You’re not listening, Mikey. I didn’t take some trick to New York -- I took Justin to New York.”

Okay, that rendered Michael speechless... for all of a minute. “Justin?! You took Justin to New York for the weekend?” Michael was stunned. Brian had never taken _him_ anywhere outside of Pittsburgh, let alone the state. Michael’s voice rose an octave and several decibels. “You took that... that twink to New York for the weekend?”

Brian, who had been slowly sobering up as the discussion progressed, flinched. “Christ, Michael, why don’t you shout a bit louder, I’m not sure if they heard you down at the diner.” Brian stood up and threw some bills on the bar. He swept out the door with Michael on his heels.

“Why, Brian? Why’d you do it? Why did you take Justin to New York?” He knew he sounded whiney and nagging, but Brian had never taken _him_ anywhere -- Brian had never taken _anyone_ anywhere. He was Brian’s best friend. What did Justin do to rate a trip to the Big Apple?

Brian sighed; he plopped down on the curb beside his Jeep. No matter what he said, he knew Michael wouldn’t be satisfied. Brian folded his arms on his knees and quietly spoke. “We went there to celebrate an accomplishment. Justin’s accomplishment... and mine.”  
“What? That you’d managed to fuck everyone in Pittsburgh?” Michael stood over him and sneered. “No one left so you and your protégé... your, your apprentice had to go to New York to find new tricks to fuck?” 

“Michael...” he should have been warned by the tone of Brian’s voice.

“I can’t believe you took that little fuck to New York...” It should have been him that Brian took to New York.

“It’s none of your business who I take anywhere.” 

“I’m your best friend.” 

“Then start acting like it! It’s my money and my life. I can do what I want. And if I choose to take Justin to New York, it’s my decision.”

“What is it about Justin? What makes him so goddamn special?” Michael shouted the words at Brian.

“I don’t know!” Brian shouted back in frustration. He looked up into the eyes of his longtime best friend. “I don’t know, Michael,” he shook his head. “I don’t know -- he just is.” Brian lay his head down on his folded arms. All of a sudden he was very tired.

Brian looked defeated. Michael had never really seen him like this. Drunk? Yes. Melancholy? Yes. Defeated? No. He sat down beside his best friend.

They sat like that for about ten minutes. 

Finally, Brian looked over at Michael. “I’m so totally fucked.”

Michael smiled at this. “Maybe, but I think you’re drunk... Come on, I’ll drive you to the loft.”

Brian sighed and lay his head down again. “Can’t. Justin’s at the loft. I can’t see him right now.”

“What the fuck is he doing at the loft? By himself...”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake Michael, he was dead on his feet. He went to bed, I came here. I don’t want to deal with him right now.”

“So he gets your home and you’re out on the street?” Michael shook his head. “Look, you can crash at the apartment. It will be like old times. We might even get Emmett to make us something for breakfast.” 

Michael got up and extended a hand to Brian who grasped it firmly pulling himself up. “Thanks, Mikey.” He fumbled for his keys and handed them over to Michael.

Unlocking the car, Michael made sure Brian was buckled up in the passenger seat before rounding the vehicle and slipping in behind the wheel.

~~~~~~

The light streaming in the loft windows finally dragged Justin into consciousness. He looked around the loft. Something wasn’t right. He reached out for Brian’s side of the bed -- it was cold. Brian‘s pillow was still plumped and round -- no indentation from his head. 

Justin frowned. Brian hadn’t come home last night. _What’s going on?_

~~~~~~

Across town Brian was trying to figure out where he was. Every time he tried to open his eyes a blinding pain would flash across his head. He decided it was better to keep them shut. His back hurt like a bitch. He was on some piece of shit lumpy sofa that was too short for his legs. He swung his feet to the floor - intending to stretch his cramped limbs, but instead found himself rolling onto the rug with a thud.

“Christ!” He opened his eyes and immediately shut them as his head exploded in pain. “Fuck!” He made several attempts to get up, finally using the couch as leverage to hoist himself to his unsteady feet. He tried opening up one eye, and managed to focus on the couch. He was at Michael and Emmett’s apartment.

“Well, well, well, the dead do rise.” Emmett’s overly chipper voice greeted him.

“Honeycutt.” That was the best he could do.

“Michael had to go to work -- something about inventory. He asked me to give you your keys and let you know that you could stay here as long as you like.” Emmett handed Brian his key ring. “Some of us have to work for a living, so I’m off to Torso. Please lock up when you leave.” And with that, Emmett flitted out the door. 

Brian stared at the keys in his hand. Then looked to the coffee table where his wallet and cell phone lay. Picking up the phone he called Cynthia at the office. He told her to cancel his appointments for the day, he’d be working from home. He stuffed his wallet into his pocket and headed out the door.

~~~~~

When he arrived at the loft, there was no sign of Justin. Intent on a shower he climbed the stairs to the bedroom and came to a halt. The bed was made, and there on top of the duvet was a neatly folded stack of clothes, at the top of which lay the cashmere sweater and a folded piece of paper.

Brian sat on the bed and ran his fingers across the sweater before grabbing the note and reading it.

 

_Brian,_

_I’m not quite sure what I did wrong, but I want you to know that I’m sorry. I don’t know why you didn’t come home last night. Maybe you found a trick and went home with him. When I woke up this morning and you weren’t here I knew that something was wrong. I never meant to push you out of your own home._

_I want to thank you for the wonderful weekend in New York. The trip will always be one of the best memories of my life. You’re kindness and generosity will always stay with me. You’ve always tried to help me be my best._

_Now, I’m faced with the fact that we need different things. Things that I’m not willing to compromise on, and things that I don’t want you to have to sacrifice. I know you’ll say it’s silly, but I’ve fallen in love with you. I can’t continue to trick with you knowing each time I’m with another man I want it to be you. Each time I see you with a trick it pierces my heart. I can’t make demands of you -- I want you to be who you are -- but I can’t stand by and feel myself die little by little._

_So I think it’s better if I left -- make a clean break, a new start. ~~Maybe someday~~ I’m sorry, I know you paid a lot for the clothes, but I can’t keep them. I know that every time I’d wear them I’d die a little more. Don’t hate me for being a coward._

_Love,_

_Justin_

 

Brian ran his hand over the sweater and stack of clothes. _The stupid little twat!_ He rose from the bed and started toward the kitchen and a bottle of Beam, but then turned and headed to the shower. Alcohol might deaden the pain, but it sure as hell wasn’t going to give him any answers. He needed a clear head, and that meant a shower. He turned on the taps, stripped himself of his clothes and stepped under the spray.


	21. Backsliding

Brian was seated at the corner of the bar at Woody’s. He was nursing his beer and scanning the room for potential prospects. If he hadn’t been so preoccupied cruising tricks, he might have noticed the petite brown-haired young woman before it was too late.

Daphne punched Brian in the arm.

“What the fuck?!” Brian turned to the source of his pain. “Daphne. Would it be too much to ask for you to simply tap me on my shoulder, like a normal person?”

“What did you do to fuck things up this time?” she demanded.

“What are you talking about?” Brian asked annoyed. She was distracting him from the sleepy-eyed Italian boy with curly, black hair. Vaguely, he mused over the comment he'd once heard about all Italian men being at least eight inches. That hadn't been his experience. But by the size of the package displayed in tight jeans, this boy might do his fellow countrymen proud.

This time Daphne pinched Brian, effectively bringing his attention back to her.

Brian rubbed his arm. “Cut it out.” _She wanted his attention, he’d give it to her._ He leaned into her personal space and in a very low and deceptively calm voice asked, “What. Do. You. Want?”

“I want Justin back to the way he was before you took him to New York! That’s what I want. What happened?”

“Why Daphne, I’d have thought the boy would have told you by now.” Brian gave her a smarmy smile. “I wined him... I dined him... I fucking sixty-nined him.”

Daphne wanted to slap the smirk right off of Brian’s face. Instead she folded her arms and waited. She knew there had to be more.

“I blew a few thousand on airfare, hotel and clothes for the boy. Christ, we even had a room with a fucking view of the park!” He looked at her with a nasty little smile, “I suppose it’s a good thing that I didn’t spring for the matching set of luggage. 

“After returning to the Pitts, the boy pulled a disappearing act. I left the boy asleep in the loft. When I got back, I found a pile of pants too short in the leg and too big in the ass, all topped off with a ‘Dear John’ letter disguised as a ‘Thank You’ note. Fucking country club etiquette!” He muttered the last under his breath.

He looked down at Daphne. She’d gone a bit pale at his rant; he turned the last screw. “So don’t blame this one on me, sweetheart. It was Justin’s choice. Go punch him.” He threw some bills on the bar. “I’m out of here.”

Brian headed for the door.

~~~~~~

Emmett had just made it to the bar where Ted was when he caught sight of Brian off to his left. Brian was pulling a buff, sandy-haired man by the shirt toward the back room. He looked at Brian quizzically, then back to his friend at the bar. “Is that... number four? ...or number five?”

“Number six,” Ted replied taking a swig from his beer bottle. “But who’s counting?”

“You’d think he’d need a rest, at some point.”

Ted shrugged.

Emmett scanned the dance floor. “You know, I haven’t seen Justin around lately.” It had been nearly a week -- coinciding with Brian’s little fuck-a-thon. “I wonder where he is....?”

“...where who is?” Michael asked, joining them. He leaned over the bar to order a beer.

“Justin.” Ted filled in the gap.

“He’s history.”

Ted raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. Emmett nodded sagely -- it explained so much.

~~~~~~

For three months straight, Justin worked, ate, painted, and slept ...all the time yearning for Brian. He thought by avoiding all of Brian’s usual haunts -- Liberty Avenue, the diner, Woody’s, Babylon -- he’d somehow avoid his feelings for Brian. But time hadn’t lessened the ache in his heart. He pushed himself with work and painting trying -- hoping -- to ignore the want and need he felt. He managed to work himself to the point of exhaustion so he could sleep without dreaming of the hazel-eyed man with the chestnut hair.

For her part, Daphne dragged him out -- to the movies, to straight clubs, to Starbucks.

“So, the semester starts next week...” she began sucking on the straw in her Mocha Frappuccino. “I was thinking, it might be a good time for you to go back to dating.”

Justin looked at her across the table. “I’m not interested.” He sipped his black coffee.

“Maybe we could go out shopping this afternoon”, she went on ignoring his comment. “You know, you could use some new clothes. Maybe something with a little color in it?” Everything about him these days was black -- his coffee, his clothes, his paintings. “Since there’s only a couple of nights left, we should go to some clubs.”

“Not interested.”

“So we’re all set. We’ll go shopping this afternoon and dancing tonight.” She looked at him with a huge grin on her face. “It’ll be fun.”

_Now I know how Brian feels -- felt... Oh shit! I wasn’t supposed to think of him. Kind of hard when I don’t think about much else._ “What the fuck, why not?” _It might be fun; it was something different that was sure._

He let Daphne drag him down to Liberty Avenue to Torso. They were through the door before he remembered that this was where Brian’s friend Emmett worked.

“Baby!”

_Shit!_

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Emmet beamed at them. “And who’s your little friend? Aren’t you darling!”

Daphne was mesmerized by the tall, swishy queen. She smiled, “I’m Daphne.”

“Of course you are! So what brings you to my humble haberdashery?”

“We’re going out clubbing tonight and Justin needs something other than his current shroud to wear.”

Emmett took in Justin’s black jeans and black tee shirt. He might have looked hot, in a bad boy sort of way. Unfortunately, he seemed to lack the sneering, ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude. And with his pale skin, he looked like he might be more of a goth refugee than a butch bad boy. 

Emmett circled Justin. “Hmmm, I see what you mean. He definitely needs a bit of color.”

“I’m right here.”

Emmett continued to direct his words to Daphne, as he pulled up Justin’s shirt and spun him around. “He has quite a perky little bubble butt, so we’ll definitely want to highlight that. And here,” he spun Justin 180 degrees and splayed his hand across his stomach. “This is sooo pretty -- pale skin, nice and flat. Maybe something to show a hint of skin -- but not too much, shouldn’t give the milk away.” He paused and looked Justin in the eye, “Ever thought about a nipple ring?”

Justin winced. “I don’t think I’m into pain.”

“Too bad,” Emmett shook his head. “Just a thought.”

“What about this?” Daphne held up a shirt made of sheer, see-through fabric.

“Oh, I love that,” Emmett sighed at the shirt, but then shook his head and turned to Justin. “But not for you, sweetie.”

Justin let out the breath he’d been holding, relieved.

“No! What the boy needs is...” He leafed through a nearby rack, and gleefully pulled out a hanger. “This!” 

Justin was immediately taken by the unusual fabric of the shirt. The material looked wrinkled, maybe scrunched -- it wasn’t unkempt, the ‘wrinkles’ added texture to the fabric. The shirt appeared to be a deep, sapphire blue -- until the light hit it just right, then there was a shimmer of gold. It was the weirdest optical illusion that Justin had ever seen. The fabric appeared to move -- Justin had to try it on.

For the first time in months, Justin felt motivated to do more than just mope about Brian. He grabbed the shirt from Emmett’s outreached hand and headed toward the dressing room.

Daphne smiled up at the tall man. “I like you!”

Emmett returned the smile and slung an arm around her shoulder. “Honey, you and me are going to help that boy set this burg on fire tonight.”

~~~~~~

“I can’t believe I spent so much!” Justin looked at the pile of bags on his bed. “I can’t believe you _let_ me spend so much!”

“You needed new clothes for school.” Daphne plopped down on the bed.

“Daphne, those are _not_ school clothes. Those are club-slut clothes.” Justin dropped down on the bed beside her. “Maybe you’re right, maybe I need to go out. You’ll come with me, right?”

~~~~~~

“Brian’s in rare form tonight.” Ted watched as Brian pulled yet another trick toward the backroom. “It must be because it’s his anniversary.”

“Anniversary?” Emmett sipped his cosmo.

“Yeah, it’s been three months now since this fuck-a-thon started.”

“Hmmm, perhaps we should have gotten him something?”

“A case of condoms?” Ted snorted at his joke.

“I think he has his own supplier...” Emmett scanned the club. Justin and Daphne had just pushed through the chains and were coming down the stairs. “But, I know just the thing.”

~~~~~~

“Hey babies!” Emmett joined Justin and Daphne on the dance floor.

“Hi Emmett!” Daphne shouted over the music.

Justin nodded. He closed his eyes, leaned his head back and let the music take him away.

~~~~~~

“Wait! Don’t you want my number?” the trick ran to catch up with Brian who snorted with disdain, as he zipped himself up and strode out of the backroom.

_Why can’t anyone in this town give a decent blow job?_ As soon as he thought it, his head was filled with images of someone with blond hair and a brilliant smile. 

“Fuck off!” Brian pushed the trick away and headed toward the bar.

Leaning back on the bar, Brian nursed a Beam and looked out over the crowd. A flash of blond hair caught his eye. He closed his eyes and shook his head. The vision was always the same, some blond. Some blond, but not _his_ blond. Only this time, instead of thinking that the blond looked like Justin, it really was Justin. Brian turned back to the bar, only to find the blond reflected in the mirror. _Fuck!_

“Hey!” Michael bounced up next to him.

“Hey.” Brian gave him an upward nod and schooled himself to act nonchalant. He calmly turned and looked at his friend.

“Wanna dance?” Michael hopped back and forth from one leg to the other.

“Fuck it; why not?” He followed Michael onto the dance floor. He kept his back to Justin.

~~~~~~

Justin never saw Brian, but he felt him all around him. His eyes were closed, his body given over to the music, his mind was filled with memories of Brian. A tear slipped down his cheek; with the back of his hand he pushed it away. He squared his shoulders and let his head fall back again. 

The hand that touched his neck felt like Brian. Justin leaned into it. Maybe if he kept his eyes closed he could convince himself it was Brian -- he smelled like Brian. 

Arms enfolded him, a warm body wrapped around him. He knew. It couldn’t be anyone else. _Just one more time. Just let me feel him one more time._

Fingers moved up and held his chin, he felt his head tilted at an angle, then lips brushed his neck trailing up to his ear. Justin couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped his lips. He felt Brian’s arousal rubbing sinuously against his ass. In an instant, Justin felt himself spun around and Brian’s mouth descended upon him engulfing him in a hot, wet, open-mouthed kiss.

Justin couldn’t think -- didn’t think -- he gave himself over to what he’d been denying for three months. 

_At last!_ Brian closed his eyes, he pushed deeper into Justin’s mouth, his tongue recording every tooth and pocket. An overwhelming sense of relief poured over his body followed by licks of desire. Justin pushed closer, a leg wrapping around Brian, pulling him tighter against his frame, grinding their cocks together.

“Backroom?” It was Justin who voiced the question, his voice breathless as he pulled oxygen into his lungs. Brian gave a curt nod and moved them as one from the dance floor.

~~~~~~

The trip to the back room hardly managed to take the edge off. Justin was still zipping up when Brian grabbed him by the hand and pulled him along the darkened corridor out to the main floor of Babylon.

“Coat?”

Justin shook his head ‘No’. He was still a bit high and stunned from the fast and furious fuck in the backroom. He let Brian steer him out the door to his Jeep.

Brian had to pull over to the side of the road -- twice -- before they found their way back to the loft. 

They fucked in the elevator as it was suspended between floors. Brian had pushed the emergency stop by accident with his shoulder when Justin had shoved him up against the cage of the car, his mouth fastened around Brian’s turgid nipple and his pale hand thrust down the older man’s pants.

The loft door slid shut with a resounding vibration more than a sound. This time it was Justin who found himself pushed up against cold metal. Brian’s tongue traced the trail of soft hairs to the thatch that nestled Justin’s dick. Brian knelt, littering kisses along the crease of Justin's thigh and hip. His tongue painted Justin's balls with saliva before sweeping along the well-pronounced vein. His tongue twirled around the head of the shaft, before darting inside the slit at the crest of Justin's cock. Brian swallowed him in one go, pulling back slowly. 

“Aaaawwwggghhh!” Justin cried as Brian devoured him and he felt himself bump against the back of Brian’s throat. Then Brian was pulling him in deeper, only retreating when he felt Justin tighten and tense. The orgasm racked Justin’s entire being as come rushed and filled Brian’s mouth. Not a drop was wasted. Brian buried his face in Justin’s pubes and breathed deeply.

Justin’s felt his knees give way and he slid slowly down the door, the cold of the metal cooling his heated flesh. Brian took his mouth in a kiss, and he tasted himself.

“God, I love you.” The moment Justin realized he’d spoken his thoughts he panicked and his whole body stiffened. _I've got to get out of here._ Like a deer released from a headlight’s beam, he moved, trying to wrench himself free from Brian. But Brian held fast.

“Stay.”

“But...”

“Stay.”

Justin sagged into Brian’s arms, grateful for their strength, their warmth.

The kisses began slowly. No more than a brush against his hair, his forehead, his cheek. Soft, light, and loving -- Justin felt cherished. A soft murmur of words; a finger trailed along his neck, the shell of his ear. The touches became more sensual as Brian’s lips caressed his eyelids, his earlobe, the curve of his neck, the corner of his mouth. His mouth opened in a sigh, and Brian slipped inside.

They made it to the bed, their clothes leaving a telltale trail along the hardwoods and the stairs. 

Justin was there, naked in his bed. It was the image that haunted his dreams and made up his fantasies. Brian didn’t want to shut his eyes for fear he would disappear. He knelt between the younger man’s splayed thighs.

“What?” 

Justin broke him out of his thoughts. Brian gave a gentle smile and shook his head, “Nothing.” He reached to the nightstand, grabbing some lube and tossing some condoms on the bed. He flipped the cap on the tube and coated his fingers. The liquid slid along their length as he rubbed them together to heat the gel. He brushed the soft skin along Justin’s thighs, before stroking the wet digits along Justin’s perineum. He made an upward pass, fondling Justin’s balls, and moving down to encircle and tease the pucker of skin that pulsed under his attention.

Justin shifted so Brian made contact with his hole. “More,” he demanded, thrusting up and closing his thighs as best he could, hoping to capture Brian’s hand.

Brian slowed and concentrated on Justin’s hole. He painted each wrinkle and spiraled around the pink, fleshy opening.

A whiney groan escaped Justin’s lips as he tried to slip closer to the fingers that teased him.

Brian’s touch became lighter, almost losing contact with the sensitive skin.

“Brian...” Justin pleaded now, not caring.

The older man relented and breached the entrance; Justin clamped down.

Brian began a slow and steady movement in and out, rotating, sweeping along sensitive flesh.

“More.”

A second finger joined the first and Brian worked the two to loosen and stretch Justin, delving deeper to tap against the bundle of nerves.

“Brian!” Justin’s hips rose off the mattress and his hand moved toward his hardened cock.

“No.” The command was soft, as Brian stayed Justin’s hand before replacing it with his own. “Don’t come yet.” His thumb slipped across the head of Justin’s dick where pre-cum leaked in a constant flow. He loosely formed a fist and pulled along the shaft, as his other hand caressed Justin from the inside.

Brian watched as pleasure bloomed along Justin’s pale cheeks. The boy’s eyes were closed in bliss, and his tongue darted out painting a wet line along his strawberry lips.

“Need you...” Justin panted. “Need you... inside... inside me. Now!” His hips pushed up from the mattress as Brian brought him so close to the edge.

Brian withdrew his fingers, knowing that Justin was more than prepared. Justin whimpered at the loss, his legs encircled Brian’s thighs in an effort to pull him closer. Brian quickly donned a condom and lifted Justin’s legs to his shoulders.

Justin gave a sigh of satisfaction as Brian slipped slowly inside him inch by inch until he was buried deep.

“Ahhhh...” Brian let go of the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He savored the moment, content in the knowledge he was where he belonged.

A slight nudge of Justin’s leg against his arm, and Brian began building a slow rhythm. It was exquisite torture, as Brian thrust in and out. Brian could feel the Justin’s muscles clutch his cock involuntarily on each downward stroke as Brian grazed his prostate just often enough to keep him at the edge.

“Brian!” Justin reached up trying to pull Brian closer. Brian responded, swooping down to capture Justin’s lips, his tongue echoing the movement of his cock. Justin’s hands pulled at the back of his neck, at his thigh, at his ass.

“Deeper...” Justin shifted his hips and pushed his legs wider, letting them fall along Brian’s thighs. Brian’s hands were there, firmly lifting and spreading his cheeks the to bury himself deeper.

“So good, so tight...” He thrust deep, his strokes lengthening, nudging Justin’s prostate with every movement.

Justin felt his body responding, starting at his toes. He wound his legs around Brian’s hips and locked his ankles. His toes curled. He felt his balls tighten. Without benefit of his hand or Brian’s he came in a river of pearly strands, splashing along his chest and stomach.

Brian could feel Justin tighten around his cock and only managed a few short thrusts before he fell over the edge with a cry. He sighed as his body shuddered and he felt Justin milk him dry. He collapsed on the pale chest of the younger man. Justin heaved and groaned as he sought to steady the wild beat of his heart and drew deep breaths to fill his lungs.

When he was able, Brian made to move and disengage himself, but Justin stopped him.

“Stay? Please?”

“Justin... I’ll lose the condom...”

“Just a little while longer...” it was a quiet plea, but laced with desperation.

“A little while...” he agreed, knowing there was no where else he’d rather be.

Too soon Brian knew he had to move. Justin tried to muffle the whimper of disappointment he felt when Brian left his body. Quickly discarding the condom, Brian gathered Justin into his arms and pulled him close. 

“Sleep,” he commanded quietly, covering them with a sheet. He closed his eyes, relishing the feel of Justin back in his arms... where he belonged.


	22. Some Decisions are Made

_How is it that it’s come to this?_ Brian had gotten up to take a piss. Instead of washing his hands and returning to bed, he found himself staring into the bathroom mirror contemplating his life and his future at four-fucking-thirty in the morning. He gave a derisive snort. As if the mirror on the wall would provide him the answers to his fucked up life.

_Mirror, mirror on the wall..._

Brian took a long, hard look at his reflection. _Thirty two years old. Fuck!_ He wasn’t supposed to have lived to see thirty. _’Die young and leave a beautiful corpse.’ Right?_

So where was he now? Thirty-two fucking years and he was still living like he had in his twenties. Partying, drinking -- fucking and sucking. 

_Is that all there is?_ It certainly had seemed to be enough until lately. Was he living the life he wanted? or was he living the legend of Brian Kinney? 

Was it the expectations he had for himself? Was it the expectations -- or perhaps lack of expectations -- of others that had kept him the perpetual Peter Pan? 

For all their harping to the contrary, Brian was certain that Mikey and the gang would be happy if he never changed. 

Could he change? Did he want to change? His mind skittered to the blond man who occupied his bed.

He wanted Justin, and not just for the night, not just for the sex. His knuckles were white as he gripped the edge of the sink. _Could it be possible?_

Brian contemplated the note Justin had left him three months ago. Even Justin didn’t expect him to change... for him.

The past three months Brian had been on a bender of sorts -- sex not alcohol being the driving drug. He was drowning and Justin was throwing him a life line. Was he going to be stupid and not take hold of it?

Justin stumbled into the bathroom, eyes barely open. He pissed and moved to the sink, eyes shut, on automatic pilot. He bumped Brian aside and washed his hands. Rubbing his eyes with loosely clenched fists he tried to focus on Brian.

He yawned. “You coming back to bed?”

“In a minute.”

A sleepy smile turned up the corner of Justin’s lips and he pressed a kiss in the vicinity of Brian’s neck before shuffling back to the bedroom.

Brian felt himself grin as he watched Justin retreat. He felt a dull pain in his chest. _Heartburn_ , he told himself rubbing the faint ache. _Yeah, right, you didn’t eat dinner -- they definitely knew what they were doing when they coined that phrase._

_Was there really any choice?_ Hell, even half asleep Justin amused him, aroused him -- gave him more than his so-called friends. Justin made him feel like his life had value. No anonymous sex in the backroom of Babylon compared to what Justin gave him.

With Justin he was more than Lindsay’s checkbook or Michael’s possession. Christ, even Mel and Ted who hated his guts expected him to provide money and contacts. But Justin didn’t expect a goddamn thing from him. _Fuck!_ Justin _should_ have some expectations of him.

Brian glanced to the bed and Justin’s sleeping form. He should have paid more attention. The only thing Justin had ever asked of Brian was to help him improve himself. He chuckled. The boy’s chosen course of self-improvement _was_ a bit unorthodox. But then everything between Justin and him was -- the sex, the sleepy midnight conversations, the quiet time alone together. Brian couldn’t pigeon-hole it into some nice neat category and shove it away. 

_Friends?_ Not really, but then there were times it was so much more. 

_Lovers?_ Brian cringed at the word; they weren’t fucking lesbians. 

_Fuck buddies?_ Probably. 

_What the fuck were he and Justin doing together? That ladies and gentlemen seems to be today’s million dollar question._

Brian frowned. He looked in the mirror one last time before turning and heading to bed.

Climbing under the covers, Brian wasn’t surprised when Justin rolled up against his frame and snuggled into his arms. _Brian Kinney doesn’t cuddle -- yeah, right._ He pulled Justin closer.

With Justin’s head on his heart, Brian pondered his life as the sky outside moved the loft from the dark of night to the grey of dawn. Finally around six-thirty he knew what he wanted to do; had to do, really -- if he was truly honest with himself. _Would Justin be receptive?_ Stroking his soft, golden strands, Brian drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

~~~~~~

Justin awoke to find himself wrapped in Brian’s arms. He tensed slightly, then relaxed as Brian’s steady, even breaths filled him with a sense of calm and smoothed the racing beat of his heart. In Brian’s arms, all his resolve of the past three months had slipped away in one night. _No going back._

Justin shifted and Brian rolled onto his back letting go of the younger man in the process. Justin propped himself up on his elbows and stretched out a hand to lightly brush the chestnut hair from Brian’s face. He feathered a finger along his beautiful eyebrows, cheeks, and lips. Being with Brian was still better than being without him. _If only..._

Brian turned half asleep and captured Justin’s finger in his mouth and sucked gently. Though Justin’s touch was light, Brian marveled at how in tune their bodies were. Eyes still closed, his hand unerringly found Justin’s neck and pulled him closer. Lips and fingers merged in a slow, slippery kiss. _Perfect. This is how I plan to wake up every day._

~~~~~~

This morning there was no race, no urgency; they leisurely made love in the sleep warmed sheets. Were it not for bodily functions forcing them from the bed to bathroom they might have spent the entire day cocooned under the duvet.

Relieved for the time being, Brian reached in and turned on the shower. He let the water heat up a bit before pulling a half asleep and surprised Justin under the spray. 

Yelping at the unexpected rain of water on his skin, Justin was quickly soothed by the fragrant soap that Brian’s warm, wet hands stroked along his body. He released a pleasurable sigh as Brian’s touch moved from dispassionate detachment to sensual and seductive caresses. Eyes still closed, he lifted his face to the kiss he knew awaited him. 

~~~~~~

Brian was laying out his clothes when Justin emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Brian threw a pair of stretchy boxer-briefs at him. Justin dropped the towel and pulled on the briefs. Brian continued to rummage around in the bureau drawers.

He glanced over his shoulder, “Socks?”

Justin nodded.

“T-shirt?”

Justin nodded again. He sat on the edge of the bed and quietly donned the socks and T-shirt. He looked around for his clothes from the previous night. He spied them on the platform near Brian’s corner of the bed. Brian had obviously retrieved and folded them. Justin smiled as he shook out his trousers and pulled them on.

Meanwhile, Brian had dressed himself in a tight pair of 501’s and a black T-shirt. He was standing at the closet slipping into a pair of Gucci loafers, when Justin spoke.

“Well, I guess I’ll be going... I’ll... I’ll get this stuff back to you...” He headed to the steps.

“Wait.” The word was soft, but Justin knew it to be a command.

He turned and looked at Brian. 

“I thought we might have some breakfast.”

That made Justin smile. “Unless you’ve changed your grocery shopping habits, I’m pretty sure that the contents of your fridge is limited to water, beer, guava juice and poppers.”

Brian rolled his lips and grinned back a bit sheepishly. “You know me so well. However, I thought we might get something to eat at the diner. Aren’t you hungry?” Brian raised an eyebrow.

“I am,” Justin relented. “But I don’t think I’m up to the scrutiny of your friends this morning. Besides, classes start tomorrow and I have a thousand things to do.” He stepped forward and ran a hand lovingly along Brian’s cheek. “Last night was wonderful, in so many ways...”

“If you stick around, after breakfast we can pick up where we left off.”

Justin’s smile faltered a bit, he’d like nothing better. He pulled at his lip with his teeth and shook his head. “Last night _was_ wonderful. We didn’t plan it, it just happened. I’m happy it did, but I can’t repeat it.”

_What the fuck? What did he mean he ‘couldn’t repeat it’?_

At Brian’s look of confusion, Justin continued, “Last night was good -- it was great. It gave me the closure I needed... so I can get on with next chapter of my life. These past few months I’ve been in a holding pattern. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I took the coward’s way out. I can move on now. This... it... well, it lets me say goodbye...”

Brian schooled his features to remain neutral. _No! This can’t be happening._ He’d finally succumbed to the fact that he wanted Justin in his life -- as something more than a fuck buddy -- and Justin was giving him the kiss off speech? Only this time, he had the balls to do it face to face? _Well, sorry Sonny Boy, not going to happen. Fuck it! When in doubt, take the offensive._

Brian reached out for Justin’s hand. “Aren’t you being a tad over-dramatic?” He turned Justin’s words back at him. “There’s no law that says this has to be _goodbye_. Last night _was_ good.” Brian paused to pull Justin in more. “It’s made me think that I wouldn’t mind having you around a bit more often.”

Justin’s composure threatened to collapse. Brian was saying the things he wanted to hear, but he knew Brian hadn’t changed, couldn’t change, wouldn’t change. “I’d like that... but I can’t. I know what I want and what I need.” He tried to soften the words, but they came out harsh regardless. “You can’t give it to me.” 

Brian felt like he’d been slapped, he dropped Justin’s hand. 

Justin rushed on, “I shouldn’t expect you to -- in many ways, it’s something I have to find on my own. I’ll always remember all the things you taught me, the wonderful trip to New York... but now I’ve got to leave.” Justin turned and collected his stack of clothes. He looked back before he took the steps down from the bedroom. “I’ll return your stuff. Have a nice life, Brian.”

Justin tried to press back the tears that threatened to spill. He had been sure that he would manage to get out of the loft before his emotions would overtake him. _I will **not** cry._ The night and the morning had been so wonderful. He just needed to get past the loft door before he fell apart.

_Have a nice life._ Brian’s lips twisted bitterly. 

_Have a nice life?! The fuck he would._ Not without Justin, and the fuck if Justin’s life was going to be nice and neat while his was hanging in the wind. 

Brian took purposeful strides down the steps and across the loft to where Justin was attempting to open the loft door. Brian spun Justin around, making him drop the clothes in his hands as he did so. 

“Have a nice life? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Brian pulled Justin to him and slammed his mouth down onto Justin’s before he had a chance to protest.

_Oh, fuck._ Justin moaned as Brian’s tongue swiped across his and traced each of his teeth. _Fuck!_ He had to get out of the loft while he still had an ounce of dignity. 

Brian’s hands traveled from his waist to his ass. Brian pulled them closer still, grinding their cocks together, mimicking the action with their tongues. Justin could feel his willpower slipping away. He opened his mouth wider and his tongue invaded Brian’s mouth.

Brian pulled back panting, his hazel eyes were dark and the blue ones that stared back at him were dazed and dilated. “Have a nice life? I don’t think so. We have some unfinished business.”

Justin drew a shaky breath and managed to distance himself now that Brian’s tongue wasn’t halfway down his throat, and vice-versa. He squared his shoulders and selected his words carefully. “As I said, it was good. We’re good together -- have been good together. I don’t -- can’t -- deny it. But I need more. You haven’t changed, you aren’t going to change. And frankly, I shouldn’t expect you to. It’s one of the things I love about you. You live your life on your own terms.” 

Justin bent to retrieve the clothes that he dropped. “Now I have to learn how to live life on my terms as well. Goodbye Brian.” And with that final farewell, Justin managed to gracefully pull open the loft door and step into the hallway. 

He pulled the door shut, watching Brian closely. Brian’s face disappeared behind the metal barrier. As it closed the final inch, Justin told himself that his mind was playing tricks on him. Surely, it wasn’t regret that he saw in Brian’s eyes.


	23. That Man of Mine

Brian watched as Justin disappeared and the loft door shut with a resounding “thud”.

“FUCK!” This was exactly why he had avoided lesbianic relationships. You put yourself out there and got the door slammed in your face... literally. Oh, Justin had tried to let him down gently. Brian huffed out a jeering laugh. As if he _needed_ to be let down gently. Hell, he was fucking king of kicking tricks to the curb. He recognized the tactic, even if it was wrapped in compassionate little gestures and soft, sympathetic words.

_Fuck it!_ He’d given it a try and gotten kicked in the teeth. He’d learned his lesson. _From now on, stick to the program you know._

~~~~~~

Justin arrived home with a smile on his face. He just couldn’t get it to go away. He had a wonderful night with Brian and now he could move on with his life. He felt... free.

“Somebody got some last night,” Daphne commented entering the living room from the kitchen. She lifted her spoon to Justin, “Peach yogurt?”

Justin wrinkled his nose. “No thanks, no sour milk for me.”

Daphne continued to lick at the yogurt on her spoon. “So? What happened? Are you and Brian back together?”

Justin smiled. “Nope! We’re done with each other.” He looked down at his shirt. “Oh, except I have to return a couple of things to him. But otherwise, we’re done.”

“And this makes you happy?”

“Yes! Don’t you get it Daph? For the past few months I’ve been moping around, in this state of limbo. But now I have closure. I had one last night of fabulous fucking and now I can move on with my life. It’s great!”

Daphne rolled her eyes. “If it was so fabulous, how come you’re happy it’s over?”

“That’s just it. It wasn’t over and that was what was driving me nuts. Now I know it’s over. Brian isn’t ever going to change, he doesn’t want to settle down with just one man. I know that. I can understand that -- I may not agree with it, I may want more for myself -- but I can respect his right to live his life the way he wants to, the way he needs to.”

Daphne looked at him skeptically.

“And I can live my life the way I want to, the way I need to.”

“Oh, are you going back to fucking everything with a dick?”

“Noooo,” Justin laughed. “You don’t have to worry about me dragging men back here every night.”

“I wouldn’t mind you dragging them back here if they were straight and for me.”

Justin threw a pillow at her, but she ducked before it hit her in the face.

~~~~~~

Brian returned to his usual haunts -- the diner, Woody’s, Babylon. He returned to his old ways; but tricking seemed to fall short of expectation. If his friends noticed his less than enthusiastic resumption of his old habits, they were smart enough to keep their mouths shut. To make matters worse, Justin seemed to be everywhere he went, a constant reminder of what he was missing. As a result, more often than not Brian left Woody’s or Babylon early and alone, dissatisfied with the ineptitude of the few tricks he’d indulged in since Justin’s departure that fated Sunday.

~~~~~~

Classes resumed at PIFA and Justin quickly settled in, making new friends of past acquaintances. Free of the encumbrance that was Ethan, his fellow seniors flocked to him and Justin found himself the center of attention. The experience and self-confidence gained during his time with Brian had resulted in a self-assured man that others naturally gravitated to. 

For Justin the change was welcome. He liked having friends his own age that he enjoyed spending time with. In high school he’d been a bit of a loner with Daphne his only friend, Once at PIFA, he’d quickly fallen into his relationship with Ethan. As a result he’d ended up spending his time with Ethan’s crowd by default. Ethan’s friends were a bunch of self-absorbed, pretentious, stuck-up pricks. Now Justin had his own group of friends and did things he wanted to do.

Though he talked a good game with Daphne, Justin still found himself drawing or dreaming about Brian and their time together. At night he’d sleep in the T-shirt Brian had loaned him when they were last together. Leery of lingering feelings for Brian that he had trouble suppressing, Justin avoided Liberty Avenue at first. But as the weeks went on, Justin told himself it was ridiculous to base his social life on the possibility that he might run into Brian, and find it awkward. So he began to venture out more and more. He volunteered at the Gay and Lesbian Center -- one place on Liberty Avenue that he was sure Brian wouldn’t be caught dead -- working with an after school art program for kids. As it turned out, Lindsay coordinated the program and managed to talk Justin into working one Saturday a month doing art lessons for preschool students. Most of the art projects involved dried pasta and tempera paint. But Justin enjoyed himself.

Justin’s social life seem to blossom as fall break neared. He was surprised to find so many of his peers asking him out. 

He went out on lots of dates, at least lots of first dates. In the beginning, Justin had been enthusiastic -- so many men, so many offers. He dated other art students from PIFA; pre-med, pre-law students from Carnegie-Mellon; hot looking geeks and business majors from Pitt. But he found himself just going through the motions. It wasn’t intentional, but he always found himself comparing them to Brian. There simply was no comparison -- which was a disturbing thought.

~~~~~~

Brian watched with little amusement as he saw Justin squired around the restaurants and bars that lined Liberty Avenue and the surrounding area. His nights were sleepless and he’d lost his appetite -- not that he’d eaten all that much to begin with. But now dinner seemed to be liquid nearly every night. His friends commented on his loss of weight. 

Each time Brian saw Justin with another hot and _young_ guy Brian re-doubled his efforts to forget the lad by grabbing the nearest acceptable trick. But ultimately, it was Justin’s face and body that filled his mind allowing him to feel release in mouths far less talented or asses far less fine. 

~~~~~~

From the sidelines, Emmett found it totally amusing to follow the separate lives of Justin and Brian. In his heart, romantic that he was, he knew the two were destined to be together. They just hadn’t figured it out. 

Justin was sitting at the bar at Woody’s working on his pyramid of shot glasses. His date that night was a bust. The last in a long line of dreadful dates. Tonight’s companion - Tony - had talked endlessly about computers. Tony had the whole hot geek thing going for himself, if he’d only kept his mouth shut. Justin decided occupying Tony’s mouth in another manner might be called for, but the mediocre blow job had Justin wishing for another conversation regarding laptops and PDAs. When Tony pulled out his pitiful tool and offered to top him, Justin decided then and there it was time to stop dating. 

Emmett had watched as Justin downed shot after shot. At least the boy was taking a breather between each one. However, Justin had passed pleasantly buzzed a while back and was well on his way to inebriation. Emmett scanned the room and noted several men who were eyeing the blond man at the bar. Time for intervention Emmett decided crossing to where Justin sat at the bar. By befriending Justin, he knew sooner or later he’d be privileged to some serious gossip. Besides, who could resist front row seats for what promised to be the fireworks display of the century. 

~~~~~~

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Daphne stomped across the apartment to open the door. It was fucking midnight. “Can’t you remember your keys just once?” Daphne barked out as she opened the door to Justin and Emmett.

Her brow furrowed as she looked at Emmett. “Don’t I know you?”

“Baby!” Emmett exclaimed. “So you’re Justin’s roomie! I’m soooo happy.” He lowered his voice and hid his mouth behind a raised hand. “I was afraid I’d have to deal with some pretentious queen.” He plowed ahead, pushing Justin through the door. “We met at Torso a couple of months ago when we rid this boy of his sackcloth and ashes allowing your little ray of Sunshine here to shine bright.”

Daphne shook her head. _WTF? Who talks that way? Obviously he does._ “It’s coming back to me...”

“Emmett, Emmett Honeycutt.” Emmett proffered a hand, only to pull back as Justin tipped precariously and he was required to steady him.

“Daphne,” she supplied, grabbing hold of Justin. “Let’s move him to the couch.

They settled Justin on the futon couch with Daphne and Emmett on either side of him. Justin immediately slumped into a half sitting, half lying position. 

“Does he end up like this often?” Emmett asked concerned that the boy might be pining away for Brian. Certainly Brian was looking less the better for wear these days.

“Nope, this is a first. Of late he’s been coming home alone and dragging. The dating pool seems to have gotten shallow.”

Emmett was surprised by this, he’d seen Justin with any number of hot and handsome guys recently. “Do tell,” he cooed.

“Not much to tell. I think it finally caught up with him. Though of late...” Daphne looked quizzically at Emmett. “What are you doing here -- he didn’t have a date with you, did he?”

Emmett laughed, “Don’t I wish. Brian would have my balls!”

“Brian?” _What did Brian have to do with things?_

“Oh yes, La Kinney would not like it if I was poaching in his preserve. As it is, he’s been like a bear with a sore paw.”

“What happened to his date?”

“Date, smate!” Justin piped up. “Stupid pencil dick geek!”

“Oh dear,” Emmett responded.

Justin looked at Emmett. “Sorry excuse for a man, I have fingers longer and thicker than that!” Justin held up his hand as if to demonstrate.

Daphne gasped. It wasn’t that she was a prude -- she couldn’t be after the past year and Justin’s foray into casual tricking. Just the same, the disdain with which Justin spoke of this evening’s date didn’t bode well.

“You know, it isn’t the size that matters...” she ventured.

Justin snorted and Emmett laughed.

“Oh honey, are nice mothers still telling their daughter’s that one? If size doesn’t why did God invent porn? Believe me, finesse counts, but you have to have _something_ to finesse with. There’s only so far you can go with smoke and mirrors.”

“Brian has a beeee-yoooouuuuu-tiful cock. Long and smooth and rock hard,” Justin sighed. “And just the right size around...”

“I don’t want to know about Brian’s dick,” Daphne interrupted.

“I do!” Emmett waived his hands trying to get her to shush.

Daphne shook her head. “I think I’ve heard all I want to hear about Brian tonight. Are you going to help me to put him to bed?” She looked at Emmett and then at Justin.

“All right, all right,” Emmett mock pouted. “Let’s get sleeping beauty here into bed. You can make me a cup of tea, and Auntie Em will impart all her wisdom to you about life, men, and the size of their... egos.” 

~~~~~~

Brian was annoyed. It seemed that Emmett had appointed himself Justin’s new best friend. Justin still had to show up and weigh in on the issue himself. But Emmett had taken to talking endlessly about Justin -- at the gym during sit ups, at the diner during breakfast, at Woody’s over a game of pool, at the bar of Babylon. _Who gives a fuck?!_ _You do_ the answer echoed in his brain. _FUCK!_

The gang was in their usual booth on Saturday night when Justin entered the diner with a dark-haired man. 

Seeing the couple Emmett couldn’t help but announce the arrival. “Oh look! There’s Justin. And just who is that luscious little morsel he has with him? Let’s invite them over to get the 411.” Emmett went to raise his arm to have them join them at the booth when Brian’s hand firmly clamped on Emmett’s wrist and easily wrestled it to the table.

One look from Brian quelled any thought that Emmett might have about inviting Justin and his friend to join them.

“We don’t need any twinks.” Michael asserted picking up on Brian’s unease. For once, it seemed that they were of the same mind where the blond was concerned. 

Justin immediately spotted Brian and his band of merry men. He knew that there was a distinct possibility that he might run into Brian here. But he’d made up his mind that he couldn’t spend all his time avoiding places Brian might be. Besides, he liked the diner with Debbie and her silly t-shirts and her wise-cracking mouth. 

Looking around the room there wasn’t much to choose from for seating. The booth next to the gang was free, but Justin didn’t really trust himself to be that close to Brian. He motioned Ryan to two free seats at the counter.

“But there’s a booth free...”

“Service is better at the counter.”

Justin and Ryan ordered burgers and milkshakes. 

The two attended the same graphic design class at PIFA. Ryan’s concentration was in Photography. He had recently broken up with his boyfriend and spent a lot of time bending Justin’s ear about it. Justin figured they could be friends, maybe more -- but given his dating track record over the past couple of months, he’d become a lot more cautious. Besides, Ryan seemed as preoccupied with his ex as much as Justin was with Brian. 

Justin darted a glance over to the gang’s booth. Brian stared directly at him, his gaze unwavering.

Ryan was deep into extolling the virtues of his ex when he noticed Justin’s lack of attention. Justin’s fixation was obviously on the chestnut haired man in the booth. “He’s hot,” Ryan commented. “His name is Brian Kinney. I’ve heard about him. They say he’s the ultimate fuck. But he’s not your type.”

“He’s everybody’s type.” Justin responded without thinking, still looking at Brian.

“Well, sure, but I mean he’s not long term. You said you wanted a boyfriend and a steady relationship. He’s known to have a one time only policy. One fuck and he kick’s them to the curb.”

“I’ve heard.”

Their food arrived; Justin and Ryan turned their attention to the burgers and shakes. Conversation drifted to school and the upcoming Senior Art Show.

Justin was sucking the last of his milkshake through his too narrow straw when he felt a tingle along the hairs on the back of his neck. _Brian_.

Brian had crossed to the register to pay the tab for the booth. He brushed up against Justin, his denim covered dick rubbed in the small of Justin’s back. The unexpected action caused Justin to draw in his breath resulting in milkshake going down the wrong pipe. A coughing fit ensued.

Brian hadn’t planned on choking the boy. Quickly, he pulled Justin up from his stool and wrapped his arms around him prepared to give him the Heimlich Maneuver when Justin’s coughing fit abated. Just feeling Brian’s arms around him calmed him and he was able to breathe easier.

Keeping his arms around Justin, Brian leaned in and whispered. “It seems to me that I taught you better, Sunshine. You know -- when to suck and when to blow.” Brian let go, but not before rubbing his hips against Justin’s and letting his hand lightly caress Justin’s crotch. 

Brian turned to pay his bill.

Once the tab had been paid, he turned to Justin and his friend. “Later, Sunshine.”


	24. I Want Him Back

“I want him back!” Justin burst into Daphne’s bedroom. He’d run the whole way home from the diner.

“Who?” Daphne struggled to sit up in bed. She rubbed her eyes then propped herself up on her elbows.

“Brian!”

“Brian?!” Daphne shook her head and tried to focus. “Brian? But... I thought... You said you were over him?”

Justin flopped onto the bed next to her, closing his eyes. “I know. I know what I said, but... I can’t... Shit! I can’t get him out of my head -- no matter what. I tried avoiding him -- that didn’t work. I tried ignoring him -- that didn’t work. I tried other men -- that didn’t work. The only thing that seems to work is when we’re together -- no matter how fucked up we may be.” Justin covered his face with his arm. “I want him back, Daph.”

“What are you going to do?” She leaned over Justin and pulled his arm off his face.

“I have no idea. But when I figure it out, I’ll let you know.” 

Daphne leaned back next to Justin and closed her eyes. “Do you remember back at St. James when I had that crush on Billy Hauser?”

“Huh?”

Rolling over, Daphne pushed Justin in the shoulder.

“When we were at St. James I had this huge crush on Billy Hauser. He didn’t know I was alive. So I spent like a month going everywhere he was going to be - class, lunch, study hall, his games after school. Wherever he was, there I was.”

“You think I should stalk Brian?”

Daphne picked up a pillow and began beating Justin with it. “Asshole!”

Holding his arms out to fend off the assault, Justin laughed, “No! No! You’re idea has merit!”

Daphne stopped hitting him. “It does?”

Justin nodded. “I’ve been keeping a low profile, hoping to avoid running into Brian. I think you have the right idea. Step it up, make him notice me.” The gears were definitely grinding now. 

~~~~~~

When Brian woke up for the third time in as many days with his dreams of Justin fresh in his mind and an aching hard-on he knew he had a problem. 

When he walked into the art department at Ryder later that day, he knew he was well and truly fucked.

Sitting at a drafting table in the common area of the art department, drawing happily, was the stuff that dreams were made of -- or at least what his dreams had been made of lately. “Shit!” 

“Brian?” Mark, the art director for Ryder, crossed the open office to ward off whatever wrath Ryder’s number one account exec might plan to slay the minor minions of the art department.

“Mark.”

“Something wrong with the last set of boards we sent up?”

“Huh? No... I’m sure they are fine.”

“Well, then, is there something I can help you with?”

“Huh?” _Fuck!_ Brian stopped and focused. As soon as he’d seen Justin, he’d entirely forgotten what he’d come down to the art department for in the first place. “I... I need someone to work with me on the Kitty Kravers account. Preferably someone who can draw something that looks like a cat rather than a Rorschach test.”

Mark cursed his luck; he needed Kinney out of his department as quickly as possible. His resources were strained, half the department was out with the flu. Those who had managed to escape the winter malady had not only their work to complete, but were covering for those co-workers who were out sick. The only one who was remotely free was the new intern, Taylor. This was only his second day, and he was still familiarizing himself with office routine and getting the lay of the land. Oh, well, he’d have to do as today’s sacrificial lamb.

“Brian, I really don’t have anyone free at the moment. If you need to have someone immediately, the only person I have is our new intern from PIFA, Justin Taylor. Can it wait?” The look on Brian’s face told Mark the answer. “I, uh, guess, Justin will be happy to pitch in.”

Brian frowned. “He’ll have to do... send him to my office.” Brian turned around and left. _Fuck!_

~~~~~~

Justin couldn’t believe his luck. His second day at Ryder and already he was getting to work with Brian!

Instead of waiting for the elevator, he rushed up the stairwell to the seventh floor, taking the steps two by two. A little flushed when he hit the landing, he stopped to compose himself before opening the door into the corridor. He wound his way through the maze of cubicles to the corner office he knew to be Brian’s. He hesitated outside the door, suddenly unsure of himself.

“Can I help you?” 

Justin turned and found himself face to face with Cynthia... _Damn! What was her last name? Oh well..._ with Brian’s assistant. He’d seen her around the office, and she seemed to be friendly.

“Uh, I’m from the art department. I was sent up here to work with Mr. Kinney.”

“Is that so?” 

_Perhaps not quite so friendly._

Cynthia looked Justin up and down, assessing him to see if he might measure up.

Justin swallowed. “Umm, yes?”

Cynthia gave him an encouraging smile. “Well, despite what you’ve heard, he isn’t that bad -- but don’t tell him I said that. He kind of likes his ogre reputation. He really doesn’t eat the graphic designers for breakfast.” _But in your case, he might make an exception. This designer was a cutie._ “His office is the one in the corner, knock and enter -- you can beard the lion in his den.”

With a knock on the open door, Justin made his presence known. He stepped into Brian’s office. At Brian’s gesture, Justin closed the door behind himself and crossed to stand next to the desk. A large sketchpad was tucked under his arm.

“Taylor...” Brian’s tongue was firmly lodged in his cheek.

Justin ventured a small grin. This wasn’t going to be too bad after all. He moved to sit in the padded chair reserved for clients.

“Did I say you could sit?”

Justin’s ass had barely glanced the cushion; he quickly resumed his standing position. 

“So Taylor... what the fuck are you doing here?”

“Uh Mark...”

“That would be _Mr. Singleton_ , to you.”

“Uh, yes, Mr. Singleton... he said you needed some help with an account...”

It was evident by Brian’s look of doubt Brian didn’t need anyone’s help with an account, least of all Justin’s.

“Sorry, I mean... Mar... uh, Mr. Singleton said you requested an artist who could draw a cat...”

“No. What are you doing here at Ryder?”

“Oh! Well, as part of the completion of my program at PIFA, I’m required to get 3 credits in real world application of my chosen field -- graphic design.” Justin glanced at Brian to see if he was buying any of his story. Brian’s face was neutral. “I really should thank you for recommending Ryder to me.” 

Brian started to say he hadn’t done anything of the kind, then remembered he’d the conversation at the loft early on in their acquaintance. 

“I mean, if it hadn’t been for you, I’d probably be stuck in some dusty museum.” Justin flashed a smile. 

“Really.” Brian’s response underscored his doubt.

Justin nodded happily. Time to change the subject. “What kind of cat did you have in mind?”

Brian stared at Justin, what the fuck was the little shit up to? He steered the conversation back to the question at hand. “So out of all the possible graphic design internships out there you chose Ryder?”

“Well, Ryder is the best. Is there a problem? Does our past relationship...?”

Brian interrupted, “We didn’t have a relationship. I don’t _do_ relationships.”

“Oh.” Justin shifted his eye heavenward, then shrugged. “Then I guess there’s nothing that would interfere with my working here.” He smiled sweetly at Brian.

Brian pressed his lips together as he clenched his tongue between his teeth. _Shit!_

Justin worked hard at suppressing the grin that threatened to break out across his face. Brian wasn’t so immune after all. Justin moved to a work chair at the small conference table in the office and opened his pad. He quickly sketched a cat by a mouse hole. Flipping the pad around, he asked, “this the sort of thing you had in mind?”

Brian had two choices. He could be baited into a game of cat and mouse with Justin or like the cat outside the mouse hole, he could bide his time. 

Brian moved to take the seat next to Justin at the conference table, leaning in close, he expelled a puff of warm, moist air into Justin’s ear before speaking. “I was thinking... something a bit more seductive... the product is Kitty Kravers. After all, what is it that he’d crave?”

Brian’s low, dulcet tones made the younger man shift in his seat.

“Who?” Justin breathed. “What?” 

Brian curled his lips and purred, “Why the cat, of course. After all, if you were a cat, what would make you purr-rr?” The “r”s that rolled off Brian’s tongue would have done Eartha Kitt proud.

Justin swallowed visibly. He dropped his pencil, ignoring it as it rolled off the table and into his lap. He rubbed his palms against his thighs that were encased in what was becoming uncomfortably tight jeans. His intention had been to dry his hands, but the rubbing had the unintentional effect of making him hard. _Well, perhaps that wasn’t the only thing that was making him hard._ He hoped Brian wouldn’t notice -- he did.

“You seem to have dropped your pencil.” Justin swallowed when Brian’s knuckles brushed his crotch as he retrieved the pencil from his lap. 

Brian upended the pencil on the conference room table. He let it slide through his fingers point to eraser a couple of times before letting it fall. With a flick of his finger, he sent the pencil rolling toward Justin’s pad. The pencil hit the pad and was once again rolling back to the edge of the table. Justin managed to grab it before it fell in his lap for a second time.

_Shit!_ Why had he thought it was going to be easy to play out this game with Brian? He should have known; Brian was the ultimate master at any game he chose to play. _Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Shit!_

Brian leaned back in his chair, steepling his hands. “Okay, let’s get down to work...”

~~~~~

“Fuck! Why do I let you talk me into eating all this shit?” Brian moaned as he feared that the massive amount of fried, fat and carbohydrate laden food he'd consumed might make a repeat appearance if he moved from his position on the rug.

He and Michael were lying side by side, head to head, bodies flung out in opposing directions. Drained beer bottles surrounded them; two empty pizza boxes and a half eaten bucket of fried chicken lay on the floor next to them. Michael was munching on a pizza crust while Brian took another toke and hoped the joint would fight back the nausea that he was feeling.

Michael flipped over on his stomach and struggled up on his elbows. The haze from Brian’s joint clouded around his head. He breathed the second hand smoke deep into his lungs. Brian passed him the joint. Michael took a long drag and held it, before handing the joint back to Brian. Michael let out his breath in a rush and slight cough. “Maybe we should smoke first, then eat.”

Brian, still laid out flat on his back, raised his eyebrows and ruminated on that thought.

“Of course,” Michael continued, “if we did that we probably wouldn’t have the food here when we needed it. And everyone knows that fried chicken and pizza are best enjoyed hot.”

“Unless you’re Justin,” Brian supplied.

“Huh?” Michael was feeling the effects of the pot and wasn’t working entirely on all cylinders. “Unless Justin... what?”

“Justin, he likes cold pizza for breakfast.”

Michael frowned. He thought that they were rid of the blond twink once and for all. “Well, you don’t need to worry about having cold pizza for breakfast, he isn’t here.”

“Yeah,” Brian said softly. “No worries there.”

Michael stared over at his best friend. “That’s good -- right?” He said it assertively. They were well rid of Justin. It was back to them - Brian and Mikey, best friends. Michael studied Brian’s face, and frowned.

Brian pushed his way up from the rug and crossed to the windows and looked down onto Treamont Street. He took the last drag from the joint and stubbed it out in an ashtray on the window sill. “I want him back, Michael.”

Michael was sure he hadn’t heard right. Brian didn’t want anyone, Brian didn’t need anyone. It took a couple tries, but Michael managed to get up, his stomach churning in rebellion, the pot making him a bit off balance. He joined Brian at the window and just stared at him for a few minutes, trying to figure out if it was the pot talking.

Brian didn’t look like he was out of it. In fact, he looked incredibly sober and in control. 

“What are you going to do about it?” The words were out of his mouth before he could get his mind to engage. He didn’t want Brian to do _anything_ about the fact that Justin was gone. _Good Riddance!_ But it wasn’t that easy. 

Michael watched as Brian’s face transformed from serious to determined. Michael frowned, more sad than angry. When Brian got that look, there was nothing anyone could do. Michael knew better than to try, but it didn’t stop him from asking, “Why?”

Brian turned from the window to look at Michael. “I want him back.” That’s all Michael was going to get.


	25. Be Careful What You Wish For II

Justin slammed the door in frustration.

“Problem?” Daphne was sitting on the couch, a textbook cradled in her lap.

“Fucking Brian! Everywhere I go -- there he is.”

Daphne rolled her eyes. “I thought that was the whole idea of getting the internship at Ryder.”

“No!” Justin flopped down on the futon next to Daphne. “It was supposed to be that everywhere _he_ went _I’d_ be there. _Not_ the other way around!”

“So what does it matter? What’s the difference?”

“ _I_ was supposed to be the one in control. _I_ was the one who was supposed to keep _him_ off balance. Now... I... Shit! I can’t escape. He actually showed up at the PIFA library last week under the guise that he was doing research. He was at my desk when I went to study for my Art History class! He’s got me looking over my shoulder all the time. I expect him to pop up like some fucking jack-in-the-box. It’s annoying... disturbing... frustrating...”

“Ah....” There was a wealth of wisdom in that simple phrase. 

Justin eyed Daphne.

“You need to get laid.”

“Whatthefuck?”

“He’s got you all hot and bothered. You need to get laid. You need to get out. Look, I’ll be gone all weekend...”

“Ah yes, visiting the beau in Baltimore...”

“Damn skippy! Anyway, I’ll be out of the way, you can bring someone home and be as loud as you want.”

Justin blew out some air. Maybe Daphne was right.

“I’ll think about it.” Anything would be better than spending the holiday weekend alone brooding about Brian.

“Don’t think. Do!”

~~~~~~

Justin looked the time on his cell phone for the third time in as many minutes. _Fuck!_ He knew he’d been pushing his luck when he’d agreed to meet his friends here at Woody’s before heading to Babylon for the night. Tom and Terrance were always late, but Josh had promised he’d have them there by 9:30. Now it was closing in on 10 and Justin knew if he didn’t leave soon Brian and his gang would show up. Brian was the last person he wanted to see right now.

At first, Justin had been pleased with himself, thinking it quite the coup not only to have gotten the internship at Ryder, but to be tapped to work with Brian almost from the start. But then his plan backfired, and he found himself caught in a game of cat and mouse. Brian seem to take perverse pleasure in keeping him on edge to the point that Justin was having trouble concentrating on his work. Brian’s moves were never overt, and never in sight of anyone. And they were just irregular enough that Justin was never prepared. He was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

As if on cue, Ted and Emmett pushed through the door to Woody’s and Justin was confident that Brian and Michael were right behind them. Justin turned back to his beer. 

Ted glanced around the somewhat crowded room looking to see if there was a booth free. He stopped short when he noticed Justin at the bar nursing a beer.

“Uh-oh. Look’s like Brian’s stalker is back,” he announced sotto voco to Emmett.

Justin felt a prickle at the back of his neck. Absently he raised a hand to pass over the hairs that seemed to stand on end. Turning toward the door, he watched as Brian crossed the threshold into the bar and moved to stand next to Ted and Emmett.

Brian followed the direction of Ted’s gaze.

“It’s a bit hard to be stalking me, when he was here in the first place and we’ve just arrived.” Brian dismissed Ted’s assumption, but his eyes strayed to Justin’s. They stared at one another a beat longer than what may have been normal for a cursory acknowledgment of acquaintances. Brian felt a stirring in his groin. He gave his head a shake and crossed to a booth occupied by empty beer mugs and two men making out . “Fuck! find a stall,” Brian commanded as he pulled them out of the booth; the two lovers quickly scrambled away. Brian looked back at his entourage. “Well?”

Michael and Ted quickly joined Brian, as Emmett made a bee-line for the bar... and Justin.

“Baby!”

Justin couldn’t help his laughing smile. “Emmett.”

Emmett hopped up on a stool. “Cosmo, two Sierra Nevada’s and a double JB,” he called out to the bartender before turning his attention to Justin. “Baby, it’s been tooooooo long. Where have you been? It’s like you fell off the side of the earth or something.”

“I’ve been busy with school. This is my senior year and I have an internship. I don’t have a lot of time.”

“We’ve missed your smiling face - that little ray of Sunshine.”

Justin rolled his eyes, but smiled at Emmett anyway.

The bartender placed Emmett’s drink order in front of him and took the proffered twenty and five dollar bills.

“Well, you’re here now, and so are we, so you come right over and join us!” Emmett tried to gather up the drinks. “A little help here?”

Justin drained his beer and gathered up the two bottles as Emmett raised the Cosmo to his lips and picked up the double JB. He followed Emmett to the booth. Placing the bottles on the table, Justin nodded to Michael and Ted before turning toward Brian.

“Taylor.”

“Mr. Kinney.”

“Will you be joining us this evening?”

Justin batted his eyelashes -- once -- and gave a slight moue. “I have previous plans.” He looked toward the door as his friends tumbled in. He turned to leave, but not before Brian caught his hand in his.

Justin turned back and the look that passed between himself and Brian was intriguing. He gave a little pull and Brian slowly released his hand, until all but their fingertips were touching.

“Later.” Brian said it softly.

“Later,” Justin echoed.

\---

Justin had been truthful. It was a rare night out with his friends from PIFA. Between projects, his internship and senior coursework, his social time had been greatly restricted this final semester. It was enjoyable to get out and have some fun -- dancing was freeing. He’d tried to get his friends to try one of the other clubs on Liberty Avenue, but they were uncharacteristically vocal in their objections, claiming that Babylon offered the best looking guys.

So Justin resigned himself to the fact that he’d be seeing Brian, Emmett and the rest of the gang again that evening. It wasn’t too bad, they probably wouldn’t be there much before eleven or twelve. It was Friday night after all. He’d cut out around midnight - that would mean a minimum of overlap with Brian.

By 11:30, Josh had hooked up with a cute brown haired guy and signaled to his friends as he left the club. Tom and Terrance abandoned dancing in favor of finding a dark corner where they could make out. Justin didn’t think they’d stick around much longer. Regardless, he continued to dance with no one in particular in the sea of men who packed the dance floor. The DJ’s mix was particularly hot tonight and he deserved some harmless entertainment.

A prickling of the hairs at the back of his neck had Justin looking around. _Brian!_ But the man in question was no where in sight. Justin checked his cell phone - midnight. He decided to head out.

High above on the catwalk Brian watched as Justin headed toward the exit. Not wanting to deal with being cross-examined by Michael, he slipped out the fire exit.

\---

Turning out of the alley from where Babylon was off Liberty Avenue, Justin’s shoulders slumped as he watched his bus pull away. _Shit!_ At this time of night, the busses to Daphne’s only ran once an hour. He turned up the collar of his coat against the wind and cupped his hands as he lit up a cigarette. He crossed the street to the bus shelter and huddled in a corner trying to stay warm against the cold. He considered going down the street to the Liberty Diner but decided against it. With the way his luck was running tonight, he’d run into Brian again.

But he didn’t have to go to the diner to find Brian.

Justin watched as a Brian’s black Jeep pulled up and stopped in front of the shelter. The passenger window rolled down.

Brian faced Justin and raised his eyebrows. Justin grimaced.

“Miss the bus?”

“Another will come along.”

Brian looked at his watch. “Not for nearly an hour. Don’t be a martyr; get in.”

“Brian...”

“Justin, get in. I’ll drop you off at Daphne’s.”

“But it’s out of the way.” Even as he protested, he dropped his cigarette butt and climbed in. 

Brian waited until Justin had buckled up before pulling away from the curb.

The ride to Daphne’s was silent. Justin tried not to breathe too deeply. The jeep was warming up and with it the air filled with the scents he associated with Brian -- his aftershave, a faint smell of JB and cigarettes. On anyone else it would have been repugnant, on Brian it was intoxicating.

All too soon the trip was over. With a quick thanks to Brian, Justin hopped out and up the steps to the apartment building. Brian drove down to the end of the deserted street and executed a U-turn. On his way back he noted that Justin was still on the landing of the steps to the apartment building. He slowed, then stopped and rolled down his window.

“Forget something?”

Justin looked over his shoulder. “My keys, I’m locked out.”

“Buzz Daphne, she might not be too pleased with you waking her up, but she’ll let you in.”

Justin turned around. “I can’t. She went to Baltimore for the weekend. She’s visiting her boyfriend.”

“Apartment manger?”

“I called, there’s no one in the office until Tuesday - because of the holiday weekend -- and no one’s answering the emergency number.”

It was ridiculous having this conversation across the street in the cold. Justin trudged down the steps and crossed the empty street to where Brian’s Jeep was idling. “I can’t even leave a message, the voicemail box is full.”

Brian gave a snort. “Get in. If I had known how fucked up this evening was going to get, I wouldn’t have bothered hauling your ass all the way across town.”

Justin climbed in and once again buckled up. “Where are we going?”

“The loft. You can stay there until you raise someone who has a key.”

“Oh... but...”

Brian shifted in his seat until he was eye level with Justin. Hazel eyes bore into blue ones. “What? You think I’m going to leave you here to freeze in the cold, Sunshine?” The question started out hard, but ended in a soft whisper. 

Brian snaked a gloved hand around the back of Justin’s neck and pulled him close. Justin closed his eyes and breathed deep. Brian knocked his forehead against Justin’s and rubbed their noses together. Brian straightened, and shifted the car into first. Eyes forward Brian navigated the empty street. “Besides, Daphne would have my ass if you got frostbite!”

...

“What are you doing?” The sing-song question startled Justin.

Upon entering the loft, Brian had headed toward the bathroom. Justin, unsure exactly what he should do, decided it best to make a bed for himself on the couch. He was shaking out a sheet that ended up cloaking him and the couch.

“Uh, making a bed?” Justin watched Brian as he stepped down from his bedroom to the living area of the loft. Brian had divested himself of his shoes, socks and shirt. His tight jeans molded to his hips, but were unbuttoned and Justin could clearly see a nest of dark brown hair. He was grateful for the way he was cloaked with the sheet; better that Brian didn’t know how effected he was by him.

“The bed is large enough for two.” Brian held up his hand as if taking an oath. and in a serious voice said, “I promise not to compromise your virtue.”

Justin laughed a little nervously. “I’ll be fine on the couch.”

“Have it your way.” Brian turned abruptly and headed back up the stairs to bed. “There are clean toothbrushes in the linen closet, help yourself.” The last was thrown over his shoulder as he let his jeans drop to the floor and pulled back the duvet. Brian climbed into bed and turned out the bedside lamp.

Justin slipped quietly into the bathroom and puttered around for a while. He hoped that by the time he’d finished in the bathroom Brian would be asleep. Justin opened the bathroom door slightly and peered at the bed. All clear. It appeared that Brian had fallen asleep. With a longing look at the bed and a small little sigh, Justin quietly tip-toed to the couch.

...

“Justin... Justin.”

Someone was shaking him. Justin closed his eyes tightly and burrowed under the sheet on the couch.

“Justin!” Brian nearly shouted as he grasped Justin’s shoulders. “Wake up! Your having a bad dream.”

“Huh?”

“You were dreaming; you’ve been making noises for the last hour. Come to bed.”

Justin sat up on the sofa. “What am I doing here?”

“Don’t look at me, you wanted to sleep on the couch.”

Justin rubbed his eyes. “Why would I do that? The bed is much more comfortable.” Still half asleep he navigated himself up the stairs and threw himself on the bed. He pulled the duvet over himself and promptly went to sleep.

Brian shook his head to clear it. _Whatever_. He joined Justin in the bed and wrestled a piece of the duvet away from the sleeping man. Justin promptly rolled seeking the heat source of Brian’s body. Instinctually, Brian pulled Justin close, wrapping his arms around the younger man. In his sleep, Justin began to feather a trail of kisses along Brian’s collarbone and along his chest. 

Brian’s self-restraint was sorely tested when the blond head disappeared below the edge of the bedcover. “Justin...”

“Mmphf...?” Justin seemed to gather speed as he headed south.

Brian was tempted to let him continue. He shifted a knee, blocking Justin’s path. “Justin!”

Justin surfaced from the sheets scrubbing his face with his hands. “Brian?! What are you doing in my bed?”

“I’m not in _your_ bed, you’re in _my_ bed!” He was awake at four in the morning, sporting a painful hard-on and trying to be diplomatic. It was ironic, all he wanted to do was flip Justin over and take him right there. He may just yet.

“What am I doing in your bed?”

“Locked out... Daphne in Baltimore... cold outside... Any of this ringing a bell??”

That woke Justin up. He scrambled over to the opposite side of the bed, clutching the sheet to himself.

Brian chuckled. “Your maidenly virtue is safe with me -- unless you start something again, then all bets are off.” He gave the sheet a tug, pulling it out of Justin’s hands so he was barely covered. “Good night, Justin.”

Brian rolled over and presented Justin his back.

Justin sat there for a while trying to figure out just what the hell was going on. Finally, he surrendered to the warmth of the bed and peace of sleep.

...

Brian woke up with a weight on his chest, drool on his shoulder and a hard-on that was currently being nicely rubbed by a warm and equally hard cock.

“Mmmmmm,” the lump on his shoulder sighed happily.

Brian looked down at Justin whose eyes were shut, smiling happily. _Fuck!_ “What is it with you?” Brian nudged Justin off his body. “If you’re going to start things, at least have the decency to be awake!” Brian threw back the covers and stomped off to the shower.

“Huh?” Justin blinked a few times. Half asleep he plodded into the bathroom, relieved himself and joined Brian in the shower before fully coming awake. 

The blast of water finally roused Justin from his sleep.

“Oh shit!”

Brian looked down at Justin. “What now?”

“I shouldn’t be here.”

“Where ‘here’ exactly? In my apartment? In my bathroom? In my shower? In the way of my hard-on?” The last was said as Brian rubbed against Justin’s hip.

Justin jerked, but didn’t move away. His cock was certainly showing similar signs. Brian shifted the soap from himself to Justin. Justin tried to stay still. He closed his eyes and a soft moan escaped.

“What the fuck are we doing?”

At Brian’s question, Justin blinked his eyes open.

“Well... uh...”

Brian captured Justin’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing the younger man to meet his eyes. Brian studied Justin’s face. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” And that was it, Brian lowered his mouth to Justin’s.

He’d seen it coming. If Justin was truthful with himself, he wanted what was coming. No more cat and mouse, no more temptation, no more teasing, no more anticipation. Just raw, animal, satisfaction. Justin clutched at Brian’s shoulders, pulling him down, pulling him closer. He wound a leg around one hip and gently rubbed against Brian.

“C’mon,” Brian pulled Justin out of the shower and threw a towel at him. Off balance and disoriented Justin couldn’t figure out what was going on. He watched as Brian quickly toweled off and headed to the bedroom.

“Justin!” Brian grabbed his attention. “You coming?”

Justin moved to the doorway of the bedroom, towel lightly clutched at his chest. He looked at Brian in bewilderment.

Brian walked over to him, took the towel from him and tossed it into the bathroom. Taking Justin by the hand he led him to the bed.

“I’m not going to do this unless you want it too. I damn sure hope you want this too.”

Justin reached a hand out to Brian’s face. “You were wrong, you know?”

Brian closed his eyes, maybe he should have kept his mouth shut and just gone with what they were feeling in the shower.

Justin tugged at the back of Brian’s head. Brian opened his eyes. “It’s you who is beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful.” He pulled Brian’s head to his and brushed their lips together. “How could you ever think I didn’t want this too? When we’re together, we’re amazing. I’ve tried, but I can’t stay away.” Justin rested his head on Brian’s chest.

Brian’s arms raised and encircled Justin. Together they sat, then lay together on Brian’s big comfortable bed. With one arm around Justin’s waist, Brian stroked Justin with his free hand - his hair, his arms, his back.

It felt so fucking good. _Why couldn’t Brian be this Brian all the time?_ Justin wondered as lifted his head and stared into Brian’s deep, dark eyes. Brian saw the question -- Why?

Brian pulled Justin up and closer, softly, tenderly he reigned kisses along Justin’s jaw, down his neck, across his shoulder, then he returned and captured his mouth. Justin savored each kiss, the slow stroke of Brian’s tongue against his, the sweet taste of his lovers mouth. When he thought he could stand it no more, Brian lightly shifted their positions and began a second pass, now with Justin beneath him.

Brian’s hand performed a litany of praise as they swept along Justin’s thighs, then arms. Their fingers entwined when he reached his hands, and Brian brought their interwoven hands alongside their shoulders.

His hands confined, Justin only had his legs to capture Brian. Each leg wound around Brian’s hips, meeting behind his thighs where they crossed as Justin used the muscles in his legs to pull Brian closer. 

Brian let go of Justin’s hand to reach the nightside table for lube and a condom. He dropped the condom in Justin’s hand.

“Put it on me,” Brian said releasing Justin’s other hand. He lightly shook his hips free of the confinement of Justin’s legs and leaned to the side making himself more accessible.

Now, with both hands free, Brian slicked his fingers and dropped the tube to the floor. Brian dragged his wet fingers between Justin’s thighs seeking the warm folds that claimed his hand. 

Preparation took only a few moments, they were both ready and not willing to wait further. Justin’s sigh was echoed by Brian as he slipped into the one place he now knew he’d rather be than anywhere else.

They took it slow. Hands rediscovering one another, caressing limbs; lips pressing against each other, tongues exploring, creating wet paths along jaws, collarbones, necks, ears. And most of all, a feeling of filling and being filled, something missing that was missing no longer. 

There was anticipation and expectation. And when every expectation had been met, there was calm, and silence, and peace.

Laying together in the aftermath, Justin curled into Brian’s warmth against the cooling sweat, and basked in Brian’s presence. Pulling a sheet up over them, Brian pulled Justin a bit closer. His fingers carded through Justin’s hair, as he stroked the man in his arms. 

Justin drifted off to sleep, but Brian remained awake for another hour or so trying to make sense of what his life might hold. He knew that circumstances rather than intention was the reason Justin was here in his home. If he could figure out a way...


	26. Where There’s a Will

Brian Kinney wouldn’t call it _making love_ \-- that would be far too lesbianic. However, he knew that what went on between Justin and himself had certainly gone beyond _just a fuck_. And though technically accurate, having sex was too clinical, too sanitary, too... detached. What happened when he and Justin were together was... Brian looked down at the head he was stroking... _Beautiful_.

_What made Justin so special?_ Michael had asked Brian that. At the time he didn’t have an answer. But Brian recognized the fact that Justin was different... that Justin was _special_. That together, they were more... different... better.

No, he wouldn’t call it _making love_. Shit! Why did he have to call it anything?

_So what are you going to do?_ Wasn’t that the $64,000 question? Brian had been surprised with Justin’s unexpected appearance as the new intern in the Art Department at Ryder. He had been was pleased when Justin had been assigned to his projects. And, while he’d never say it, he was ecstatic with the work Justin had produced for his campaigns. 

Brian had also enjoyed the ongoing game of cat and mouse with his young lover. He especially enjoyed keeping him off balance. Brian smiled thinking back to the past week when he’d installed himself in Justin’s library carrel at PIFA.

A hand stole up Brian’s body, petting a path. Justin stirred and blinked. A smile slowly broke across his face. Brian returned a small grin.

No, he wouldn’t call it _making love_. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Justin smiled and buried his head in Brian’s shoulder. 

Brian nudged Justin. “We going to sleep all day?”

Justin looked up and slyly asked, “What did you have in mind?”

“Shower? Food? Clean sheets? Then a marathon of fu...” A gasp from the steps drew Brian’s gaze. “What the fuck? Michael!”

Michael was turning to leave.

Brian got up from the bed, jostling Justin in his haste to cross to the man now frozen in the frame of the doorway.

Brian, naked in all his glory, grabbed hold of Michael’s shoulder. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Michael looked away, then at Justin, then Brian, and finally at some imaginary spot on the wooden steps. “ We were supposed to meet at the gym. You just disappeared last night... I thought you... Dammit! I thought maybe something had happened! No one had seen you. You weren’t answering your phone.”

Brian patted himself -- realizing he wasn’t wearing any clothes -- he descended the steps to where he’d left his jeans. He pulled the phone from his pocket -- seven missed calls. He scrolled through them -- five from Michael, two from Lindsay. He crossed over to the answering machine and turned up the volume. He scanned through the messages from Michael - four more. 

Then Lindsay “I’m sorry this is short notice, but Mel’s mom is ill and she went to Florida. I wasn’t supposed to have to work the gallery opening tonight, but... damn it Brian! where are you? I need you. Deb said she’d watch Gus, but she has to work tonight. If I leave him with Deb, would you please -- PLEASE! get Gus and keep him at the loft until I close up the Gallery at 11pm?”

As he listened to the message, he pulled on his jeans, not bothering button them. “Fuck!”

Justin appeared from the bedroom, dressed in a pair of Brian’s sweats and one of Brian’s tee-shirts. He descended the steps, giving Michael wide birth. “I’d be happy to help watch Gus.”

Brian looked across the loft space and smiled. _That’s why I love him... Oh, Fuck._ The smile faltered a little before it steadied and Brian crossed to Justin. Grabbing Justin’s face in his hands, he kissed Justin soundly on the mouth. “I knew there was a reason to keep you around.” 

“I would have helped,” Michael pouted.

“But now you don’t have to.” Brian slung an arm around Justin’s shoulders and turned to face Michael.

“Yeah, well, Ma has to go in to work at four. It’s after two now. You... you and Boy Wonder here better get a move on. I don’t think that you should pick Gus up from Ma when you reek like the back room at Babylon.”

Justin turned to look up at Brian. “He’s right, you know.” Justin pulled away and headed toward the bathroom, shedding clothes along the way.

“Well, nice of you to stop by Mikey.” Brian herded Michael to the door, and gently, but firmly pushed him out.

“What?! Wait! We’re supposed to go to Woody’s, then Babylon tonight.”

“No can do -- as you just heard, I’m on Gus duty.”

“But... but...” Michael pointed to Justin. “He can babysit -- he and Gus should have plenty in common.” Michael snickered at his own joke.

Brian gave a derisive snort. “No, Michael. Justin offered to help. Gus is my responsibility.”

Michael stopped and stared at Brian. 

~~~~~~

Brian grabbed the soap from Justin and spun him around. “You sure you want diaper duty?”

Justin shrugged. “It’s not like I have anywhere else to go. I like Gus the few times I’ve met him. Why not?”

~~~~~~

It turned out that Brian, Justin and Gus actually had a good time. Brian admired Justin’s ability to keep up with Gus’ non-stop energy. Somehow, when Brian wasn’t looking, Gus had grown up into a very active four year old. Justin not only kept pace with Gus, he’d manage to intercede more than once before Gus broke something or hurt himself.

But now Gus was like a balloon slowly deflating. Though he fought it every step of the way, there was not getting around it, Gus was down for the count. Finally, there’d be peace and quiet in the loft.

Brian swung the tired boy up in his arms and carted him off to the bathroom. Divesting Gus of his clothes, Brian quickly gave Gus a rinse in the shower. The spray of the water briefly revived the four year old. A whirling dervish ran out of the bathroom and across the loft to come to a quick stop in front of Justin. 

Gus stood there naked. “What are you doing?”

Justin looked up from his pad of paper where he’d been sketching pictures of Gus and Brian. “I’m drawing. Would you like to see?”

Gus smiled solemnly, and moved behind Justin to look at the sketch pad. 

Brian crossed to his son, a towel thrown over his shoulder. Justin smiled at Brian. “Looks like he takes after you,” he nodded to Brian.

Brian smirked.

Gus grabbed the Justin’s sleeve. “Draw more! Draw more!”

“Gus, it’s time for bed.” Brian tried to remind his son that he was past his bedtime.

“I’ll tell you what Gus,” Justin started. “If you climb into bed and settle down, I’ll come and draw you.”

Gus moved to his father, tugging on his hand. “C’mon Dad, you can tell me a story and Justin can draw us again!”

“Huh.” Brian huffed out the response, as his son led him back up to the bedroom.

Justin picked up his pad and his pencils. He moved around the loft turning out or dimming lights before heading to the bedroom. Brian had managed to get Gus under the covers and was curled up next to his son.

Justin drew father and son, as Brian spun a tale about a handsome prince in Ireland. Brian’s soothing voice soon had Gus asleep, and Justin wasn’t that far away as his head bowed over the pad as he sat in the chair alongside the bed. Brian soon nodded off as well.

The pull on the loft door woke Justin from his dozing. He rubbed his eyes as he crossed the loft and came face to face with a blonde woman he surmised was Gus’ mother Lindsay.

He motioned for her to be quiet.

“Who are you?” The question was whispered sharply.

“I’m Justin. You must be Lindsay.” He proffered a hand, but was too tired to notice that Lindsay ignored it.

“Where’s Brian?” Again a sharp whisper.

Justin yawned and stretched, “He’s in the bedroom curled up with Gus. I think Gus wore him out.” Justin led her to the stairs. “They’re really beautiful together. I was sketching them, but fell asleep.” He grabbed his pad from the nearby chair and crossed to where Brian and Gus were curled up on the bed. Gently, he stroked Brian’s shoulder until the older man slowly awoke. Brian turned into Justin’s hand and catching it, placed a kiss into Justin’s palm.

“Lindsay’s here.” Justin spoke softly.

Brian looked beyond Justin to Lindsay. He rose from the bed slowly as to not disturb their sleeping son. He held Justin’s hand for an instant then let it drop as he moved to Lindsay. He took her elbow and escorted her down the stairs away from the sleeping Gus. Lindsay had a perplexed look on her face, which quickly turned angry.

She turned on Brian. “I can’t believe you have a trick here when you’re babysitting!”

Brian felt the anger rise, but it quickly dissipated as Justin joined them and smoothed a hand up Brian’s back. Brian smiled at Justin before facing Lindsay. “Justin’s not a trick.”

Lindsay hrumphed, but otherwise kept quiet. She’d seen Justin around briefly here and there, but there had been no indication that he was of any importance in Brian’s life. Surely, she would know if Brian had a boyfriend. No, Brian didn’t do boyfriends. Her Peter Pan was free. And yet...

Brian returned to the bedroom to dress a sleepy Gus, while Justin gathered Gus’ toys and things into his knapsack. Handing the bag to Lindsay, he commented. “He’s really a great kid. You can see how much he loves his dad, and how much Brian loves him. They really enjoy the time they spend together.”

Lindsay eyed Justin suspiciously, until her manners kicked in. “Thank you.” Whether it was for the bag of Gus’ belongings or the advice, she wasn’t sure.

Brian arrived with Gus draped over his shoulder. Justin smiled.

Lindsay reached out, but Brian shook his head. “I’ll carry him down to the car for you.”

They left the loft and Justin behind.

...

Brian settled the sleeping Gus into his car seat and buckled him in. He smoothed the child’s hair back and kissed his head. “Sweet dreams, Sonny Boy.”

Brian straightened and nearly knocked into Lindsay. She was staring at him.

“What?” Brian’s tone was gruff.

“You.”

Brian raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“You’re different.”

“I’m the same fabulous fag I’ve ever been.”

“No, you’re... softer.”

Brian winced.

“Oh please, it’s not the end of the world. It’s nice to see you so involved and caring with Gus.”

“I love my son.” Brian’s words were said quietly and Lindsay had no doubt.

“So, who is Justin, if he’s not a trick?”

Brian shrugged off the question. He wasn’t about to make some lesbianic declaration. Certainly not to his lesbian. “I don’t know. The guy I fuck more than once?”

Lindsay gave him a look and laughed. “You should bring him to dinner at Deb’s tomorrow.”

“Why would I want to do that?” 

“Oh Brian...” Lindsay chuckled as she got behind he wheel, this truly was looking to be serious.

Brian closed Lindsay’s door and knocked twice on the roof of the Subaru. He stood in the street until Lindsay had pulled away and turned the corner. Brian headed back to the loft and Justin. He told himself he wouldn’t smile.  
~~~~

“That... was...” Justin breathed hard, in and out, unable to finish the sentence.

“Hot?” Brian was breathing equally hard, but managed to get the word out.

Justin nodded in agreement and collapsed onto the bed. Brian was right beside him. Justin turned into Brian’s body, and his stomach made a weird roiling noise. Justin could feel Brian’s body shake with laughter.

“I guess that puts things in perspective.”

Justin pushed at Brian’s shoulder.

Brian rolled from the bed and padded into the bathroom. “Remind me to feed you before the next round. You’re stomach growling takes the glow off the moment.”

Justin joined Brian at the toilet to piss. “Sorry, I’m a growing boy.”

Brian moved behind Justin’s back and rubbed against the younger man. “Ah, youth, you require no rest.”

Justin leaned back into Brian, who promptly slapped him on the ass.

“Ow!” Justin rubbed his sore butt with his hand. “What was that for?”

“No time to linger, c’mon, into the shower. Debbie will have my balls if we’re late.”

“Debbie? From the diner? Are we going to the diner?”

“Into the shower, all will be explained in due time, young Justin.”


	27. He's With Me

Justin watched as Brian turned the Jeep down the street lined with parked cars and red brick row houses. The jeep stopped in front of one of the nondescript homes, it’s narrow lot framed by a row of small hedges and an iron gate.

“You going to get out?” Brian had his hand on the door handle, when he looked back at Justin who was still seated.

Justin’s brow furrowed. “Aren’t we going to the diner?”

“No.” Brian alighted from the Jeep crossed to the sidewalk.

Finally, it dawned on Justin that he was at Debbie’s house. _The infamous Sunday night dinners._ He’d heard Brian and his friends talk about the weekly family dinners. He’d never been invited to attend before. Of course, he hadn’t really been invited tonight. He was a guest in Brian’s loft for the weekend through a series of unfortunate circumstances. On the other hand, Brian could have just left him at the loft...

“Justin.” Brian’s voice was commanding and clear. “You coming?”

Justin scrambled out of the Jeep and up the walk to the door moments before it was flung open by Debbie herself.

“About fucking time!” Debbie stopped short, the annoyance on her face giving way to a smile as she recognized Justin. “Sunshine! What are you doing here?”

Brian climbed up the steps unhurriedly, joining them on the stoop. “He’s with me.” The statement brooked no further discussion. Debbie looked Brian in the eyes, but wisely kept her mouth shut. They were ushered inside with a minimum of fanfare and fuss.

The tableau in the living room became silent as Brian and Justin divested themselves of their jackets and moved down from the landing into the midst of seated people.

Totally oblivious to the awkward moment Gus broke the silence.

“Justin!” Gus flew across the small living room and barreled into Justin’s knees. Luckily Brian was directly behind him, or Justin would have found himself flat on his glorious ass courtesy of the younger Kinney.

Gus grabbed Justin’s hand and tugged him into the living room where he was constructing a fort with Legos.

Silence broken, discussions started up once again. Michael moved to where Brian still stood near the foyer. “What is this? Adopt a Trick? What’s he doing here?” he hissed at his best friend.

“He not a trick.” Brian kept his voice low, but the censure was apparent. “Besides, he’s staying at the loft...”

“At the loft?!” Michael’s voice rose perilously high and loud, so much that most of the room turned to the men near the landing. “What the fuck is he doing at the loft?”

Justin, who along with everyone else in the room, couldn’t help but hear the question, answered. “I got locked out of my apartment. My roommate is gone for the weekend and I can’t get to the management office until Tuesday because of the holiday weekend. Brian’s letting me stay at the loft until I can get back into my apartment.”

“But! But!...” Michael sputtered.

“He invited me to join you...” Justin looked around the room at the faces, “... all of you, for dinner.” He looked at Debbie. “I hope that’s all right?”

Debbie gave Justin a big grin. “Of course it is, Sunshine. You’re welcome anytime.” She gave Michael a withered stare. “Even if you’re not locked out.”

The room resumed the clutches of conversation. Michael went to sit next to Ben, pouting a bit. Which Ben, thankfully, found the look kind of attractive. He attempted to soothe his boyfriend’s ego.

Brian moved further into the living room, intent on joining his son and Justin, but Deb pulled him aside. “You did good, kiddo. You stick up for your man, and he’ll stick up for you.”

“He’s not _my_ man!” Brian whispered sharply at Debbie, who merely gave him a knowing smile and headed for the kitchen.

“You won’t win.” Vic told him.

Brian gave a perturbed grimace. Vic laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “How about some wine?”

Brian nodded and followed Vic into the dining area.

...

All in all, dinner was fairly uneventful. Lindsay engaged Justin in discussion about his artwork and plans for after graduation. 

“I’d like to work on my art full time. I’m really enjoying my internship at Ryder...”

That caught Michael’s ear and he glared at Brian seated next to him. “He’s at Ryder? What’s he doing? _Servicing Accounts?_ ” Michael snorted a laughed at his own joke.

Brian turned and spoke clearly. “Actually Michael, Justin’s internship has benefited both himself and Ryder. The work coming out of the art department has improved since he joined us. He’ll be sorely missed when internship is over.” Justin blushed under Brian’s unexpected praise. “He could have a good future in advertising if he wanted.”

“Well,” Lindsay breathed. “High praise indeed. But if you want to pursue your art, you should go to New York.”

_New York? What the fuck?_ Brian’s swung his head around to face Lindsay and Justin, before he could stop himself. The movement not missed by Emmett and Ted. Brian schooled his features to relax as he asked nonchalantly, “New York?”

Lindsay turned to Brian. “Of course, Justin’s young, he’s talented, he has nothing to tie him down.” She smiled at Justin, “He’s foot loose and fancy free. Think of it Justin, the galleries, the museums, New York is the center of art world.” Lindsay allowed herself a giggle, “of course, that is if you don’t include Paris.” She sighed, “Paris, if you could go to Paris...”

_Paris?! Justin didn’t need to go to fucking Paris._ “Paris?” Brian couldn’t stop the question before it left his lips.

Justin oblivious to thoughts of the man seated next to him. “Wow, Paris. I’d love to go to Paris. And New York... it’s great... But I can’t really see myself living there. I mean, I want to be an artist, but New York, Paris, they’re so expensive.”

“But think of the opportunities!”

“Justin’s right.” Everyone at the table turned to look at Brian. “New York’s expensive. Unless he had a full time job -- one that paid very well -- he be living in some rat infested tenement learning what what it truly means to be a _starving artist_. At least in Pittsburgh he’d have time to refine his talents and pursue being an artist instead of it becoming a hobby that he gets to when he has the time or isn’t too tired from working two jobs to pay the rent.”

“That’s an interesting perspective coming from you.” Michael joined the conversation. “When you thought you had a job in New York, you couldn’t get away from Pittsburgh fast enough.”

“You were going to move to New York?” Justin looked at Brian in puzzlement. Had this been before or after they’d met?

“It’s different. If I had taken the job, it would have meant a six figure salary. As it is, it didn’t work out, and it was for the best. I’m up for partner at Ryder, and that deal should be closed by the end of the month. Partner at Ryder will pay the six figure salary and give me a piece of the company. If I had gone to New York, it would take me ten years to get to that position, and I’d be one of twenty-five or so partners.”

Brian turned to Justin. “Don’t let them blow smoke up your skirt, Sunshine. New York is a great place to be when you’re at the top of the heap. And with your talent, you’re sure to get there. But you have more opportunity in this burg where you can live for a fraction of the cost and devote your time to pursuing your dream.” _Fuck! Did I really just plea for Justin to stay here in the Pitts?_

“Brian!” The censure in Lindsay’s voice was evident.”

Justin thought about Brian’s words and smiled. “He’s right Lindsay. It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. Actually, Ryder has offered me a full-time position once I graduate.”

“They have?” It was news to Brian.

Justin turned to the older man. And smiled shyly. “Yeah, it seems that one of their senior account execs has commented positively on my work. Rare praise from the man, as they tell it.”

“Yeah, well...”

“I told them that I wasn’t really interested in full time, and they’ve offered me free lance work -- as much as I want.” Justin turned to Lindsay. “It’s really the best of both worlds, I can make enough to live and work full time -- well, almost full time -- on my art. I’ve actually been working on putting my portfolio together so I can visit some galleries here in town. I’ve gotten good reviews at the PIFA shows, and now I need to move to the next level. If I can get into some group shows here in town, eventually a solo show, I think I’ll have enough momentum to try the New York galleries.”

“Then you are thinking about New York.” Lindsay smiled, pleased. 

Brian felt himself tense.

Justin shook his head. “Not to live.” Brian could feel himself relax once again. “But sure, New York... or Chicago... they both have opportunities for an artist once he’s established.”

LIndsay seemed satisfied. “So what are you working on now? What medium do you prefer?”

Justin dove into the change of subject. He hadn’t been oblivious to the man seated next to him throughout his discussion with Lindsay. He hoped that he’d managed to hide the smile that pulled at the muscles in his cheeks. _Brian Kinney gives a damn!_

~~~

“Did you really mean what you said earlier?” They were in the Jeep headed back to the loft.

“That you should stop at three servings of lasagna?”

“No,” Justin laughed. “About staying in Pittsburgh. That you really think that I’d be better off as an artist; that I’d have more opportunities here.”

“Justin, you have to make that decision on your own. But, yeah, I meant what I said. I looked at the whole New York thing and figured that I could build my future here, and when the opportunity was right take it to New York if I wanted... On my own terms. I have a certain lifestyle I can afford here. I have Gus... and Michael... Debbie, Vic and Linds.” _And maybe, you?_ “I’m too fucking stubborn and unwilling to give up Armani, Prada and Gucci to live hand to mouth in New York.”

“But you said the job was six figures!”

“It doesn’t go very far when the government gets a third and you’re paying two thousand a month in rent for a eight hundred square foot studio apartment.”

“Fuck!”

“Exactly.” Brian wheeled into his parking space. “And, Chist, you should see how much it cost to insure a car and pay for parking.” He hopped out of the Jeep and waited for Justin to get out.

“I figure, with the partnership and my bonuses, I can fly to New York once a month, stay at the Plaza and fuck all weekend.” He leered comically at Justin. “And maintain myself in the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed. Who knows, I might be able to afford two plane tickets.”

Justin laughed. “I think we should try out the Four Seasons... and the Court... check out their bathrooms.” Donning a fake British accent, he continued, “I do believe that the Plaza’s shower left something to be desired.”

Brian laughed and slung his arm around Justin’s shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to Justin’s forehead. They walked companionably up the stairs to the loft.


	28. Back at the Loft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! this is not the end despite everyone thinking it is - there are two more chapters.

Brian shut the loft door and reset the alarm. He leaned back against the wall and watched Justin who stood in the middle of the room scanning back and forth between the couch and the bedroom. 

“Figured it out yet?”

Justin startled, then quickly composed himself. He turned to see Brian cross the open space and climb the few steps to the bedroom. He felt like a voyeur, spying through the slats as Brian shed his sweater and jeans.

In tight fitting boxer briefs and sock-footed, Brian sauntered into the bathroom, stripped off the last of his clothes before reaching into the shower to turn on the water.

_Was that an invitation?_

Justin was drawn up the steps to the bathroom door. Brian stood under the rainwater showerhead lazily soaping his body. He bent low to lather his legs, making eye contact with Justin as he righted himself and his hands moved from his thighs to his dick. 

Unconsciously, Justin’s tongue darted out and licked his lips. He felt the muscles across his stomach tighten.

Brian closed his eyes and leaned back against the slick tiles of the shower wall. His fist moved slowly along his length.

Steam started to build, partially obscuring Justin’s view of Brian. 

Beneath hooded eyes, Brian watched Justin as mist fogged the glassed shower.

Justin’s hand absently rubbed against his pants, causing a small smile to pull at the corner of Brian’s mouth. He opened his eyes, lazily looking out at Justin’s fading figure. He cleared his throat and spoke clearly.

“So… are you coming… or going?”

Justin’s eyes darted about, Brian’s face, Brian’s cock; it was getting harder to see more than a shadowed outline through the rising steam. 

“Or are you coming… then going?”

Justin could feel saliva build in his mouth. His tongue swiped along his teeth and cheeks collecting it and swallowing.

“Or coming… and staying?”

Justin stepped closer and reached an arm back to grab hold of his collar and pull his shirt over his head. He tossed it aside.

Brian’s smile became a smirk. Justin toed off his shoes and dropped trou.

“I guess you’ll be staying then…”

Justin pushed down his underwear and socks and shoved them into the pile of clothes to his left. 

Boldly, Justin pulled open the shower door. Entering the stall, he pushed away Brian’s hand, fell to his knees, and took Brian’s magnificent cock in his mouth. He swallowed the length in one plunge then pulled slowly back. Only the mushroom head was held between his lips. He tongued the slit, as if in a French kiss.

Brian’s hands buried in the wet silk of Justin’s hair; he grunted in approval.

Justin’s hands molded around Brian’s thighs and framed the object of his pursuit. His tongue took long licks along the length. Justin covered Brian’s cock with his whole mouth. His splayed hands moved to curve around to Brian’s ass where his fingers lightly played along the crack. Justin hollowed his cheek creating an intense suction as he drew back and exposed the wet skin to the beating rain of the shower. Circling the head, he arrowed his tongue and probed the slippery flesh of the crown.

“Fuck!” Brian came with a shudder.

Justin consumed all Brian had to offer, holding Brian’s hips as they trembled in the aftershocks of the orgasm.

As the tremors subsided, Justin kissed his way up Brian’s gym-honed torso to his neck and finally his mouth. Brian drank deep of Justin’s lips, and when they broke contact he nuzzled Justin’s face.

“Fuck you’re good.”

“I’ve had a bit of practice.”

“And practice makes perfect.” Brian bent down to capture Justin’s lips in a lazy satisfying kiss.

They lingered in the shower. Brian pulled Justin’s back to his chest, enjoying the feel of his cock against the crack of Justin’s ass. Brian’s hands lathered Justin’s torso, wandering up and down the soft skin, and the surprisingly taut muscle beneath. His hands swept along the points where thighs met hips and lazily stroked Justin’s cock.

Justin leaned back against Brian enjoying the light massage. A sharp intake of breath caused his shoulders to jerk as Brian cupped his balls in one hand and stroked his length with the other. Water and pre-cum lubricated Justin’s cock making the strokes of Brian’s hands smooth and sensuous. Brian kept up an excruciatingly slow and steady rhythm; Justin clutched at Brian’s thighs pressing the solid muscles. Brian’s tongue reached out and traced Justin’s neck from collarbone to ear.

“Like that?”

The wet whisper teased him and Justin pushed his ass back against Brian’s hips. 

“Fuck Brian! Either finish what you’re doing or fuck me!”

Brian chuckled, and redoubling his efforts, applied more pressure. 

Justin came with short, sharp, breathy pants as Brian stroked the cum from his cock. Brian could feel Justin’s body shiver from head to toe as Justin’s footing became unsteady and the younger man melted against him. Brian pulled his arms tight around Justin’s chest and held him up; he moved back to let the wall support them both.

When Justin steadied, Brian led them back under the shower and lightly soaped Justin’s stomach and chest.

Eyes closed, Justin purred in satisfaction. He felt loose, languid and …

“C’mon, next round’s in bed…”

~*~*~*~*~

Justin couldn’t move. Flat on his back, his lungs heaving, eyes not quite focusing, it took all the energy he had to force the muscles in his neck to turn his head. The blur that was Brian slowly became clear; he watched Brian’s chest rise and fall as the older man sucked in deep breaths. 

“Fuck! That was…”

“… a-mazing.” Brian finished the sentence before he could censor himself.

“Did you just…”

“… finish your sentence?” _What the fuck?_

“Yeah…” Justin smiled and closed his eyes.

_Christ, I’m hopeless._

~*~*~*~*~

“Brian!” Justin’s protesting laugh dissolved into a moan, as Brian made his way down from Justin’s navel to the soft nest of blond curls that surrounded Justin’s cock. “No!” 

Brian raised himself on his elbows and met Justin’s eyes “No?”

Justin chuckled at the disappointment on Brian’s face. “I can’t! You’ve worn me out, there’s nothing left! You’ve exhausted all the come I have! I need sleep, I need rest…” Justin’s eye caught the time on the bedside clock. “Fuck! I’ve got to get going.”

Brian rolled over and looked at the clock. “It’s fucking eleven o’clock. Where could you possibly be going at this hour on a Monday night?”

“Daphne’s train gets in at eleven-thirty. I can finally get back in the apartment.” 

“Go in the morning.”

“I can’t. I have to be at work!”

“So?”

“I don’t have anything to wear… I can’t go in the cargos that I was wearing this weekend -- I don’t think sweats are going to cut it. And even though your suits are beautiful, I don’t think they’d fit me.”

“You have clothes here.”

“I do?”

“Sure, you left them… behind…”

Justin’s swallowed, he could feel moisture gathering along the bottom of his eyes, he blinked back the tears and took a swipe with the back of his hand. “You kept…” Justin swallowed. He didn’t know what to say. 

“What? … no comment?” Brian smirked. “Then I guess I can get back to what I was doing before I was so rudely interrupted.” He buried his head in Justin’s lap.

And Justin made sure not to interrupt.


	29. Blowup

To Brian’s way of thinking, his little weekend with Justin played right into his plans. There was no need to go chasing after Justin since he had dropped into his lap. Now all he had to do keep him there.

Brian had tried to convince Justin to wear the blue cashmere sweater in to Ryder the next day, but Justin protested he wouldn’t be able to get any work done because Brian would be bothering him all day. Besides, if an intern showed up in such an expensive sweater they might cut his stipend. So the sweater remained in the drawer and Justin wore the serviceable Blue Oxford button-down instead. Brian was sure he could get Justin to wear it another time.

Brian took it slowly. He started by inviting Justin for a drink at Woody’s after work, a couple of times of week. If they ended up at the loft afterward – well, more the better. 

They fell into a weekend routine -- Friday nights at Babylon with the boys, Saturday breakfast at the diner with the gang. It took most of March and April before Michael got it through his head that Justin wasn’t going away. 

During the day on Saturday, Brian and Justin might go their separate ways – do their own thing – or they would pick up Gus and spend time entertaining the younger Kinney. On Saturday nights, they’d somehow settled into Justin making dinner then spending quiet – or not so quiet -- nights at the loft. Sunday they mostly kept to themselves, occasionally stepping out to join the munchers for brunch or stopping by Debbie’s for dinner.

And through it all Brian was surprised. Surprised that he didn’t get bored. Surprised that as March turned into April and April into May he looked forward to the time he spent with Justin – instead or running the opposite direction to the nearest trick.

Justin wallowed in it all. Brian was everything he wanted – attentive, considerate, conscientious, kind. Oh, he hadn’t lost the snark, and his wit was still as sharp as ever – as was his tongue. But he made Justin feel like he was the only man in the world.

That was until the zucchini man.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

One Saturday, early in May, Justin and Brian had dropped off Gus and headed to the grocery store for dinner supplies. Justin had been going on and on all week about wanting to try out some Asian fusion recipe. Over the past couple of months Brian had learned to tune out such things instead of being annoyed. So there they were in the produce section of Whole Foods, Justin up to his elbows in organic bok choy, Brian holding a basket – he refused to push around a shopping cart, too domestic – when he overheard the conversation. 

A man in jeans and black leather gossiping like a queen, “See him? That’s **_the Brian Kinney_**. He used to be the hottest stud around here. Now he’s in a **_relationship_**.”

Brian could feel himself cringe. _When had he become so pathetic?_

“Are we almost done here?” 

Brian’s annoyance was evident in the question, and Justin moved to finish up. Dropping three baby bok choy in the basket Brian held, Justin gave him a quick peck on the cheek oblivious to the scene unfolding around him.

“I’m almost done – I need to get a couple of things from the pasta aisle, I’ll meet you over by the meat case.” Justin waggled his eyebrows and made a quick exit.

Brian chuckled as he moved around a bin of oranges, and came face to face with the guy in the jeans. Jeans guy ran his hand along the length of a zucchini about six inches long.

Brian rolled his eyes, and promptly picked up a fat and longer cucumber. Jeans guy responded with a longer zucchini. Brian countered with a seedless English cucumber, nearly fifteen inches in length. Zucchini man frowned, Brian tossed the cucumber back in the bin and, with a derisive snort, headed off to the meat case.

“Chicken, Salmon or Shrimp?” Justin perused the contents of the refrigerated cases.

“Huh?” Brian huffed.

“Or I guess we could try scallops… I’ve never cooked them before…”

Brian felt his eye twitch. _Time to get out of here._ “Chicken.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When had it started? Brian tried to remember what could have been the turning point that lead to where he was now – the decline and fall of the Kinney empire.

“Da!” Gus wobbled over and attached himself to Brian’s leg. “Up, Da! Up!”

Brian absently leaned down and picked up Gus, raising him over his head and settling the boy on his shoulders. Gus kicked happily, content to ride on his father.

“Brian Kinney, family man.” Ted pronounced from his seat on the couch opposite where Brian stood.

Brian turned, annoyed, “What are you blabbering about, Theodore?”

“You so... domesticated. In a re-la-tion-ship.” Ted punctuated each syllable. “Father... husband... devoted partner – I don’t even mind losing the hundred bucks.”

“What fucking hundred dollars?”

“Brian!” a choir of female voices shreiked.

“huh?” Brian shook his head and looked back at the couch.

“Oh, that was _the_ bet!” Emmett chimed in. “It’s been over a month since you’ve visited the back room at Babylon...”

“No, it hasn’t,” Justin and Brian answered at the same time, much to Brian’s irritation.

“I didn’t finish!” Emmett took back control of the conversation, “it’s been more than a month since you’ve visited the back room of Babylon with someone other than Justin!”

“So?“

“Next thing you know, we’ll be getting the invitation for the commitment ceremony...” Ted needled.

“Notice of where you’re registered...” Lindsay chimed in.

“His and his towels in the bathroom...” Vic couldn’t resist adding.

“Giving up the studly Jeep for a mini-van!” from Melanie.

Brian slowly sizzled as the taunts went on.

“Dus! Dus!” Gus reached out toward Justin from Brian’s shoulders. Brian took advantage and transferred the tot to Justin; crossing the room, he walked out the door.

Justin looked after Brian worriedly. “Maybe I should go...”

Debbie waved him back. “He’s just blowing off some steam, he’ll be back after a couple of cigarettes...”

Justin wasn’t so convinced. After about ten minutes, he handed Gus off to Lindsay and went outside to investigate.

The first clue was the vacant space where the Jeep had been parked.

“Fuck! I can’t believe he left me stranded.” Justin turned around and went back in the house.

“Brian coming in?” Debbie asked. “We’re about to sit down.”

“Uh... Something came up.” Justin managed to get out.

“I’ll bet.” Melanie commented with a snort.

“Mel!” Lindsay chastized.

“We’re going to go; thanks for the invite, Debbie.” Justin headed out the door.

“He’ll get over it. Just let him blow off some steam,” Debbie called after him.

Justin turned down the street.

Debbie closed the door after him. “That asshole!”

“What?” Michael climbed the stair to where his mother stood.

“Brian... he left without Sunshine.”  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Justin waited at the bus stop, alternating between cursing Brian and fretting about him. He tried to figure out whether he should go to the apartment he shared with Daphne or go to the loft. He gave up, letting fate decide – whichever bus came first, he’d take. Justin looked up as he heard a bus pull up – Tremont Street. _Well, I guess that's it._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian slammed into the man bent over the white leather couch. Time and again he pulled back to thrust harder... deeper. The man below him writhed in ecstacy -- overtaken by passion; for Brian there was nothing.

The loft door slid open.

“Brian...” Justin halted at the site of his lover and the other man.

_Fuck!_

Brian hesitated for an instant, then kept on thrusting. _Wasn’t this what it was all about? Exerting his independence?_

Stroking the man beneath him off, Brian tried to hurry things along. But as he watched Justin turn and flee he felt nothing but remorse in the pit of his stomach.

The man beneath him came with a loud growl. Brian discharged into the condom and was left feeling empty and unfulfilled. There was no joy, nothing like what he felt when he and Justin made love. _Made love? No! Fucked. They fucked. They weren’t a couple of lesbians or stepford fags._

“That was great... can I use the shower?”

“No. Get out.”

“But...”

“I said, Get. The. Fuck. Out!”

Zucchini man hiked up his pants and headed for the door. “You’re a fucking lunatic! A head case.” Giving Brian the finger, he left the loft in an angry stride.

Justin had made it to the bottom of the steps, along the way trying to sort out his feelings – betrayal, hurt, anger, self-pity. He had taken his role in Brian’s life for granted.

The trick stomped by him. “The great fucking Brian Kinney... you’re welcome to him kid! He may be a great fuck, but he’s a fucking asshole!”

‘Yeah,’ Justin thought. ‘But he’s my asshole.’ They had never said they were going to be monogomous – Justin had taken it for granted. He stood up and dusted off his ass. He looked up the stairwell. Justin grabbed hold of the bannister and began his climb.

The loft door was still open, the stench of the fuck wafting out to the hall, leaving little evidence behind. Brian was in the bedroom naked, except for a towel around his waist and another slung around his neck. His hair was wet, giving evidence of a quick shower. 

Immediately on the defensive, he watched as Justin swallowed back the tears.

“We’re not fucking married.”

“No, we’re not,” Justin agreed.

“Then don’t fucking stand there looking like the betrayed little housewife.”

“No, we’re not married. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t hurtful to see my boyfriend...”

Brian rolled his eyes.

“my partner...”

Brian cringed.

“Fine! Whatever the fuck we are to one another. We’ve been playing this game off and on for over a fucking year now. It’s not like you don’t know how I feel.” Justin paced back and forth, arms gesturing to the couch, the bedroom.

“It fucking hurts to come home... here and see you fucking some trick over the same couch where we eat take out and watch movies. I probably should be pleased you didn’t make it up the stairs to the bedroom.”

Brian didn’t respond.

“Do you have any idea how much pain that...” Justin pointed to the couch, “that!...” He drew in a ragged breath, “Do you have any idea how much that tears at my soul?”

“Why? Why do you have to rub it in my face? I told you before I understood your need to trick... but after these past few months... I guess I thought you had stopped – or at least stopped doing it where I’d walk in. Looks like I’m wrong – about a lot of things.”

“Justin...” Brian reached out, but Justin shied away, moving to the opposite side of the room.

“Justin...” Brian tried again. “It doesn’t mean anything... besides, he was a lousy fuck, not like you...”

As if those words would make all the difference. Brian wasn’t prepared for the fury in Justin’s eyes.

The younger man turned on him. “A lousy fuck? A lousy fuck?! Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because he was a lousy lay, that excuses what you did?

“Did you _ever_ stop to think while you were fucking someone’s brains out, why you feel a need to waste your time on a _lousy lay_ that means nothing to you? When you could be spending time with me – who you do seem to have some real interest in? 

“ _I_ don’t care whether or not he meant something to you.

“I used to ask myself why am I not enough? Then I learned that what we do together is different... special. I stopped being threatened by whatever trick you just had to try. It’s not about who you fuck. It’s about you choosing to fuck someone who you admit means nothing to you, rather than spend time with me who supposedly does mean something to you. Why? Why do you waste your time that way? Why do you disrespect me and what we have together that way? I was beginning to think that we had something here – that finally we were going to give it a go. But when a bit of teasing at Debbie’s puts you in a tailspin – well, I’m not going to wait around for you to finish your lousy fuck to make time for me.

“You know why?” 

Brian shrugged his shoulders – he had no idea.

“Because, if after all this time, you can’t have respect for me and what we are together, I guess I’m going to have to have enough respect for myself to say I deserve better.” Justin ended by sucking in a deep breath. He left the loft quickly before he could talk himself out of it.

Brian sat down on the back of the couch, not that far from where he’d just been fucking his trick. Absently, he picked at the leather. _Well, I certainly managed to fuck that up. Now what?_


	30. Mr. Know It All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it folks - the last chapter.  
> I hope you have enjoyed the ride.  
> I'll be posting a new multi-chapter fic beginning this weekend.

“You fucked up.” Debbie smiled sweetly as she filled Brian’s coffee cup.

“Thank you for that tidbit of breaking news.”

“Whatcha gonna do?” she snapped her gum as she slid into the seat opposite.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?!” Debbie’s screech momentarily rendered the diner silent. Conversations resumed and Debbie grabbed at Brian’s hand. “He’s not going to come around, honey. You’re going to have to go to Sunshine – tell him how you feel, tell him you were wrong, tell him you’re sorry.”

“Sorry’s bullshit.”

Deb dropped his hand. “Well, you’re going to have to do something,” Deb replied, devoid of sympathy.

“And look like a pussy?”

“Since when does Brian Kinney give a fuck what people think?”

Brian kept his mouth shut.

Debbie shook her head. “Face it, you fucked up.” Debbie stood up and went back to waiting tables.

~+~+~+~+~

Brian moaned and rolled the pillow around his head.

The banging on the door was not stopping.

“Cease the fucking... uuauaudow…” the shout ended in a moan as he squeezed his eyes shut and willed the pain between his ears to subside.

Naked, Brian stumbled out of bed. His foot rolled on the empty bottle of Beam, and he landed on his back on the bed.

“FUCK!”

Brian rolled to his side and slowly righted himself. The knocking on the door had turned into a rhythmic cadence. Gingerly, holding his head and hobbleing on stubbed toes, he crossed to the door, and rolled it back.

Daphne, eyes shut, head lolling from side to side in time with whatever was playing on her iPod didn’t stop her knocking hand until she felt air beneath her knuckles.

“What?!” Brian winced at his own volume.

Daphne smiled sweetly at his face as she popped the earphones from her ears. Her eyes grew large as she took in all of Brian – au natural – and her mouth formed a silent “O”. 

Brian schooled himself to be civil. “Hello Daphne. What brings you out at this hour of the morning?”

Daphne grinned up at him. “It’s afternoon.” She skirted Brian and moved to the couch, where she bounced lightly into a seat. Brian seemed to be in a pretty good mood, despite the obvious hangover. “You need to fix Justin.”

“Come again?” Brian rolled the door to the loft shut, grimacing at the dull thud as the door locked into place.

“Justin. You fucked up, so you need to fix him. Like last time.”

“What? The tricks starting to pile up outside your door again?” Brian climbed the steps to the bedroom and grabbed a pair of sweatpants.

Daphne gave an annoyed frown as Brian pulled the pants on. “Nope. No problem with tricks this time. You fucked up… Justin’s broken… You fix him.”

“Just like that.”

“Just like that.” Daphne beamed at Brian and batted her eyes for good measure. Having delivered her news she moved back to the door and rolled it open. “By Friday.” She turned to leave.

“Friday?! What the fuck? Hold on a second.”

Daphne turned back.

“Why Friday?”

“He has finals next week. He can’t concentrate with this shit going on. You’re the one who convinced him you wanted him around, then you decided to fuck the Zucchini Man.”

“Zucchini Man?”

Daphne rolled her eyes and marched back to the couch. She sat down and patted the cushion next to her. Amazingly, Brian sat down next to her. “The trick from the grocery store? Ring any bells? He was draped over the back…” she gestured at the couch, then pulled back a bit.

“It’s leather.” Brian smirked at her. “And I’m sure my cleaning lady has eliminated any evidence, that was over a month ago.”

“Yes, well... As I was saying, you fucked up and you need to fix it before you fuck up Justin’s finals.”

“Justin is fully capable of taking care of himself. He doesn’t need me, or anyone else,” the look Brian gave Daphne clearly indicated who he was referring to, “to fight his battles for him.”

Daphne cocked her head to one side. “Why are you so afraid to be nice to the people who love you? Who you love?” She got up and headed back to the door. She stepped outside and started to close the door, but added one last thought. “You know, maybe you didn’t break Justin, maybe you broke yourself.”

“Get the fuck out.”

“Don’t worry, I’m going. But take a look around; something needs to be fixed. It’s pretty fucked up around here.”

The door closed with a thud.

Brian sat on the couch and stared at the door for nearly an hour before getting up and taking a shower. _Yeah, something was fucked up. His life._

++++++++++++

“Mikey!” Brian greeted his friend with a false smile. “To what do I owe this pleasure? Are you here to tell me I’ve fucked up?”

“Uh, no. Ben’s got a weekend seminar out of town. The guys and I haven’t seen you around much of late. I thought maybe you’d like go to Woody’s and maybe Babylon afterwards.”

Brian raised his eyebrows and Michael waited for a sarcastic comeback.

Brian glanced around the apartment, _fuck it_. He turned back and pasted a smarmy smile on his face. “Sounds like a plan.”

+++++++++++++ 

“No! I don’t want to go to Babylon. I want to stay home and study!” Justin pulled his arm back from Daphne’s hold.

“You need to get out. You’re not getting anything done – you’ve been staring at the same page for the last hour. You need a break.”

“But…”

“No buts about it…” Daphne dragged Justin off of the couch.

+++++++++++++ 

“Is that number 8?” Emmett asked as he watched the trick approach Brian. Brian neatly sunk the final striped ball into the corner pocket.

“By my count it’s the tenth one he’s turned down tonight,” Ted replied. He watched Brian line up his shot and the 8 ball rolled into the pocket ending the game.

“Fuck off.” Brian didn’t even meet the trick’s eyes. He merely collected the balls into the rack and set up for the next game. “Well, Theodore, I believe you called winners?”

“You know Bri, after that demonstration I’m thinking I’d rather save my money.”

Brian snorted. “Always the accountant. Honeycutt?”

“Don’t call me Honeycutt! Besides, it’s after eleven. I’m thinking it’s time for Babylon.”

Brian placed his cue in the wall rack, and slung his arm around Michael’s shoulder. “Well, I guess we should be off then.”

+++++++++++++ 

Justin leaned back his head and let himself be transported by the steady bass beat. His bones felt languid as he moved back and forth with the surge of the sea of dancers. Daphne had abandoned him, after he’d assured her that he would be fine making it home on his own. All there was left to do was let himself be transported by the music.

+++++++++++++ 

Brian, Michael, Emmett and Ted leaned against the railing, watching the crowd below. After the fifth potential trick had been turned down by Brian, Michael just had to say something. 

“I don’t get it!”

“Get what, Mikey?”

“You. All night you’ve stayed by my side. You haven’t gone off to get your dick sucked, or have a quick fuck in the bathroom at Woody’s or visited the back room here. In fact, I don’t think you’ve done much of anything for nearly a month now.” 

Michael’s eyes got real big and lowered his voice to stage whisper. “Oh my god! Brian, everything’s all right, isn’t it? You’re not…” Michael looked left and right, then dropped his voice further. “Brian, you’re okay aren’t you? I mean, you’d tell me… if something was wrong… right?”

Brian suppressed a laugh. He leaned down and kissed Michael on the lips. “I’m fine Mikey. Don’t worry your pretty little head. In fact, I got tested a couple of weeks ago and everything is fine and dandy.” Brian pulled at the collar of Michael’s shirt, tidying his best friend up a bit. “Don’t worry about me.”

“But Brian. I don’t understand. You’ve turned down every guy who has even tried to approach you.”

“He’s right, Brian.” Emmett cut in. “It’s not your pattern to turn down the goods. And by the looks of tonight’s crop, I’d say they were very good, indeed.”

“More than good.” Ted agreed.

Brian ignored the inane chatter of the gang and glanced out over the dance floor. And there he was.

“… and I’d be happy to take care of any of the rejects.” Ted was nattering, as Emmett nodded along.

“Help yourself, gentlemen.” Brian walked down the stairs and onto the floor. There was only one person who garnered his interest, and he wasn’t a trick.

“Where’s he going?”

“Brian?”

“Really?”

Emmett, Michael and Ted let their words run out.

They watched Brian descend the stairs and enter throng, only to have it part. If it hadn’t been so fluid and natural, they would have laughed. The seas parted as Brian made for Justin – who was oblivious to all that was happening.

A small smile pulled at the corner of Justin’s lips as he felt the heat behind him. He knew it was Brian. Justin promised himself that he’d move – in a minute or so. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He wanted to relish the warmth of Brian’s body – just a moment longer. Just one more second and he would cross the dance floor, march out the door and never look…

Brian’s arms wrapped themselves around Justin. 

Justin froze in panic.

 _That isn’t right._ Brian spun Justin around.

Justin squeezed his eyes tighter, then willed his whole body to loosen and opened his eyes. “Brian.”

He could either try to make small talk in the middle of a crowd of queens or…

Brian brought his palms up to cup Justin’s face. He looked deep into blue eyes. Brian rubbed his thumb across full, red lips, before lowering his lips to Justin’s.

“Ohmigod!” Emmett nudged Ted, who promptly spilled half the contents of his beer bottle onto Michael.

“Ted!”

“Michael,” Ted pointed at the dance floor. “Look!”

“They look happy.”

“Emmett!”

“Well, they do.” Emmett insisted.

Michael looked up from brushing the beer off his pants and realized that he didn’t see Justin or Brian. “Where’d they go?”

Ted and Emmett scanned the crowd and shrugged.

++++++++++++++++

Brian had managed to drag Justin outside of Babylon, before the younger man tugged his arm free of Brian’s hold.

Brian leaned back against the brick wall of the alley. He tucked is hands in his back pockets hoping to look nonchalant, but actually more worried about being able to keep his hands off of Justin.

“Okay, I get it.”

Justin raised his eyebrows.

“I get it that you don’t want to feel manhandled by me.”

“On the contrary, I rather like feeling manhandled by you. But that doesn’t change anything. It’s self-preservation.”

Brian pushed off of the brick wall and stood facing Justin. He let out a rather exhausted breath. “Look, can we talk?”

“Here?”

“No, not here. At the loft.”

Justin backed up, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“I promise not to jump your bones.”

 _What about me jumping your bones?_ Justin bit his lip. He looked around the alley. Not exactly the place to have a conversation. The diner? Too public. The apartment? Scratch that, Daphne in residence. _Shit!_ Justin sighed, “The loft it is.”

“Don’t hold anything back.”

“You have no idea,” Justin muttered under his breath as he followed Brian to where the jeep was parked.

+++++++++++++++++

They’d made it up the elevator and into the loft without Brian grabbing at Justin, or Justin pulling off Brian’s shirt. By silent agreement they moved to the sofa, each commandeering an end.

It was quiet for a while.

“You wanted to talk?”

“Huh?” Brian seemed to be distracted.

“You said you wanted to talk.” Justin made to raise himself off the sofa. “Look, if you’ve decided you’d rather not, I’m going. I have to study for…”

“Don’t go.” Brian reached out and lightly touched Justin’s arm.

“Why?”

“Believe it or not, I’ve thought about what you said.”

“What did I say?” The words tumbled out of Justin’s mouth before he could restrain himself. Fuck, he knew exactly what he said the last time he was here.

“It’s hard for me, you know?”

Justin nodded, not entirely sure what to say.

“I mean, you say you don’t care about monogamy, but you don’t want me fucking other guys…”

“Obviously, you didn’t hear what I said, or understood what I meant...” Justin cut in.

Brian waved his arms. “Whoa there, cowboy. I heard what you said. I also know what set you off.”

Justin eyed him. “Continue.”

“You’re right.”

Justin was nonplussed by that – what the fuck was Brian saying?

“I’ve always respected honesty, the truth. And sometimes the truth can be painful – but better than being told fucking lies because people think you that’s what you want to hear.

After you left, I thought about it. I didn’t give a fuck about the trick, but I do care about you. I wouldn’t set out to intentionally hurt you, or disrespect you. And while I can’t promise that I’m not going to blow off some steam on occasion by getting my dick sucked or fucking a trick, I do see how doing something like that in your presence would hurt you. And I do see how it doesn’t show respect for someone that I want for my boy… part… for someone that I’d like to have around more often.

The truth is that spending time with you in or out of bed is still better than some trick whose name I won’t remember tomorrow. 

There is value in what ever the fuck we have together. And looking back over the past few weeks, I know that whatever we have together fucking beats the shit out of what ever the fuck we’re doing apart.” Brian stopped. 

Brian bit his lower lip and Justin melted. What Justin really wanted to do was fling himself into Brian’s arms. For a man of few words, Brian’s earthy eloquence spoke to him more than any romantic phrase or gesture. But Justin wasn’t letting him off the hook entirely.

“Are you saying you want us to be boyfriends?”

Brian winced. “I think we can think of a better term; we’re both over 21.”

“Some of us more than others,” Justin reminded, only to have Brian give him an evil look. “Partner’s then…”

Brian looked pained. “Look, do we have to… define it? Can’t we just admit we’re happier together than being apart?”

“Really?” Justin smiled.

Brian knew he was a goner. “Really.”

And at that, Justin did fling himself on top of Brian and meet his mouth with a hungry kiss.

“I guess we’re back together then?”

Justin nodded in delight. “Can I tell Daphne and Deb?”

“Why don’t we just demonstrate it.”

“I can live with that.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++  
Epilogue

Justin felt the warm body slip up behind him. He leaned back into the arms that wrapped around his body and swayed with the beat of the music. He felt a hand reach inside the waistband of his jeans and delve lower.

“I have a boyfriend, you know.”

“You don’t say.”

“He might get jealous.”

“We won’t tell him.”

“He’ll see.”

“Why don’t we go somewhere where he won’t see.”

Justin turned around and smiled up at Brian. “He’s all seeing, all knowing.”

“Mr. Know-it-all, eh? You sure he knows everything?”

“Absolutely. He taught me everything I know.” Justin pulled Brian’s head down and opened his mouth for a kiss. His hands feathered through Brian’s soft hair as his tongue invaded Brian’s mouth. 

Brian pulled back. “Hmmm, may be you could come back to my place and teach me a thing or two.”

Justin leaned back in Brian’s arms and smiled. “Hmmm, you look like you know quite a bit… but I’m willing to try.”

Justin grabbed Brian by the front of his jeans and pulled him to the exit of Babylon.

**Author's Note:**

> As always reviews, comments are welcome (appreciated, encouraged, begged for... ;^)


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